Today's Blog Post: Look at the Bright Side

My kids just got home from their last game.

I thought last week was their last game, but apparently I was mistaken.  I'm so glad the season is over, I am ready for baseball or basketball or something other than football for them to play. I get lost watching them out on that field and I don't even understand the scoring system and calls they make.

Many moons ago I watched football. I watched it because I was single and wanted to be able to look semi-intelligent when it came to discussing sports with men. It worked once, and I remember watching football with this nice-looking guy I met where I lived back then and it led to some pretty fun times between he and I in the form of a few beers, rounds of darts and lots of cuddle time at his place and mine.

Gee I miss him. He was fun to hang around with. Wonder where he is now?

Sorry, I got sidetracked. 

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, football. So my kids are no longer playing football nor do they want to for the most part. They wanted to do baseball, but as soon as I told my youngest twin it's kid pitch he was a no go for baseball.

Dammit, I should have kept my mouth shut.
Oh well.

He might change his mind over the next couple of months.

I hope so anyway.

I managed to get some time to clean while the kids were at their game. Then I headed to the grocery store.  It was "Sample Saturday" there. I managed to get a very tasty cracker with some summer sausage and cheese. I asked the girl(who was probably about 19 or 20) what kind of cheese it was.  She smiled at me and told me " I don't know."  To which I smiled back at her and said "Well dammit you should know you work here."

NO I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

What I said was "that's alright, looks good though," as I grabbed a toothpick and helped myself to the nice little sample sitting before me on the tray. I set the toothpick on top of the container of strawberries I placed in the cart and a girl was walking around with some confectionery samples. I asked her what they were and again, she apparently didn't know either. "I think this is a cherry danish."  I recognized the other one, it was a snickerdoodle, I'd know that sucker a mile away. It was a whole cookie and I was tempted, but some little kid might like it instead.

So I snagged myself an "I think it's a Cherry Danish" sample and asked the girl "Are there any drinks around here? Cocktails perhaps?"

She laughed.

I walked away and said thanks.

Headed off to the meat department and they were giving away samples there too in little white cups, didn't know what they were though, because some woman needed help and he put the tray behind the counter and went to help her.

She couldn't wait just five seconds for me to hit the curve near the meat/seafood department could she?  

Like I needed more calories in my body anyway after all the sodium and carbs I just consumed.

(as if I actually watch those like the health nut I should be)

They also had a guy who was sampling some type of rigatoni and meat thingy. I forgot what it was. It looked good, but my mouth was so dry after that danish the thought of more meat combined with pasta in my mouth did not sound appealing, so I graciously smiled and declined his offer.

Some guy doing inventory/ordering said hello to me. Asked if I had found everything okay and I nodded and then said "Where are you hiding the peanut butter?" They rearranged the whole damn store and for the life of me I don't know why. I finally, after a year of shopping there knew where everything was and in the event my kids had a meltdown I could shop in 10 minutes or less and have half a cart of product. I was like those poor souls on Supermarket Sweep.  Remember that show? I do. Always wanted to be on it. They have a newer version of the same damn show, just renamed it. Kind of like how shampoo companies relabel their product.  It is supposedly a marketing technique.  It's still the same shitty shampoo, just with a prettier label.

Whatever.

So I run into the same guy four aisles later.  He greets me again, and I think he was aware that he greeted me already, but instead of me making some smart ass remark like "Did I age since aisle 1?" or "Haven't we met before?" I just told him I was fine and found everything okay. 

I actually was looking for pickles. One of my students brought these "pickle packs" in his lunch. I searched everywhere for those damn pickle packs(i.e individual packs of teeny weenie little pickles in a container like the Mott's Applesauce containers for kids). I couldn't find them. I even asked the produce guy. Bless his heart, poor fella went to the back and came out with a bag full of mini pickles that were much bigger than the pickles in my mind which I was looking for. Again, my sarcastic side bit it's tongue. I won't tell you what I was thinking.

Ran into (not literally) a woman I knew from the school my kids go to.  I haven't seen her in ages. At least a year.  Since I got this job of mine, I haven't seen much of anyone from the school anymore; friends included.

I was going down the baking aisle when I spotted her and I said "HI!" and I could tell that look she gave me. That was the look I gave a mom at my boys' party this month when she gave me the same "HI! How are you Barb?!" and my mind went blank who the hell she was. I knew her face, just forgot her name and whose kid was hers. I didn't pretend to know her, I admitted defeat and just politely told her "I'm sorry, I forgot your name." She laughed and said it's been a while, and yes I got her name.

So back to the grocery store story. I finally explained where I knew her from and told her my kids names and she remembered me. We chatted briefly and then I don't know why I do this, but to avoid embarrassment or awkward silence, as soon as I talk to someone I haven't seen for a while about a common topic that makes me open my mouth to begin with and say hello, I quickly end the conversation and hurry away.

That probably makes them wonder more than the awkward silence would.

I'm working on that.

So now I'm just about done. Dammit if only I had remembered my list. I left it on the couch. I need to remember to write a list to remember my list when I leave.

Or something like that.

*yeah, I know none of that made any sense...try and stay with me here*

I get to the counter and begin the daunting task of unloading. "Holy hell, there's going to be a lot of bags to carry up a flight of stairs to my second floor apartment", I thought to myself as I got to the bottom of the cart.

Usually I watch them ring up the items, but I have to say I like this store for the simple fact they are quick, friendly and efficient.

She picks up the strawberry container and says "I don't know what this is."

OOOPS! Remember that toothpick from the sample earlier? Still sitting on top of the strawberry container. I apologized and she smiled and said "No worries, I'll throw it away."

Yes, I know my mother doesn't work there.

I was tickled pink when I handed her my rewards card and I watched the total go from 91 dollars and some odd cents to 78 bucks. She was still scanning a few more items, but for what I spent I got a grub for my buck that's for sure. $118.00 was my total at the end of the bill. That includes three nights dinners, lunches for the kids school week, lunch for tomorrow and dinner for tomorrow night(pot roast...yummy).  And I bought healthy food. No chips, dips or anything that would be considered icky, err...umm...except the Nestle quick that was on sale. I've never seen it that cheap. $2.50. Had to buy it.

Impulse buy ya know?

I head to get some gas for my van so I don't have the Monday morning drama pit we always incur after the long weekend. Kids fighting, who sits where, peeling them out of bed in the first place just to get them dressed and in the van on time, it makes for a very stressful Monday. So when we have to stop for gas on the way to school and work, it's just a damn headache.

So I nixed that in the bud real quick.

There was this older gentleman in front of me. He was from New York.

How do I know this? You may ask yourself.

Well, he shared it with the cashier. An older gentleman himself as well, and straining to hear through the plate glass window and the shitty speakers they have that make "Have a nice day" sound like "H-uve N- ICE- ay" and you just grin and smile at the person on the other side of that window.  They may have called you an asshole, but you won't know. Ever.

So the old man from New York couldn't get his gas to pump and I let him cut in front of me to talk to the guy behind the window again because in all honesty where the hell did I need to be anyway?

Seriously.

I was in no hurry.

So this man is telling the guy behind the window he is going back home. He said he hates it here. I told that man(the New Yorker) I wish I could go back home and how I hate it here too.   He asked why I couldn't. Without telling him my whole life's story and the fact that telling him my whole life's story would probably send him to an early grave, I simply said "I have children and their dad lives here and I am stuck here for 8 1/2 more lovely years." He looks at me seriously and says "Oh?...Separated are ya?" Again, no details I just said yes. Then I told him to have a good safe trip.

Know what he said to me?

"I drove myself out here and I'll drive myself back."

Guessing he knows the travel Gods, or Oz, or God, or whomever his maker of choice may be has already cleared him for takeoff so to speak and he's guaranteed a safe travel.

****************************************

I'm driving home and  of course my day would not be complete without forgetting something.  Damn that list I forgot.

I forgot butter.

I needed that for baking. The kids and I and a few of their friends are going to decorate Halloween cookies. I needed butter!

So I run to a mini mart, a Walgreens and wouldn't you know it, all of them are out of butter. What the hell people? Are the cows on strike? Is butter back in style? I just needed one damn pack of butter.

You would think this would have ruined my day.

Not so fast.

It didn't.

I went home and of course there is no parking directly in front or anywhere near my building. I have to park across the lot. You would think this would be something bad as well.

Nope.

As I was unloading my groceries, one of my older neighbors, very pleasant gentleman who is always singing or whistling a song and manages to always shout out a hello even when I don't see him first, yells across the lot to me.

"Need some help there Barb!?!"

I really didn't want to impose. I said, "Umm...no..."

And before I could get another word out he says to me "It's no problem I'm standing here waiting on my carpet to get clean let me help you."

He moseys over to my van and the gentleman he was with(who has a cane!) asks if my neighbor needs help helping me. My neighbor says "No, I've got this." Next thing I know as I reach the top of my stairs with the 10 bags I piled on my arms, the man with the cane comes hobbling over to my van and picks up the (thankfully light)bags with the Little Debbie Snack Cakes and paper towels in them.  My other neighbor helps him helping me.

I thank them.

Then I head inside. 

I'm going to have to share some of those baked goods we make tonight with my neighbors.

I am blessed.

Whoever says I'm not...BITE YOUR TONGUE.

I may not have wealth, I may not have a sexy body anymore, I may not even have a boyfriend or a vehicle that is reliable, but it still gets me to where I need to be.

For that I am grateful.


I have amazing children, who are healthy. I have amazing neighbors, no doubt.  I have a roof over my head and food on the table. I have clothes on mine and my kids backs and birds who I can afford to feed and take care of that sing songs and talk to me and my children on lonely days(and not so lonely days).

I may have been dealt a shit hand in life some days. But when when days like today come around I can't do anything but smile.

Yes, I can turn a completely sarcastic and silly blog post into a philosophical thankful post.

I wouldn't be me if I didn't, right?