Today was a busy day for me.
I was cleaning most of my morning and then a friend of mine was suppose to stop by with her kids. I texted and called her, but no reply. I didn't know if something came up at her house, she has a husband and kids and a life, so anything is possible. I had a gut feeling however, that she'd show up with the kids and when she did I was well into cleaning and making pizzas for my kids and my house was trashed. I was still in my pajamas and sweating profusely as I was removing said pizzas for my kids from the oven.
As she came in the door my kids are all elated they are here, me on the other hand, truth be told was not as elated. I hadn't showered, my house was a wreck and I just wanted to jump into the oven while the door was still open.
She asked me if it was okay that they stopped by.
I gave her a look and feigned a smile and said "Yeah, it's fine." What was I going to say?
Let me say for the record, I always welcome company...friends, family....no matter what. No matter what mood I'm in, usually after company arrives whatever mood I am in slowly dissipates.
I did however, as I write this blog tonight, contemplate what may have come out of my mouth if I were a real crazy bitch and told her, "No, it's not okay. Can't you see I'm still in my pajamas? I missed a date with my shower and my kids have been driving me batty all morning. So NO it's not okay, please exit from the door which you entered. Good day." (Picture frazzled hair and sweat pouring down eyebrows and cheeks as I stomp my feet on the floor and then jump up and down in a fit of panic and frustration....yeah, that won't happen....just a hypothetical with my whimsical imagination I have here)
That would be cold. That would be so rude, and quite frankly I've never ever heard someone tell someone "No, it's not okay to bring me cookies when I'm on a diet" or "NO it's not okay for you to call me at 4 a.m to tell me your boyfriend just broke up with you" or "NO, it's not okay to ask me to babysit for the fifth time this week because I don't feel good today and I got my period."
You're my friend/family whatever the case may be. We all will have good days and bad days in our lives. Sometimes our planned schedules don't mesh with our bodies schedules or life schedules.
Truth is, if my friend waited for me to have a good day, in reality, we wouldn't be having a playdate or whatever it's called until our kids were well into college. And then that would simply be a girls night out.
No kids.
I would do anything for a friend/family member. They may not be able to hear it in my voice at the time, or the look on my face, because maybe I just woke up, or maybe I had a fight with my ex, or maybe my life just sucks at the moment and I'm having a depressed "episode" of blah-ness. Whatever the case, that friend or family member that needs me called me for a reason. You can't sleep? Call me. You and the keeper of a boyfriend/husband/whatever broke up/wants a divorce/has a mistress and you need to cry into the phone(or even come over??) go ahead call or come by.
I have had several conversations with someone I care about. I will have several more too if she needs them. It's my family she lives with and although he is an adult there comes some days where she just doesn't know what to do. Their relationship hits bumps in the road, as do all relationships. I don't take sides. I listen to the whole story. I let them come to their own conclusions. I advise, if asked to do so, but I don't step on toes. But my point here is, she has texted/called at 5 a.m./7 a.m. 11 pm etc... I will be there NO MATTER WHAT, regardless of if I'm tired, or just had a cry fest myself, I will be there. I will be there for my six sons and my daughter until I take my last breath in this lifetime.
I WILL BE THERE.
Because that is what a friend/family member does.
A friend isn't there when it's convenient, they are there when it's important. And a REALLY good friend will bring chocolate, coffee/wine, and a good comedy over if it's a real drama moment need.
I got my shower in. I told her I'd be out in 5.7 minutes. We both laughed as she looked at her watch.
I felt much better after that too. We had a nice visit. I was glad after all the madness of emotions that swept over me soon faded with the water that washed me as it ran down the drain. I think her visit was more of a blessing than I thought it was. She put me in a better mood and we shared some good conversation and most importantly our kids got to hang out for a while.
So think about my day here next time a friend asks for a favor or wants to come and visit for a little bit. Those unexpected phone calls or visits may not always be as bad as you think they might be. You may think you are too busy, too tired, too annoyed, or too whatever to hang out or be there for that friend.
But in the end, that friend may have done you more of a favor than you'll ever know.
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