When Idiot Drivers Grace Our Roads

Hello Tuesday.

Please be better than yesterday at least while I'm driving on the road today.

Last night I was driving home singing along to the music on the radio(yes, I do that) when I look to my left and out of nowhere this silver four-door coupe is literally inches away from me. The idiot in the car is either a) drunk or b) texting or c) blindly unaware of his/her intent to enter my lane without permission. I quickly dart to the right in order to avoid a collision with this stupid driver's car and they just keep on going.

Then they go back into their lane, pass me up, and still have their blinker on. They are driving all over the road and I'm yelling at this person as though they could really hear me, "You stupid ass pay attention!"

What is wrong with people?

All day yesterday I was finding people who were driving like idiots.

On our way to work and school me and the kids had some idiot in a truck literally on my ass, had I needed to suddenly brake, he'd be eating a doughnut with my daughter in the back seat. I was glaring at him in my rear-view mirror talking to him like he could hear me too. "You better back off asshat, I have my kids in the van. Lay off the lead loser."  Apparently he heard me, because next thing I know he's slowing down and darts around me to the middle lane. I just stare at him. He races to the light, which was red anyway so I don't even know WHY he was in such a hurry to get there.  I pull up next to him and wanted to say "Are you happy you got to the red light first you moron? Was it worth jeopardizing the health and safety of my children because you didn't leave for work on time?"

Stupid drivers.

There's another guy on a cell phone texting or Facebooking or something.  He's oblivious to the road around him. As he starts to go his hands are still on the damn phone.  If I was in a vehicle with back windows that rolled down I would have pulled up next to him and had one of my kids grab his phone and tell him "It's illegal to use  your phone while driving in this state idiot, pay attention to the road."

Okay, not really, but that would be pretty funny if we had done it.

People, you need to leave in enough time to allow for traffic, pedestrians, accidents. If you leave late or hit an obstacle on the road along the way, simply drive at a safe and normal rate of speed to get where you are going.

You are already late.

You will get there when you get there.  Preferably in one piece along with the drivers around you.

Your job site is not moving. It will still be there when you arrive. No matter how late you are, it will still be there.  That pile of papers in your inbox will still be there. That construction job your working at won't magically disappear because you didn't get there at 8:30 on the dot. So you get there at 8:45, it's okay dude, relax, the cost of my life, my kids life or yours is not worth any stupid amount you get on a paycheck.

I've seen to many near misses on the road lately. I've been a victim of some of these near misses on the road.

I don't like it.  Especially when my precious cargo is buckled up in back.

If you choose to drive like an idiot let me be clear about one thing.

You better not harm ME or MY KIDS. I am a very protective mama bear with my cubs and you do not want the wrath of a pissed of Polack breathing down your neck.  If you were in the wrong, I will sue you. Unless you had some type of seizure or passed out from a stroke, I WILL sue you.  I will take your fancy toilet seat covers, your dog, your fish, and all the money your insurance company will part with on your behalf. Your insurance rates WILL go up, you will be forced to go to court, or even worse jail especially if your stupid ass was drunk when you hit me.

So just remember that the next time you hop in that big fancy truck of yours and turn the key.  If you don't want to lose what's important to you, then you better not mess with what's important to me....my kids safety.

Got that?!

Good.

Now stop reading this amazing blog and go get ready for work.

I don't want you to be late.