Tuesday, August 27, 2013

A Lot About Nothing

I'm still hacking and sneezing over here.

Like when it rains it pours, both in the literal AND metaphorical sense of that phrase in my life at this moment in time.

What a crazy 48 hours I've endured.  My weekend of "planning to relax and veg out" didn't quite come to fruition this past weekend.

I can't even tell you what  I did Saturday. It's mainly a blur, because of the sheer fact this cold/allergy/my body telling me I can't have fun/whatever it is won't leave me.  It's ruined my whole entire weekend, and then the mayhem of Mother Nature visiting me and not in the form of rain either was the final straw for me here.

I'll lay off the period talk for the sake of the men who may venture to read this blog, although let it be known that any man who dare to read my blog, take note that talk of periods, sore boobs, and any other female parts may be fodder for conversation on my blog here from time to time. Also the words poop, sex, fart and proper (and not so proper) names for parts of ones anatomy may also be shared here.  And for those overly-sensitive females who can't handle a little humorous post here and there about such topics, you've been warned as well.  Go read a post on how wearing horizontal lines makes you look larger than you actually are or something. You probably shouldn't be here.

No party poopers aloud on my porch.

******************************************

Now that my disclaimer is out there let's continue here. Where was I?

Oh yeah, I'm going to go to bed now.

That's right.

You heard me.

I'm going to bed now.

It's Tuesday evening, 11:11(does this make me a lightworker? I always see the numbers 1:11 and 11:11; I jest, but maybe I am who knows...please google it if you are still stumped by the lightworker comment or nothing else will be comprehended as you read the rest of this post as your subconscious mind will still be thinking "what in sam hill is a lightworker?")

...HURRY MAKE A WISH!

Too late.

It's 11:12 now.

Well here it's technically 11:12, but wherever the hell you are whenever you read this it might be 2:27 or 3:54. So don't make a wish now, unless of course you already did. But then you have to tell me if it came true. Because maybe making wishes on exact numbers(especially the ones for some reason) is not really  good luck. Maybe we are all such morons that we wish on 11:11, but truth is the person who started all this madness probably made a wish at 10:34 and all his/or her dreams came true and they don't want anyone else to have good things happen to them too. So they lied about the time.

Yeah.

This is why I'm going to bed.

This post is going absolutely nowhere.

2,434 views on my blog and only a spittle of comments?? What the hell is wrong with this picture?

*taps microphone*

"Hello...? Hello!"

*Loud Piercing squeak emits across the internet*
*Looks back behind the curtain(yeah, there is a curtain on the internet didn't you silly people know that?)*

"Is this thing on Lloyd?!"

*Taps again*

"Hello?? Anyone hear me out there?! Can you all just tell me why so many people have passed by my blog and not said anything? Hello world! Other than Anon*(aka Ed), Stephanie, Rochelle...ummm where are the rest of you folks out there at?"

*does a little dance, unbuttons top button, .....exposes.......
*
*
*
wait for it....
 *
*
*

 .....A TANK TOP UNDERNEATH MY SHIRT....HA! You thought I was going to expose something else didn't ya! Like the diamond necklace I'm wearing beneath the tank top*wink*(shit, if I was wearing a diamond necklace under my shirt, my ass would not be sitting here on a Tuesday night.  That reminds me...check the megamillions numbers...I might be a winner. If you don't see me next Tuesday...you'll know why...I'll be out wearing my diamond necklace). 


Or maybe you hoped I would pop out a boobie.

Okay you want to see it....I'll show you a boobie....make sure the kids aren't around.....wouldn't want them scarred for life now would ya.

Okay...here it goes.....

BEST BOOBIE EVER   (not spam ....I promise)

Did you like that?! Betcha did.

*Laughs out loud to self*

If a blogger is blogging and laughs out loud and nobody is around to hear her, is what she said still funny?

It's now 11:34.

You all realize that I was going to bed shortly before 11:11 and then my damn brain started thinking about random things and my fingers started typing them and next thing I know I'm here now talkin' about boobies and making up my own philosophical observations on reality.

I keep thinking this isn't my real life, but the life of someone else.


Okay.....I really am out of here. My damn nose is running like crazy.

And I have to pee. 

You all have a lovely day/night/afternoon.

I'm really going to bed.

Feel free to leave a comment on how many times I said "Okay" in this blog post.

I'll write more about the weekend, when I feel better.

Well snap a towel and call me whipped it's time for bed folks......


Sunday, August 25, 2013

Not YOU Again!

This pretty much sums up how I feel at the moment: 




Yeah...that's right!

I just finished a semi-entertaining blog.
Wanted to go and bake and clean and do all these things today.

Not gonna happen.

See what happens when you make plans?

So maybe I'll just veg out on the couch and eat more junk food.
Yesterday I had salsa, chips, a TV dinner, cookies, two containers of individual chocolate ice cream with whip cream on top and I don't know how many glasses of soda.
*not all in one sitting either, over the course of about 4 hours or so...but still*

I knew my "friend" was coming for a visit.

I was hoping it wouldn't be so soon, but I knew She was coming.

I was weepy all week, irritated at work(more than normal), I was more confused than I normally am, and frankly I'm beginning to wonder if I should just donate my female parts to science so I can end this madness. Take everything...puhhhhlease.... my uterus, my ovaries and all my damn hormones.

TAKE THEM!!!!

I don't want them.

They serve no purpose anymore.

The baby factory is closed and is just a dusty old wasteland of unused parts.

So go ahead scientists cut me open and take it all out.

Maybe you can find a cure for someone, somewhere thanks to my female parts.

Maybe I will be able to finally lose some weight.

My female parts are probably about 8 pounds right there.

Another twelve pounds and I can be that sexy-looking 33 year old I was 10 years ago.

Why do women have to have periods anyway?

My daughter told me the other day she doesn't want hers when it comes.

I looked at her and said, "No woman does, but that's something you can't avoid sweetie. It's a fact of life."

The disappointment on her face made me hug her.

I remember being in 8th grade and wanting mine so bad because all my other friends had theirs.

Then I got it.

And I was pissed it hit when I had my 8th grade sock hop, and I wanted to dance with a boy who asked me, but I had such awful cramps I didn't want to do anything but sit in the bleachers, cry,  and wait for my mom to come and pick me up.

That poor guy probably liked me and felt rejected.

I liked him.

Now I'll never know.

 I couldn't very well tell him, "Well, Joe(not his real name) I am sorry but I am hemorrhaging to death over here and I think I may be giving birth as these cramps are making my stomach feel like someone is inside me twisting my insides out so no Joe, I can't dance with you now." 



I could have been married to him instead of dating all the stupid losers I dated over the years. We would of had our 21st wedding anniversary this year, our seven beautiful children joining us along with our Shitzu Dog named Apple and our cat named Trixie.

DAMN YOU FLO!

So thank you, thank you so much Flo for ruining what could have been a wonderful life for me!


I should be cleaning right now.

That was my plan after my last blog.

To clean and then bake and then relax the rest of the day.

YOU DID IT AGAIN FLO! YOU RUINED MY PLANS FOR A PERFECT DAY!
STOP COMING AROUND FLO! STOP IT RIGHT THIS SECOND!

If only it were that simple, and TA-DAH!, *(snap)* all the hormones, and weeping and moodiness, and eating like food is going out of style would just go the hell away.

I know some people are probably out there rolling their eyes and thinking "Why is she writing about her period?" or "That's a little personal don't ya think?"

Woman all have them. It IS a fact of life.

Like farting, and belching, and poop(there is a book about this by the way, a children's book, I've read it several times too you can find it HERE! )  and all that other stuff that people find so rude and/or taboo to talk about, its a fact of life.

We could pretend it doesn't happen and we can suffer in silence or die of embarrassment because of it.

Or we can laugh about it.

I feel a need to share my current dilemma with other women who suffer too and need a good laugh or two because they feel the same way about it. 

I'm going to talk about it and make fun of it and try to make the best of it until the next 5-7 days are over.

To all the women out there who are dealing with it too, here's some chocolate:





 and a snippet of the movie Serendipity. Go ahead dig into to that chocolate, because you'll work off half the calories crying at the end of that sappy movie(which I absolutely love by the way).




Or how about Sleepless in Seattle?




Another good flick to shed a few tears too and miss a special someone by your side.
*Here, let me hand you a tissue.  More chocolate too perhaps?*

Okay, time to run.

I really have to get something done around here.

Before my lazy hormones take over or I end up with fifty blog posts in one day.

Highly possible.

Just sayin'.


Check this site out(Hilarious!):
http://menstrualproblems.tumblr.com/page/2




Being *Somewhat* Productive

*Cough, Cough, Cough....Sneeze*

Oh, excuse me, this cold just came out of nowhere.  Well actually not nowhere(is that a double negative? Because I didn't mean for it to be one), it came from somewhere obviously. Let's see where all the places are that I've been this week. Two grocery stores, a gas station, WORK wiping little noses galore lately, sitting at home, and that about sums up my agenda this week.

Now if we think about home, there are my children who have been around other children. My son had a sore throat and massive cough when he slept here a few nights ago while they were with me.  I had a sore throat Friday morning and was totally out of it by Friday night after work. Surprised I didn't run over anyone or swerve off the road from sheer fatigue.

It was THAT bad.

Yesterday  I felt better. So what's the deal here?

I am going to be baking some banana chocolate chip muffins today. I can't wait. The bananas are perfectly ripe for baking. Little bit o' brown spots and squishy. Not too squishy as in watery squishy, that would be disgusting, but squishy as in they can be mashed with a plastic spoon if need be.

So I'm going to bake. Going to clean, vacuum and finally dust around here.  There was a photo on Facebook floating around that I posted on my wall a while back. It said the following:

My house is not a mess.
It's just that everything is on display for your viewing pleasure.

Like a museum.

I added my own post to that above the photo before I posted the link. It said this:

  That's right...my house is a museum. To the right you will see the historic two pound dust bunny from 2012, feel free to autograph the end table atop the 4 inches of dust. And over there in the boys room, you will notice their latest science project, we call it "milk in a cup from yesterday" and there on the far left in the middle of the living room is "sock standing on it's own" or "Dirty T-shirt that lost it's way to the laundry room". Hold on tightly as you enter the kitchen and enjoy the delight of a sudden chill on your feet and losing your balance at the "Ice that Melted on the floor" display. Don't forget to head over to the fridge where you will find the sci-fi mystery dinners wrapped in aluminum foil or growing inside a Rubbermaid container, they may even smile at you. Be careful of the sneaky and sticky Capri sun straw wrapper that will latch onto your bare foot or shoe. Those things are evil. You've been warned. LOLLLL

That pretty much sums up my apartment at the moment. Well, scratch that. There are no science projects or mystery meals in the fridge anymore. I cleaned a bit yesterday...in slow spurts....but there is still some dust worthy of an autograph or two on the table.

That reminds me of this pizza place we use to venture to when I was a teenager. It was called Geno's East, it was on the Southeast Side of Chicago. While you waited to be seated, you could write on the walls of the restaurant anywhere you wanted to. It was a graffiti artist's heaven. Not that I was a graffiti artist by nature, but felt kind of invigorating to do something that was normally considered illegal outside the walls of that establishment without it being illegal. Ya know?  You could also draw on the tables too. And the deep dish pizza was to die for.

Miss that place so much.

Good times.

I just caught a glimpse of the weather on the Weather Channel as I went to refill my coffee mug. More thunderstorms afoot this afternoon. I can't wait.  All week long there is a chance of rain, thanks to our good buddy Tropical Depression Ivo. Who names these storms anyway? What kind of name is Ivo. I have heard of Ivy, or Ivan even, but Ivo?  Are there any Ivo's out there reading this? If so kindly raise your hand.

*silence*

Uh, huh. I thought so. 

I'm thinking I may need to start building that ark. Actually forget the ark, I have a blow up twin mattress here, I'll just duct tape some wood around it and have a nice little canoe. I can use some brooms for paddles and  be sure to pack my insulated Walmart bag to stock up on canned goods and water for the trip.  Maybe we will flood enough the waters will float me right back to my parents back yard in Indiana.

That would be funny.

(I have a really vivid imagination, and I'm bored so I'm just gonna go with it)

 I can just see myself floating down the alley between my sister and my mom's house waving with a big smile saying "Hi mom! Got some coffee ready? I'm home!"

Dog starts barking, I grab onto the side of her fence and hop over it. Because of course the flood waters only go down the alley and not in my mom's yard. 
 
My kids do this all the time. They give me hypothetical situations and tell me their version of how things could go.

Or they do the "what if" scenarios a lot of times.

For instance, one day we were sitting here and I had forgot to shut the heat off on the spaghetti o's after I served the kids lunch. So my son says to me "what if it had started on fire?" then I said "well then, we'd exit out the front door or patio door." Well, what if they are blocked by fire? "Well then, I guess we'd go through one of the bedroom windows." Well, what if the bedroom windows are blocked too by fire? The sarcastic adult in me would probably like to say "Well then I guess we'd be burnt to a crisp like bacon, huh?" But I would never say that. So instead I said, "Well, we'd probably go out the living room window then.

Another what if moment from my youngest twin, well more like an imagined hypothetical went like this:

"Mom who do you think would win a fight between an Army of Bugs vs. the People Army?"
"Probably the Army of People," I say matter of factly.
"But the bugs could win couldn't they?"
"I guess they could, but it's highly unlikely."
"But the bugs could sting the people with poison and they could die."
"I suppose they could". 

So why did he ask me to begin with. The bugs already won the war in his head.

He then went on to ask me who would win in the war of an Army of all the birds in the world or the People Army(people army, why am I saying people Army?? My kids have me talking like them now. You know I was at work the other day and I was giving a coworker a recipe and I told her "Half a cup of sprinkle cheese..." I stopped to laugh, and said "I meant Shredded Cheddar") 

So getting back to the war between birds and people I told my son I wasn't sure who would win. I figured why get into this again. But he persisted and I told him the People Army would win because they have guns. And hunters shoot birds with guns, and since the People Army are trained to shoot guns they would win.

No argument from him.

I won that discussion I guess. Or gave the right answer. Either way it was a win win for us both.

Okay, I suppose I've rambled on long enough. Time to get some actual productive stuff going on around here.

Like cleaning(sigh).

Or writing my to do list in the dust on the end table.







 






Saturday, August 24, 2013

THE LIST

Today was not a typical Saturday.

Although I am not sure I actually have a "typical" Saturday to begin with.

For starters, I slept in late. I barely sleep in late on my days off. Usually I'm up either with the birds or shortly thereafter. Next thing I noticed was the rain clouds in the Western sky, then the rain came. For a brief moment in my life I thought I had woke up in Indiana again.  I quickly realized such was not the case, when I walked out the patio door and saw my beast staring at me from under the carport.

Damn.


I had a whole list of things to do for today. I'm utterly exhausted and was even more exhausted yesterday when I wrote the list.  Lists themselves are exhausting...period. Thinking about lists is exhausting enough, and writing them, is even more exhausting.  Following through on lists...forget it. I'd rather procrastinate, or conveniently "lose" the lists if I had a choice in the matter.

On my list of things to do today was:

*Pay Cable
*Pay Gas Bill
*Mail out student loan and medical bills(sadly, with payment)

I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone when the other line beeps. I pick up and it's my ex and he is chatting away.


I  have my right ear glued to the house phone with my friend still hanging on listening to my half of the conversation with the ex, and my cell was on my left ear and he kept on talking. I was trying to tell my friend that I'd call her back, and he thinks I'm talking to him so he says bye, and I say "no wait!" and she says "okay" and I say to her "No, I'll call you back" and she laughs and says, "Oh, okay" and finally my brain is able to comprehend what is going on as two conversations are not something my poor little mind can handle these days. 

He called to tell me he was going to take a short jaunt(work-related) and bring the kids along with him on the five-hour road trip. Wow, good luck with that trip, nothing but desert highway with the occasional tumbleweed or dust-devil for a kid's entertainment. I give them two hours before the kids are playing with, fighting over the radio and the boys are throwing elbow jabs into each others rib cages. Followed by the standard, "Are we there yet?" coming from all three of their mouths.  Or my daughter chiming from the back seat, "Daddy I have to pee."

Fun times.

So my ex asks me if I got everything on "THE LIST".

Crap.

I forgot about adding school supply shopping to my to do list.

Dammit.

So I tell him I was planning on going today(not really a lie, I was planning on doing it, I just forgot I was planning on doing it and adding it to MY list) and told him what items are necessary and what items really aren't. Sure I can empathize with the teachers and their crappy budgets and spending money out of pocket, and yes I understand a lot of them are parents too, however, I am just so broke that if I bought every damn thing on that list, they'd be paying me back in the form of their taxes paying for my food stamps that  I'd have to apply for after getting everything on that damn list.

I don't want to go on food stamps.

Been there.

Done that.

Not fun.

So I thanked the ex for reminding me about the list, hang up with him, call the friend back and we start gabbing.  Next thing I notice the skies are getting darker and I tell her "I really have to go to the store to pay these bills and mail out this stuff and get the stuff on the list." We finally hang up and no sooner did I get to the store the H20 show begins as big droplets of water are pounding on my windshield at a slow, intermittent pace.

I run as fast as I can to get into the store in order to pass up a man and his daughter walking. I didn't want to run them over, poor kid wasn't moving very fast, and I know what it's like to have(I assume) a 3 yr old attached to your hand. It's like pulling an anchor out of very deep wet sand.

I get to the counter and finally pay my bills. I saw the guy with the girl behind me and she is playing with the swinging door that goes into the customer service booth. I am giggling at this and smile at the little girl and her dad. I tried to stay as far away from all the people around me, because truth be told I hadn't showered since yesterday morning. No joke. I probably smelled pretty. Like mold smells pretty. Or the bottom of your trash can smells pretty.

You get the sarcasm here right???

I pay my bills, snag some sushi for lunch, pay my rent on the way back and realize I am not going to make it to the Walmart out here anytime soon for "THE LIST"  because, as luck would have it the rain kept coming and I hadn't seen the sun in the distance anywhere.

Went home, ate my sushi, drank my soda and watched tv. Finally the skies cleared up and I ventured out to the van. Got in and drove off to get the stuff on "THE LIST".

This list is like a scavenger hunt.

The second I walk into Walmart there are binders, folders, spiral notebooks and other items galore, and I thought to myself "Awesome! I can find everything in the main aisle right here by the door!"

No such luck.

Got the spiral notebooks. 21 of those suckers to be exact. I'm not kidding. 21 spiral notebooks for three kids. What the hell? I think I will have my kids account in a log for every time they use a sheet of that spiral notebook paper.

I head on over to the seasonal aisle....chock full of messy shelves with crayons where the markers go, and lunchboxes and post-it notes where the folders should be.  Speaking of folders, I saw a blood red folder on the floor beneath my feet as I looked down, poor thing, may it rest in peace. It was stomped on, rolled over with carts, trampled by children, it just lay there with shoe prints and marks and bends in it.  I never saw a folder as red as that one. No kidding. I'm telling you, that poor thing was bleeding to death.

And what I found rather comical, was all the other mothers standing there with their LISTS too. Some on pink paper, one woman had one she printed out online, another mom had a green sheet with her LIST.   I felt a comradeship with these women. We were all there for the same reason....we were all too damn lazy to shop during the summer and we procrastinated and now we were panicking because we couldn't find a damn thing on "THE LIST'.

I finally found a very friendly stock guy there who was very happy to accommodate my bombarding him with the standard "Where is...(fill in the blank) located?"  He was so personable and laughed with(Or at) me and I wished him a wonderful day.

He was probably so chipper because he just started his shift. Think I'll go in there in about another hour or two and see if he's still smiling and cheerful.

Probably not.

I headed to the grocery section as I needed just a few things from there as well. I was walking in the meat section and there was this woman there, make up well done dressed nicely as were her children, however, when I looked at her (I'm laughing because I can still see that look on her face...priceless) she was yelling at her son and daughter to "stop it already! I mean it, stop it right now" as the kid was pulling on the cart and saying something to his sister who was whining back in his face. The woman and I made eye contact and her fierce, angered face went from fiery red, to a gentle smile when I smiled at her.

I smiled because I knew exactly how she felt. And I wanted to approach her and tell her "Believe me honey I have been where you are right now. And although I haven't showered in 24 hours, this is the most zen moment of my life. Here, let me give you some chocolate."

But I didn't, I kept right on moving my cart filled with school supplies and mini chocolate ice creams from Hagen-Dazs. I knew I was going to relax this evening, not so sure about her though.

Then I walked towards the frozen foods and this poor little girl, about  6, was sitting with her bottom wedged in the bottom of the cart enjoying the free ride. Her mom bumped something and she literally bounced out of the bottom of the cart and her little bum hit the floor. I couldn't help it, I laughed so loud and the mom looked at me and smiled and the little girl, dying from embarrassment I am sure, picks herself up, brushes off her legs and says "MOM!!!"

I grinned at the little girl and she is giggling and grinning at me and I kept on going.

Never a dull moment at Wally World.

I just sent an email to Walmart. Complimenting the stock guy and the cashier who waited on me. My luck had changed a bit as I was standing in line behind a family with the cart PACKED FULL of groceries a little Asian woman, very friendly smiled and said "Come this way ma'am", I looked behind me to see if she was talking to someone else, but no, it was in fact little old me she was talking and smiling to.

So I walked, no pranced, no skipped and hopped to her line.

Yay! No waiting.

Guess that was Karma paying me back for the email I was going to write when I got home. Who knows. Or maybe once in a while I can get a little blessing or two in my life. A little "normal" for once.

Normal is nice when it comes to visit.

I Heart Normal.

Okay... I have things to do.

It's already 7:00 here. I started cleaning my dining room, but then I wanted to blog.

So I blogged.

Now I'm going to clean.

Then I'm going to bathe.

Then.....I might even blog.....again.

 












Thursday, August 22, 2013

One Carnival of a Day

Days Of The Week Comments
Magickal Graphics
So glad tomorrow is Friday.

I am longing to find a nice hot bath, no noise, no kids, no bother of any kind for ONE 24-hour period.  Call it a mother's sabbatical. Call it a vacation/staycation whatever, I need a much needed respite of some sort.  I think I will stock up on Chocolate, coffee, and a few good tv shows, unplug the phone while laying under a blanket or sitting in the tub for a while.

I finally got my tags at the DMV to replace my tags that were stolen. Thankfully the wait wasn't too too long. My daughter and I sat there in our chairs as she ate her cotton candy that I purchased for her at the concession stand at the DMV. I often wonder why they have a concession stand at the DMV and then it hit me...there are long lines of people, chairs being occupied by whiny children, spouses arguing, people yelling into their cell phones, who needs cable? Not to mention the "free" movies. Yeah, the little tidbits of trivia they show you on a flat screen TV while you wait to be called.

Did you know it takes the length of a football field to stop your car when it's going 65 miles per hour? Did you also know that Sony bought out CBS records in 1988??

I got the CBS question correct. Yay me!

When I got to the information counter the woman handed me a number ticket(and a smile, which is so rare these days, especially when one ventures into DMV land) and told me it will cost about six bucks to replace my tags. Okay, cool. So my  daughter and I start to walk towards the seats, and as we do, I notice the number the woman gave me was 178, all the numbers on the computer generated sign were into the 190's. I walked back to the counter and told the woman, "Umm, excuse me, but this number says 178 and those numbers(pointing to the display) are in the 190's."  She apologized and laughed and handed me another ticket.

Apparently her brain was functioning at about the same level as mine by Wednesday too.

I call my work and let my boss know what was going on. I then proceed to take a seat with my daughter beside me. Wasn't even five minutes and she is asking me "Mommy, do you have that ball game on your phone still?" I told her I removed all the apps.  Two minutes passed, and again she is asking me "Are you sure you don't have any games? I'm bored."  I told her we could talk about politics, religion, unicorns, fairies and rainbows. I told her we could talk about chocolate or whatever. She didn't need electronics to keep her entertained.

I failed to mention, I was telling her this as I was updating the status on my phone on Facebook.

We began talking about school, and her hair and how she needed it cut. She doesn't want short hair, and I told her that we wouldn't cut it short we would just cut the split ends off. I started to show her what a split end looks like and then took my finger put it on my tongue and tried to push down the hairs that were spiraling out on the top of her head like alien antennae. She backed up in her chair and we both started laughing as I tried chasing her with my pointer finger as she dodged it from hitting the top of her head.   She was apparently grossed out by that and as the more I thought about it,  I hadn't washed my hands since we entered the building and God only knows how many people touched that door to the DMV entrance.

Yuck.

We then started singing songs from the radio. Katy Perry, Bruno Mars, just having a fun time. We sang in unison, except for the lines I didn't know the words to and I am thinking her and I should cut a record deal...perhaps with Sony Records. (grins) Finally it was up to 225 on the display. I looked at my daughter and grabbed her knee with faked excitement and a wide-eyed look and said "OH MY GOSH!! Just FIVE MORE PEOPLE!" She looked at me with that Mom you're embarrassing me look with the grin to complete the look.  I start jumping up and down in my seat, grinning excitedly, this didn't help her embarrassment by any means.

I couldn't help it.

Finally they call my number, and I jump up and say to my daughter "BINGO!" and we walk hurriedly to the counter. I smile at the nice woman behind the desk, and we exchange a little chit chat, and before long I am walking off with my new tags at the basement bargain price of Five whole American dollars.  Made it into work and after only 2 1/2 hours I got my lunch in.


By lunchtime I was starving. I only had a string cheese I got at the DMV carnival booth, I mean concession stand, and some coffee...much much coffee before I left the house.

I go to eat my sandwich that I made with such meticulous care; fresh Sara Lee Wheat bread, two slices of ham, lettuce, cucumbers and slathered with mayo. I couldn't wait to bite into that sucker.

I get my lunch out of my bag, and what the hell??

Peanut butter and jelly? Huh?

Yeah, that's right my beautiful daughter apparently got my sandwich and I got hers. In my quest to hurry out the door and not be too late for work I inadvertently stuck my sandwich in her Barbie lunch box and her PBJ in my bag.  Her teacher in her room and I were cracking up at her, because she didn't tell the teacher she got my sandwich, she ate it...all of it!!

And that little smirk she gave me as she told me how tasty it was, cracked us all up even more.

Thankfully I had some Spaghetti O's that I packed for lunch the day before, but was way too upset to eat by lunch after all the phone calls I had made. So I ate that instead.

Over all not a bad day.

A slight ruffle in my feather at lunchtime, but nothing that a few hormone induced tears didn't solve. I did tell my friend at work that I've got a massive case of PMS and to just disregard any waterfalls that should fall from my eyes this week.  I really wish I could be more like her, or my sister, where nothing really phases you and if someone steps on your toes you kick them in the ass with sarcasm or it just rolls off your back like it never even happened.

Know what I mean?

Now my son is complaining his throat hurts.  Sorry cowboy, but we have to go in to work. You will have to just hang in there until your dad can pick you up. Suck it up, man up son! Truth be told I feel bad for him. I want to just cuddle on the couch with him and let him rest. But I don't have that luxury. I don't have a hefty bank account, or a husband who is the CEO of some major company who wants nothing more than for me to be a stay at home mom or take my kids and I on vacations all over the US. Nope, I don't have that. All I have is me, my limited amount of cash which I will use on my way to work to purchase some green tea and medicine for my son to swallow in the hopes whatever this is will magically disappear.

One thing after another and another and another this week. Like riding the horses on the carousel and you just go up and down and around and around while the world around you is one big blur as you spin round and round. At first it keeps you going and the ride is bearable, despite the fact that funnel cake you ate before you got on is doing cartwheels in your belly, but when you can't get off of the horses, eventually it makes you dizzy, sick and just plain exhausted.

Anyway, it's time to get ready for work.

Can't wait for 6 p.m.

Can't wait for Friday even more.

Until then I will just enjoy the other carnival driven days that come my way and I hope I make it through the roller coaster of incidents and emotions that come my way until the weekend.




Tuesday, August 20, 2013

When The Full Moon Rises...

....all hell breaks loose.

I'm telling you, sit down in a nice comfy chair. Have a good laugh at my expense.

Seriously, go ahead laugh all you want to. I'm still not laughing, but I know in about two weeks time*(or perhaps two hours even) I just might fall on the floor in an abundant, crazed laughter...and never, ever stop.

I woke up this morning...(that is ALWAYS a good thing)....and I had my coffee, threw a load of laundry into the washer, played some Papa Pear on Facebook, meandered past the boys still sleeping on the couch and checked  on my daughter in her bedroom.  This was 6:30 or so.

I go to grab some cookies my daughter baked the day before yesterday( whatever day that was, shit I can barely remember what today is....Tuesday, right??*insert complex frown of confusion here*)  and I go back to my computer.  About 7 a.m. I begin to rattle the kids around. This is a long-winded process, I kid you not. I can barely get them up by 8:30 some days.  I don't know what we are going to do come Monday when school starts around here. We should be on the road by 8:30 for school and work.

Fast-forward to 8:45, we are getting ready to leave for the day and my daughter asks me if she could go get something out of my van(for the life of me I couldn't tell you all what it was she needed), I am out on the patio and I hear her tiny little voice yell up to me, "Mommy! What's this thing on your window?"

NO WAY!

I had seen the tow folks were out in tow last night(no pun intended) as the neon green tags were all over selected cars in the area. It's like dancing with the pearly gates of Heaven wondering if your number was going to be called that day.

I raced down the stairs like my ass was on fire.

I couldn't believe it.  There it was... a neon green sticker affixed to my driver's side van window.

I.WAS.PISSED.

I hurry the kids up as I had to get to the apartment office and out to work. I was already late for work. I get there and the office is dark. I see a maintenance guy and he informs me that they are out of the office for the morning.

^#%&$%$%^!!!!! (insert expletive of choice going through my brain at that particular moment)

Lovely.

I proceed to work and I arrive, still fuming and in tears and I'm trying to regain my composure.  I grab the plastic bag my lunch was in and as luck would have it...damn thing broke....  *more expletives...this time out of my mouth*  I slam the door shut only to realize I forgot my work smock. Open the door, with that neon green tag staring at me as though it were laughing at me saying "Ha ha you stupid fool!" I wanted to punch a hole in the window beneath that sticker, but I grabbed my work smock, locked the door to the beast and headed into work.

Eight hours is a long time, when nothing in your day is going well.

On my break I had called my boss, called the DMV to ask how much it would cost for me to replace the tags...five bucks...yay me....could of been fifty, I'll count my blessings there. Called the apartment complex and  FINALLY at 3:00 someone answered. She was pleasant, understanding and gave me her word that my van would still be here in the morning. I hope so. I hope her word is as good as gold.

Went back after my lunch break to find some very energetic children who were still awake during naptime. I finally got a schedule flow going and I just kept my mojo up despite the fact I wanted to crawl in the children's bathroom in a fetal position and cry. I cleaned faces, bottoms, noses, and anything else that needed cleaning. I broke up little disagreements over who had more Legos or more dinosaurs. I removed a dinosaur from a child's hair(it's very, very curly), I sang songs and did anything I could to keep the 19 children who were in my care safe and entertained until the other teacher returned from her lunch break.  I listened to the intermittent screams of children who were suffering from cabin fever, which on a desert summer day is very common around these parts.  I chased a child to the door who wanted to flee, although for a brief moment I wanted to help him open the door and join him on his quest to the hallway as it sounded like a good idea for the moment to escape, however, the furthest we could go is to the end of the hallway.

Not worth much to escape for that little jaunt.  So I just decided  to stick around instead and wait for 6p.m.

*holds breath, counts to ten*

I made it.

Despite all the drama of the day and the non-stop obstacles that permeated my life's path today, I made it.

WE made it.

After all that fuss and drama of the morning and afternoon we all made it to return safely to our homes and our lives and our children, mommies or daddies or whomever is where those children call home. 

I just let out a deep sigh.

I'm home.

I still have the beast. I keep looking out my window making sure the beast is still out there. Broken bumper, rust spots and dings galore, my beast is still a welcome sight for me on this full moon night.

Speaking of full moon....for those of you who think that the full moon doesn't affect what happens around us, think again. Scientifically speaking if it can control energy with the tides of the ocean it can certainly control the energy of human beings and the space around them.

I truly believe that.

Especially after a day like today.




Monday, August 19, 2013

A Little Randomness

I survived the weekend, what do ya know?

Although it flew by way too fast, I was happy to have a weekend that didn't require me to wake up early or go to work.

We had a nice storm yesterday. With it was tons of lightning, big, huge, bolts of lightning with thunder that literally shook the apartment. My kids enjoyed it as did I.  Here is a pic of the lovely sky that graced us late yesterday afternoon into the early evening:






There is a little girl that lives below us and she was outside, in the pouring rain singing us a song in her tiny little voice. Her mom was talking to her dad outside and she was just singing away over there despite the lightning and rain that was present. My kids and I were cracking up. I told her she should go inside, but either she didn't hear me over the rain, or she didn't care. Eventually her mother told her to go in the apartment.

Next thing I know, her and her sister come outside with their Hello Kitty and Duck umbrellas and they are still chattering away with my daughter who is on the patio with the rest of us. They rather entertaining to say the least.

So I was looking at the shopping list for my kids school supplies. There are about fifteen items that they need.  For starters, they need a thumb drive. Isn't that the responsibility of the school to provide that for the kids? Next they listed dry erase markers, eraser, 7 notebooks, 2 reams of copy paper(which I assume is for the teachers and not the students to use), glue sticks, 2-pocket folder, pencils, tissue, Sanitizer wipes, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Hmm....that gives me an idea. How about a beginning of the school year song to go with the list.
(Twelve days of Christmas Music in background here)

On the first day of grade school please bring this to your school...
One pocket folder
Two reams of paper
Three dry erasers
Four items in your lunch box
Fiiiiiiive packs of paperrrrrrrrrr
Six large pink erasers
Seven spiral notebooks
Eight #2 Pencils
Nine Colored pencils
Ten sticky glue sticks
Eleven pencil sharpeners
and Twelve Pack Crayola Crayons for art class. 

Wow that font is huge and so is that list!

I don't even want to calculate how much all of that will cost. I'm sure it's not going to be cheap. Especially for 3 kids.

*I shake my head*

I try and help out when I can. If I have the money, I buy the product. If I don't, well then let the school provide it; NOT the teacher...the school.  

Okay, it's time for me to shower and head into work. Hopefully my van will get me there and back this week. I hope so anyway.

Hope you all have a wonderful Monday.

I will see you all as soon as I can get my wits about me here and find something worth sharing. I hit a dry spell there for a while. Had some blog posts I started, but never finished. 

Go figure.

Until next time.....



 


It's Monday
New MySpace 2.0 Layouts

Sunday, August 18, 2013

When the Unexpected Knocks on Your Door

Today was a busy day for me.

 I was cleaning most of my morning and then a friend of mine was suppose to stop by with her kids. I texted and called her, but no reply.  I didn't know if something came up at her house, she has a husband and kids and a life, so anything is possible. I had a gut feeling however, that she'd show up with the kids and when she did I was well into cleaning and making pizzas for my kids and my house was trashed. I was still in my pajamas and sweating profusely as I was removing said pizzas for my kids from the oven.

As she came in the door my kids are all elated they are here, me on the other hand, truth be told was not as elated. I hadn't showered, my house was a wreck and I just wanted to jump into the oven while the door was still open.

She asked me if it was okay that they stopped by.

I gave her a look and feigned a smile and said "Yeah, it's fine." What was I going to say?

Let me say for the record, I always welcome company...friends, family....no matter what. No matter what mood I'm in, usually after company arrives whatever mood I am in slowly dissipates.

I did however, as I write this blog tonight, contemplate what may have come out of my mouth if I were a real crazy bitch and told her, "No, it's not okay. Can't you see I'm still in my pajamas? I missed a date with my shower and my kids have been driving me batty all morning. So NO it's not okay, please exit from the door which you entered. Good day." (Picture frazzled hair and sweat pouring down eyebrows and cheeks as I stomp my feet on the floor and then jump up and down in a fit of panic and frustration....yeah, that won't happen....just a hypothetical with my whimsical imagination I have here)

That would be cold. That would be so rude, and quite frankly I've never ever heard someone tell someone "No, it's not okay to bring me cookies when I'm on a diet" or "NO it's not okay for you to call me at 4 a.m to tell me your boyfriend just broke up with you" or "NO, it's not okay to ask me to babysit for the fifth time this week because I don't feel good today and I got my period."

You're my friend/family whatever the case may be. We all will have good days and bad days in our lives. Sometimes our planned schedules don't mesh with our bodies schedules or life schedules.

Truth is, if my friend waited for me to have a good day, in reality, we wouldn't be having a playdate or whatever it's called until our kids were well into college. And then that would simply be a girls night out.

No kids.

I would do anything for a friend/family member.  They may not be able to hear it in my voice at the time,  or the look on my face, because maybe I just woke up, or maybe I had a fight with my ex, or maybe my life just sucks at the moment and I'm having a depressed "episode" of blah-ness.  Whatever the case, that friend or family member that needs me called me for a reason. You can't sleep? Call me. You and the keeper of a boyfriend/husband/whatever broke up/wants a divorce/has a mistress and you need to cry into the phone(or even come over??) go ahead call or come by.

I have had several conversations with someone I care about. I will have several more too if she needs them. It's my family she lives with and although he is an adult there comes some days where she just doesn't know what to do. Their relationship hits bumps in the road, as do all relationships. I don't take sides. I listen to the whole story. I let them come to their own conclusions. I advise, if asked to do so, but I don't step on toes.  But my point here is, she has texted/called at 5 a.m./7 a.m. 11 pm etc... I will be there NO MATTER WHAT, regardless of if I'm tired, or just had a cry fest myself, I will be there. I will be there for my six sons and my daughter until I take my last breath in this lifetime.

I WILL BE THERE.

Because that is what a friend/family member does.
A friend isn't there when it's convenient,  they are there when it's important.  And a REALLY good friend will bring chocolate, coffee/wine, and a good comedy over if it's a real drama moment need.

I got my shower in.  I told her I'd be out in 5.7 minutes.  We both laughed as she looked at her watch.
I felt much better after that too. We had a nice visit. I was glad after all the madness of emotions that swept over me soon faded with the water that washed me as it ran down the drain. I think her visit was more of a blessing than I thought it was.  She put me in a better mood and we shared some good conversation and most importantly our kids got to hang out for a while.

So think about my day here next time a friend asks for a favor or wants to come and visit for a little bit. Those unexpected phone calls or visits may not always be as bad as you think they might be. You may think you are too busy, too tired, too annoyed, or too whatever to hang out or be there for that friend.

But in the end, that friend may have done you more of a favor than you'll ever know.




Saturday, August 3, 2013

The Gift of a Blog

Friendship Comments & Graphics
 
Okay, for all of you out there who don't like the occasional "sap" post, here's my disclaimer, my "warning" that this is about to get sappy happy. Kind of an oxymoron of sorts, but I just wanted to post this as someone who I DO consider a dear friend is moving out of state and I wanted to give her 
 
THE GIFT OF A BLOG.
 
Because truth be told, I'm broke and couldn't hang out with her at the dinner that everyone from work went to. If it wasn't for an upcoming kid's birthday party and a few more bills I need to pay, I'd of been there with bells on. 
 
She is an amazing person.
She has an amazing heart.
An awesome listening ear.
She has listened to me over the year ramble on about all my woes at work and home. 
 
 
We may not have ever hung out at each others homes, or talked on the phone, or gone out for coffee but truth be told she is still  a dear friend to me, because she was one of a very few people who
REALLY TRULY was there for me, when I just needed a friend. 
 
Definition of a friend:
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
This is according to The FreeDictionary.com. (link) 
My friend from work basically has all three definitions rolled into one person.
We have laughed so hard together some days at work. 
 Some days we laughed so hard together we nearly cried.
I wish her nothing but the best.
I will say that it's going to be rather hard to get any lemon squares her way, but if she leaves me her address I'll do my best to accommodate that should the need arise.
Spinach dip will be a little bit more difficult....might I suggest Applebee's instead?

Yesterday was a rough day.
I said good bye to two students and their mother, who was in tears as she hugged me and said good bye. She left me a gift from her children, and kept saying "it's just something small", but it could have been a painted rock and I'd of saved it forever and appreciated the sentiment.

Then 5:00 rolled around and I was doing flash cards with the little group of children I had left.
In comes my friend, and I looked at her and then I felt the tears well up inside me.

I knew the time had come....to say good bye.

We hugged and then we had about a five minute conversation and off she went.
I kept crying for about a minute or two.

I tried to stop.

I finally did and then returned to my duties.

It's hard to find really good friends out here.

They are like a diamond in the rough, a needle in a haystack, a winning lottery ticket.

I ran into her one more time as she was chatting with one of our other coworkers in her room.
We had a few more laughs, another hug, a "photo op" and then I left.

It's hard to say good bye.

But I am truly happy for her.

She is going home.

Home is good.

So to my dear friend, I wish you nothing but great things to happen in your life, lots of love and happiness, and I know we will stay in touch, just sucks we have to do it so far away.

There is a saying that says

People come into your life for  a reason, a season or a lifetime.

You gave me the gift of all three:
The reason you came into my life for a season was to let me know that there is hope still that a true friend can be found, despite the odds. And I take comfort in knowing our friendship WILL last a lifetime.

Take care my friend.

See ya on Facebook.

HUGS.