When the Birds and The Bees Come Knocking on Your Door

I'm sitting here this Sunday evening ever so bored.

I got a phone call earlier from a friend of mine, we chatted for a little bit and then she had to go feed her hubby and kids. So now I'm deciding what I'm going to do with the next 3 hours until bedtime.

Maybe bedtime will come sooner than I thought.

I went grocery shopping today. I was extremely disappointed when I asked the produce guy if they carried pear juice. I wanted so badly to try this Cucumber drink a friend of mine posted on Facebook. It's from Sacred Earth Healing Arts FB page under the photo named: Skin Perfection Smoothie . I will try the frozen section, as a friend of mine suggested to do. I didn't think to look there.

I suppose I could catch up on some shows I watch during the week, that I couldn't catch in their entirety. Especially Parenthood, that is one of my fave shows of all time.

 I had the unfortunate incident, thought my kids were sleeping when I put it on, and out come my twin boys telling me they couldn't sleep. No sooner had they come out, when one of the children on the show named Max, a teenager with autism, says matter-of-factly to his parents, "I have pubic hairs."

 My oldest twin says to me, "Mom, what are pubic hairs?"

*GASP!*

Now mind you, I have already had the birds and the bees talk with my children. Sad I had to have this talk with them at such an early age, but you would not believe the things that they are exposed to at their age, that I never even knew about until I was 20.(no joke) I was a sheltered child, and didn't get most of the jokes my fellow grade school peers told on the playground, but laughed as though I did. I will say that when I was in 7th grade, a group of three other girls and I did have this "club" where we'd meet up at her house, go to her mom's candy store, walk along the main drag as most kids did back then, and one time headed back to her house and looked at the naked pics in the magazine her mom had stashed in her bedroom that my friend found.

We all laughed, but truth be told, I was really embarrassed.

Never once did I say "We shouldn't be looking at this." or "I'm uncomfortable seeing this." Instead I went along for the magazine porn ride with my friends.  Thank God it was only dirty pics that one time and not drugs or alcohol.

I didn't drink until I was a  senior in high school....scratch that...freshman...I was a freshman in high school. My friend *Lori*(not her real  name) and our friend *Marge* went out on our bikes and Marge stole an Old Style out of her dad's fridge. Picture us riding down the street, sharing one beer as we tossed it back and forth. I'm surprised nobody told our parents. Because back then, my dad knew everyone in town. I couldn't go anywhere without my parents finding out what I was doing, even when I became an adult and a mom. Somehow, some way, they found out things about me. Till my dying day, I will never know.

I still shiver when I think of a date I went on with my very first "real" boyfriend.  I was 18, and we met at a job I got after I graduated high school.  We were in a parked car messing around and the windows were all fogged up, when all of a sudden there is a knock on the window. There stood a police officer with his flashlight asking us what we were doing.

"Studying officer, doing a project for biology," if only I had been quick enough to say that back then.

I was so nervous. The cop looked at my then boyfriend's license, then he took mine, looked at me, grinned and handed me back my license and told us to be on our merry way.

I was soooooo embarrassed. I'm pretty sure my dad knew that guy too.


I got home that night and I tried to run up the stairs as fast as I could. Both my parents were downstairs in the family room. I heard my mom yell to me and I froze half way up the steps then tip toed back down hanging my head over the railing.  My father is in his recliner and my mom was sitting in hers. They both were looking at me.

"Yeah?"

"So how was bowling?" My mom said to me.

"It was fun. We had a good time."

"What was your score?"

Dammit, busted.

"I didn't do that well. Got like a 45 or something."

Not even sure what a good bowling score is. Is 45 even a possible bowling score?

I don't bowl.
They did.

I smiled and ran upstairs.

So getting back to my son's question, I didn't avoid it. How do you answer something like that though? I trained my brain for the "Where do babies come from?" question, had it all mapped out, read tons of parenting columns and magazines but the most simplest (and should be easiest and obvious) answer to a basic question and I didn't know what to say.  

Couldn't he have asked this when I had at least 3 cups of coffee in me after a good night's sleep?

I finally said, "It's hair between your legs you get when you go through puberty as a teenager."

That seemed to answer his question.  Because none followed after that.

I was glad.

Then of course he and his brother went back to bed.

I can hear some parents screaming how I should shelter my kids from these things. That would be great if they didn't have to visit their father every other week and be exposed to stuff there too. I'm not going to bad-mouth him or say things that could get me in a load of legal trouble, but I have eyes and ears where he lives and I hear things that go on in the neighborhood. And my kids tell me stuff too that goes on there as well. Not on purpose, sometimes it's on accident. And I try to control my facial expressions so that they continue to tell me these things and will trust me.

Anyway, I want to have open communication with my children. I don't want them to be afraid to ask me about condoms or birth control pills when they are older. I'd rather teach them the pros and cons of having sex, then having one of them come home telling me a) "I got someone pregnant" or b) "I'm pregnant" at 16, 17 or 18. If someone abuses or bullies them or does something to them that they don't like wherever they are(work, school, etc...) I hope they trust me enough to tell me.  

Sex is nothing dirty. It's one of the most beautiful gifts our Creators have given us. It's nothing shameful at all. And it should be treated as such when discussing it with our children. That's how I see it anyway. That IS what I believe.

True I'd love nothing more than to have them NOT have sex until they are adults, married or not, but I'm not an idiot, and I just hope that my guidance will help make them into respectable, conscientious teenagers some day who make the right decisions in their life well into adulthood... Mind you not the decisions I WANT THEM TO MAKE, but decisions that are in THEIR BEST INTERESTS. (There is a difference and that's another blog I have cooking in the back of my mind.)

Okay, I've rambled plenty here. 

My fingers and my eyeballs need a break.

More to come later....this evening....remember I'm bored.  :)

~Magickal Graphics~