I managed to get through yesterday.
I was on my lunch break, driving, and this song came on the radio and I was thinking about my cousin who passed away. When the line "Sing with me, if just for today, maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away" came around I just lost it.
Don't ask me why.
I was crying so damn hard.
So I'm trying to get myself together before I get back to work with my one cheeseburger and two chicken wraps my friend gave me money to get, and after my major cryfest I was okay again. Wiped my eyes, and took a deep breath and went back to work.
I don't know why I'm so upset. It's not like we chatted daily, although I really do feel like shit for never friending him on Facebook. It may sound stupid, but it's true. At least I could have been in his life a little more than I was.
So why was I so upset? I think first of all, it's because I worry about my aunt, being alone now in that big house by herself. I also think that the reality of how death can just sneak up on ya like a cat in the night and take you away in the blink of an eye makes one a little bit emotional.
Also, my cousin....was family.
I don't care if you are a 3rd cousin twice removed, or a friend, or a friend of a friend. When you know someone, and no matter if you haven't seen them in years, decades even, the pain of losing someone you had shared your life with at holiday parties, birthday parties and weddings can be so overwhelming on someone no matter how close or distant that relationship was.
He was my cousin, and I cannot fathom how someone as good-natured, and caring and giving could be taken from this earth so soon.
It doesn't make sense to me.
Why do all the good people get taken and the asshats and morons get to stay?
Who pushes the life/death buttons up there? I want them fired.
Seriously.
I have to get going now.
I have said my peace.
Will hopefully have a more uplifting blog this weekend, but for now, I had to share my thoughts.
My blog, my thoughts.
Despite the melancholy demeanor of this post I leave you with this:
1 comment:
You are allowed to cry. As much and as often as you like.
I still cry when I think about my brothers passing. And I will keep right on crying as often and as much as I choose too.
You should do the same.
€d
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