It's a Tornado! No...It's a Hurricane!...No...It's Just My Life This Week

This photo totally is how I felt about my week.


I am utterly excited the weekend is here.

Perhaps I should say that with a little more enthusiasm:

I AM UTTERLY EXCITED THE WEEKEND IS HERE!!!

Truth be told, I'm lucky to have any excitement left in my body after this week I had. And next week, will not be any better at work either. Four people on vacation, and limited staff. I can hardly wait.

(yep, there was no enthusiasm in that statement)

So let me tell you about my week.

Let's see.

My daughter was taking a bath with tons of bubbles because she loves the bubbles, especially when it's mom's bubble bath stuff.  So I'm watching TV with the boys and I hear her scream at the top of her lungs "MOM, HURRY I NEED YOUR HELP!!"  I couldn't sprint fast enough for her as she screamed it a second time. I'm thinking there is a giant spider on the wall, or she got her toe stuck in the spigot like Henry in the book "Tub Boo Boo"(that book is hysterical, I have to find it again), my middle men and youngest kids all loved that book. If you have 8 minutes to spare, go ahead and read along with "Miss Nona" here, I  just found this:






Getting back to my poor daughter in the tub, I run into the bathroom and my oldest twin is close behind me I look and the tub is overflowing. There is my poor daughter in this wave of water and I yelled to her "FREEZE! DON'T MOVE!" Because the tiniest movement from her skinny little self made the water swish over the sides of the tub.

I reached over to the faucet and turned the water off. She slowly slid her big toe to unplug the drain.

Water was EVERYWHERE! So I grabbed a towel and began the cleanup. There stood her brother behind me and I told him "Hey out of here, she doesn't need an audience!" He was cracking up and did that smirk brothers do when someone does something they shouldn't do.

This was Monday.

Tuesday was even better. *insert sarcasm*

I was having a semi-good day, despite the fact that the two kids who seem to like to run amok on occasion have some conspiracy to put me into a body cast. I weaved and dodged, yet again, a near miss with my ass meeting the floor of the room.  I pulled something in my lower back and the pain I had last year when I lifted a child at work revisited me, and I winced as I tried to get out of my chair to get lunch ready.  That lovely pain lasted two days and my back still isn't 100%.

I am still undecided as to what to do with my job. Clearly I can't "just quit" but by the same token if I stay there any longer I'm liable to end up in a wheelchair...or worse. Also, I just keep thinking there has to be more to my life than this. I miss hanging out with MY kids at THEIR school, I miss having the luxury of taking them to the park, or to a dinner without having to worry about paying my bills.  I miss being happy. I mean don't get me wrong, I am happy sometimes, you read my blogs don't ya? But some days(more than others) I just get hit with a big fat case of "Crapsies"(Yeah, that's what I called it, the Crapsies, when you just feel like...well, crap!)

Hung out with coworkers at lunch and had to go and pay my insurance(we are still on Tuesday here). I hate being late on any bills, especially my car insurance. So as I'm backing out of my spot, I hear a loud crunch. I knew I hadn't backed out quickly and I didn't even go very far...sure enough I had hit the bumper on one of my coworkers car. I freaked. I couldn't believe it. Left a streak of paint from my van on her bumper. I wanted to jump in front of a bus at that point.

Seriously.

Nothing was going right for me...at all...this week.  Thankfully she was a good soul and was more worried about me than her car. I offered her my insurance card, which she declined to take. 

Thank you for watching over me whoever you are up there. Thank you for surrounding me with SOME good people.

So my kids were at their dad's come Wednesday and I'm thinking "Okay, I'm going to take a nice hot bubble bath and just let my worries fade away." I go to turn on the faucet, and flip the lid to the bubble bath and what do ya know, as I turn it over to pour...the whole damn cover on the lid of the bubble bath falls into the tub and it is gushing out of the bottle, and I swear to you it was like double bubble bubble bath in my tub.  (I knew at that point NOT to stick my toe in the spigot with the way my luck was running this week)

*if you didn't watch the video you won't get the point to that last sentence*

Thursday came around and I had a gut feeling a parent I talked to would not be happy with what I had said to her despite the fact I said nothing but positive things to this parent and the fact that I also told her "I am not a professional in this field. You need to speak to a professional about these types of issues." Anyway, my gut feeling was right on, because I heard it about from one of the higher ups at work that morning. Which thankfully I wasn't in trouble for it, just told that basically this person likes to smile to your face while holding a pick-axe behind her back.

And then the domino effect of bullshit just kept happening to me.

I can't really go into detail, I'd love to, but at this point and time I simply cannot.  Let's just say when there is a classroom of kids...anything is possible. I will just say that  I had a near miss with Poo(not the furry cute honey-eating one), I just about lost my hearing in my left ear, and my memory is far from perfect and causes brain farts in me on occasion which causes me to become forgetful and look like I'm just a total idiot.

True I lack common sense. I will be the first to admit that.  But I am NOT stupid, nor am I an idiot. I was at one point, pretty damn smart, I skipped a grade at one point in my life(which truth be told I wish I hadn't) and had fairly decent grades, but they grouped me in Junior High and let's just say all hope for me was lost. Because I felt like a failure by then.  I just didn't give a damn anymore and pretty much gave up.

Whatever.

Life choices. I blame myself. Forget parents, grandparents, or anything like that, it was me. Wasn't the guy at the 7-11 or the mailman who is to blame. It's all me. Don't ask me where this train of thought is going, I got derailed for a moment there.

My apologies.

Oh on a positive note about yesterday, I did manage to bring in some really awesome dip. I brought the dip in for everyone. One of my coworkers, (I shall call her Jane for the purpose of this blog post), who I really like to talk to came in later, and all the dip was gone. I was the one rationing it out, because if I didn't some of the women swarm in like vultures for the kill and don't even think about the other women that would like a taste or two and go in for seconds and thirds so barely anyone gets to try whatever it is that is spread out on the table.

So there was this plate someone had made and apparently forgot about with my dip and a slice of pizza on it. It was there almost the whole hour. So I told Jane, "Just go ahead, try some!" She wouldn't touch it. So I grabbed a chip and dipped it in that dip on the plate and gave it to her and she is eating it and next thing I know she starts choking.

I tell her to put her arms in the air and she does it, and me and the two other women in there are all laughing because we all don't know why you do that but apparently our parents did it too when you'd choked on a hot dog or burger at the family barbecue, remember that?

Or how about when mom's  first instinct when she'd hit the brake was to throw her right arm in front of your chest? Remember that?? She might slap the silliness out of you with the palm of her hand on accident, or maybe graze an eyeball, or slam her hand against your rib cage so hard to cause an imprint of her palm on your shirt and chest maybe, but hey... she inadvertently protected you in her magic field of the "Mommy Protection Bubble" so no other harm came your way from outside the vehicle. She was like Wonder Woman with her beaded or bangle bracelets clinking together as she moved her arm to save you,  but instead of the bracelets deflecting bullets they put up an invisible wall of armor. I know, because I'm here to tell you my mom did it several times and I lived to tell about it.

So, whilst poor Jane begins to regain her breath I begin to  lift my hands in the air and proceed to stand up and shake my booty and start singing "Everybody wave your hands in the air, shake your booty like you just don't care!" and dammit wouldn't ya know it, the coworker starts choking again from laughing so hard.


Thankfully she didn't turn blue, and thankfully we all enjoyed the rest of our lunch break. Overall it made up for all the crap of the week that not just me, but all of us endured. We laughed NON...STOP.  Talking about how much mischief we would all get into if we went out for drinks one night.

Good times.

Then today, Friday, which should be a fun day,  I had nothing but drama from the time my kids got ready for daycare and I got ready for work. We are leaving out the door and my boys are fighting...seriously fighting. First, I had to get in between an airborne size 12 shoe and my oldest twin.  Then my youngest twin is screaming at me, telling me he isn't going to call me the whole time he is with his dad. I said "That is okay. You can be angry, it's okay to be angry and use your words."

He fumed out the door and down the steps.

Apparently he had time to stew over his spiteful words and realize the error of his ways, because he hung around my van for a bit, not saying a word and then he walked over to me and wanted a hug and kiss. I told him I love him and have a good day. Ditto for his brother and I got into my vehicle with my daughter.

I had this cup that I got a while back from a parent at the school. I filled it with tons of ice and some strawberry kiwi Kool Aid. I haven't had Kool-Aid in forever. It was rather refreshing. I had one drink out of that bad boy and wouldn't you know it, when I turned onto the street from my complex, the $%#$%^Y (expletive) lid popped off and I had strawberry kiwi Kool-Aid all over the front of my van floor.

My poor daughter was in the back of the van as I cursed that stupid cup as I watched the Kool-Aid seep into my van floor and the ice rolling down towards the passenger side of the van, while I sat there and stewed myself saying "WHY DOES THIS SHIT HAPPEN TO ME! WHY CAN'T I GET A BREAK!"

I turned the air on, didn't care if my van overheated at that point, I was too wore out and too tired to care if it did. I  had a cell phone and money the two things one needs to call the tow company and grab a burger while you wait for them to come.

I finally get to work, and I walk into a room full of kids and their energy is at full speed.

I start counting down the hours til closing time and realize it's a long way away.

Owner came in and had a brief discussion with me about some parent issues.  I take it personally even if I didn't do anything wrong, somehow I always think she IS talking about me even though she says it isn't about me. I'm not only like that at work, I'm like that period. Guess some people call that being paranoid, but I just always expect the worst....so of course....it has to be me to blame right??? And of course that affected my mood the rest of the day.

Then I head to lunch and it's flying by faster than the speed of light.  I go back to the room and the other teacher goes on her break and I am left alone with 7 out of 18 very energetic and very wide awake children....during nap time.  I was trying to do the best I could and finally had to call the admins and see if they couldn't get me a little help to get me through until the one teacher got back. Good thing we have some backup because I couldn't have done it without her.  Thanks K, that's all I'll say.

The moral of my life story here is: Despite the storms and the winds that knock you down or blow you away, there is always a sliver of a silver lining to get you through to the next day.

I'm living proof to that theory.


Okay, I've rambled long enough. Not as humorous as my latest posts, but I promise tomorrow is another day and I need to go and enjoy my time alone here while I have it. Because remember that Kool-Aid I spilled? Well someone has to clean it out of my van tomorrow, and I guess that someone is me.


See ya!