The "Positives" of Procrastination

Here I sit in front of my puter on a humid Saturday morning. I managed to clean my bathroom so the kids can bathe/shower when they wake up, but that's about all I did.

I also made some coffee (and drank plenty of it too) and sat out on my porch and listened to the neighbors arguing and the one guy swearing like a sailor, banging on either the carport roof or the hood of a car.  I didn't bother to look because being the nosy Pollack I am I know when not to stick my nose in and hide out like a groundhog on February 2nd.  That's the joy of living where I do, there is always some neighborhood drama of some kind around here.  Not my kind of neighborhood, but it's all I can afford for now.

I did take some photos of some random clouds the past few days. I love taking nature photos.  Some of the clouds were pretty cool looking.  Take a look for yourself:

I also had one that resembled a tornado. Of course we don't have tornadoes in Vegas, but if we did it might look like this:

I just get carried away when I start taking pictures.  I took these from my patio yesterday. That sun is blinding. I can just feel myself broiling like a steak on the grill when I am sitting out in this sunlight:

Those are pyrocumulus clouds, at least according to our local meteorologists and the general population of the weather community. They have a red hue to them especially when the sun sets you can really see the red in the sky. The pyrocumulus cloud is a convective fire-aided cloud.

This concludes this week's Science lesson.

There will be a pop quiz on Friday.

*smirks*

Anyway, I could be doing dishes right about now, but instead I chose to post these photos because in all honesty it beats having dishpan hands.

So what exactly are the positives of procrastinating? Well let's take a look shall we?

For starters, if you procrastinate and don't do laundry on time, you are forced to go to the mall and buy a new wardrobe. This is not such a bad thing. You go to the mall and as you walk in the door, there in the food court is the lovely Cinnabon store. You can't simply walk into a mall and pass up a moist, cinnamon-laden roll, so of course you buy one and the tasty refreshing drink of choice to wash it down.

Next you head on over to the music store. You cannot pass by the music store because that CD you have been dying to get "80's Classics from Prom" is on sale for $5 and you must absolutely have that in your CD collection.

After purchasing your new music you head on over to the shoe store, to see if they might carry jelly shoes to compliment your new music purchase. You are thinking to yourself "Gee, I need to invite the girls over and have an 80's party."

Now you are having a party.

You are walking down the center of the mall when the woman with the wraps approaches you and asks if you would like to try one on.

"Why sure!" you happily exclaim.  "I would love to!"

She wraps you up like a burrito in this overly-priced get up and next thing you know you hand her your credit card and $44 bucks of your hard-earned money is now the property of Sari-You-Bought-This...you think to yourself that this is a company you never heard of but nevertheless if it's in the mall they must be legit right?

*squirms uncomfortably at latest purchase you made*

You head down the mall to the jean store.  They are having a clearance sale.  Name brand jeans are on sale, 50% off and only $50.  For that price those jeans better make you look 20 pounds thinner or at least get someone to buy you a few drinks at the bar for crying out loud. You need to get your money back somehow right? You set your drink down on the counter and dig for your wallet, you hand over your 50 bucks and leave with your new purchase.

You are half way down the mall when you realize you left your drink on the counter.  Dammit to hell, now you can't eat your cinnamon roll.

Next you head over to the store with all the latest tees, dress shirts and cute skirts and purchase a nice shirt/blouse/tank whatever it is for $20.  You think to yourself, "Twenty bucks is kind of steep, but after spending $50 bucks on those jeans, $20 is a real steal".  As you are leaving the store, magically there appears the "faux jewelry" display that you didn't notice when you walked in and you simply cannot pass up accessorizing your new wardrobe. So you end up going back to the counter and buying two necklaces because you simply cannot decide on the amethyst/cubic zirconium one or the heart shaped faux ruby colored one. Decisions, decisions, "Oh hell, I'll just get both" you say to yourself. So there goes $35 dollars more.  Because even though it's fake it's still not cheap. But your brain has been sucked into "Spend all my money" mode. Kind of like those kids in the movie "Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief" where they ate the lotus flowers and didn't want to leave.

For those of you not familiar with the lotus flowers, here is a 2 minute and 16 second snippet of that scene.



Your "lotus flower" was that cinnabon you picked up at the beginning of your trip to the mall. Remember that?

Now that you have all these bags in hand, and your fingers are now glued together from the icing on the cinnamon roll you bought an hour ago that you finally decided to eat, you head to the bathroom and upon entering the stall you realize that you have nowhere to place your bags, including your purse. That tiny hook on the back of the door isn't big enough to hold all of your latest purchases and the lock on the door is broken.

You could just go home and pee, but instead you try to navigate holding the door closed while squeezing the bag handles (which are sometimes smaller than spaghetti straps on a dress) clasping them tightly as though they are $100 bills and wiggle out of your shorts and undies so that you can hover over the toilet(because as we all know, no self-respecting woman sits on a public toilet, who knows who (or what) sat there last.) As you try to finish your business, your cell phone rings. You can't get to it without either a) dropping said bags to the floor or b) having an accident.  So you bypass the phone call and instead  hurriedly try and wipe and pull(shorts) as you lose your balance and the door smacks you in the head.

You lift your foot to push the button to flush and then you head back out, WASH YOUR HANDS(please!) and then go out to the mall for more money-spending madness.

By the time you are done you have bought three more outfits, a Hello Kitty Jewelry set for your niece's upcoming birthday, a mug for your mother, a "cute" tee for that niece of yours, and you signed up to win a new car. By the way, for future reference, don't ever do that. It is a telemarketers dream to get their hands on your phone number, address and email.

Unfortunately I found that out the hard way.

You head on out to your car.

Great....it's 4 hours later and you can't find it.  It's like an oven out there in the parking lot and you flag down a security guard in the hopes of him helping to save you from your plight. You hop in his little caddy and he drives you around the lot and you are listening to his Ipod music which includes lyrics that would make your grandmother blush. He finally finds your car, you thank him, give him a tip which he doesn't say thank you for and you head home.

You walk in the door, the house is still a wreck and that laundry pile from this morning is still staring at you from the floor. You're starving and now you are even more broke than before.

You place your latest purchases on your couch and then throw yourself helplessly exhausted down next to them and realize at that point...."Maybe I should have just done the damn laundry".