Sunday, July 7, 2013

It's Never Where You Need It To Be

I've been in this apartment of mine now for the past 15 months.

I have a dishwasher. Technically I have two.

Up until now the only dishwasher was me. However, the one that came with the apartment I have never, ever used.

You will find me rather odd, or perhaps weird for not using it when I tell you the reason.  You see, the dishwasher is on the wall where my bedroom is. That same wall is the wall where my lovely computer and cable box to the outside world connect.  My biggest fear is that the dishwasher will somehow backup or the pipes will explode, leaking buckets of water onto the other side of the adjoining wall, and my lifeline to the outside world will be gone...POOF....just like that.

I know it's pretty silly I have to admit.  I KNOW it's silly and yet I still can't believe I CAN'T just turn the damn thing on.

I did make progress though. Today I cleaned the crumbs that had fallen in there(not many) because the door to the dishwasher isn't shut all the way and occasionally when cleaning the counter-tops off a few "strays" will find their way in there.  I stared at the dishwasher and  almost took one of the sample packs of Cascade dish squares to throw in there(whatever they are called....I don't use a dishwasher how do I know the name?), and I almost loaded and started that sucker up.

But I bailed.

I came in here and I turned my computer on.

Because that's what one does in fight or flight mode.

I flew.

I'm sure it probably won't burst or backup or do any of the horrid things I think it will do.  Despite the fact my brain knows this, my body won't let me load the dishwasher.  It's like a magnetic field of Kryptonite. I know what Superman felt like in Lex Luthor's pool. I....Just....Couldn't....Move.... and shut that door and turn the knob to Normal Wash.

Perhaps my brain froze because of the term Normal there.

Who knows?

Maybe this Saturday I will try it. Maintenance will be around and the office is open, so in the event something blows up or sprays water everywhere they will come to my rescue. However, that still won't solve the problem of losing my connection to the outside world.  Unless they actually fly like Superman to my apartment door, or can turn the world's axis backwards in order to rewind time saving my computer from utter demise and me from utter despair before it happens.

*reads blog thus far and thinks to myself "Whoa Barb, you have wayyyyy too much free time dontcha?!"*

This is what happens when the kids leave me and go to play with friends.

So let me tell you what else is bugging me.

Today I was looking for a certificate that I need to turn into the State. It's for my certification for work or I won't have a job come July 18th. Anyway, I JUST GOT THIS PAPER in the mail, and gave it to my boss to make her required copies for her files the day after I got it, and I just saw the stupid thing when I was cleaning out my cabinets last Saturday.  Well, I went to get all my certificates together and finish filling out the form for re-certification and wouldn't ya know it I can't find it.

Know what I did find though??

Guess.

Go ahead, I have time...

No, I didn't find a $20 bill like I did last time I was in the same cabinet.
Nope, wasn't a winning lottery ticket.
Four free tickets to America's Got Talent or American Ninja Warrior for me and my kids when they come to Vegas (the show that is, not my kids, my kids are already here).  NOPE!

I found a gift card for Target from a very, very wonderful parent whose child was one of my first kids when I got my own room to teach in.  I got that card when her son moved up to the next room. Brought tears to my eyes.

Has that ever happened to you?

You know, you are looking for something you really need and you find something else that you could use just as much, but you still need the first item you were looking for to begin with?

I'd love to be looking under my bed for a pair of shoes and find Travis Fimmel under there, in his Viking outfit....  Look at him in all his yummy-ness ....Helloooooo Ragnar!.....( *raises eyebrows and grins*) with a  dozen roses and a plane ticket to anywhere but here. He could take us all to the middle of a cornfield to watch the corn grow and I'd be tickled pink ya know.  Of course I'd have to wonder how he got under my bed in the first place. Then we'd go to that cornfield, have a picnic and then head to Indiana Beach(which is really close to cornfields...literally) which is a kick-ass place to go for a vacation.


Of course that still doesn't help me find my certificate I need for tomorrow.  Because I'd like to mail that stupid form and all these stupid papers so I can get this over with already.  I like my job and I'd like to keep it for now.  But why does the state have us go through so much paperwork? There should be some main database so that when we take these courses it automatically gets sent to them. Hello, we are not in 1950 anymore...technology is everywhere these days.

My small rant is over. 

Back to talking about Indiana Beach.

This is my next big trip that I hope my kids and I can take.

Check it out:

Awesome Place!


Okay, my kids will be home in 10 minutes.  I need to leave my little online getaway here for now.

I still have to find that damn certificate!

I think I'll go and look for the pair of scissors my kids used last week and I can't seem to find and nobody knows where they are.(and just out of curiosity, why does one refer to scissors in the plural? I can't find "them" anywhere instead of I can't find "it". Why are scissors a pair? You only get one scissor in a package.  That will have to be my next blog I suppose. Cause my dear readers....I just ran out of time for today. )

I leave you with this:


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