Not YOU Again!

This pretty much sums up how I feel at the moment: 

Yeah...that's right!

I just finished a semi-entertaining blog.

Wanted to go and bake and clean and do all these things today.

Not gonna happen.

See what happens when you make plans?

So maybe I'll just veg out on the couch and eat more junk food.

Yesterday I had salsa, chips, a TV dinner, cookies, two containers of individual chocolate ice cream with whip cream on top and I don't know how many glasses of soda.

*not all in one sitting either, over the course of about 4 hours or so...but still*

I knew my "friend" was coming for a visit.

I was hoping it wouldn't be so soon, but I knew She was coming.

I was weepy all week, irritated at work(more than normal), I was more confused than I normally am, and frankly I'm beginning to wonder if I should just donate my female parts to science so I can end this madness. Take everything...puhhhhlease.... my uterus, my ovaries and all my damn hormones.

TAKE THEM!!!!

I don't want them.

They serve no purpose anymore.

The baby factory is closed and is just a dusty old wasteland of unused parts.

So go ahead scientists cut me open and take it all out.

Maybe you can find a cure for someone, somewhere thanks to my female parts.

Maybe I will be able to finally lose some weight.

My female parts are probably about 8 pounds right there.

Another twelve pounds and I can be that sexy-looking 33 year old I was 10 years ago.

Why do women have to have periods anyway?

My daughter told me the other day she doesn't want hers when it comes.

I looked at her and said, "No woman does, but that's something you can't avoid sweetie. It's a fact of life."

The disappointment on her face made me hug her.

I remember being in 8th grade and wanting mine so bad because all my other friends had theirs.

Then I got it.

And I was pissed it hit when I had my 8th grade sock hop, and I wanted to dance with a boy who asked me, but I had such awful cramps I didn't want to do anything but sit in the bleachers, cry,  and wait for my mom to come and pick me up.

That poor guy probably liked me and felt rejected.

I liked him.

Now I'll never know.

 I couldn't very well tell him, "Well, Joe(not his real name) I am sorry but I am hemorrhaging to death over here and I think I may be giving birth as these cramps are making my stomach feel like someone is inside me twisting my insides out so no Joe, I can't dance with you now." 

I could have been married to him instead of dating all the stupid losers I dated over the years. We would of had our 21st wedding anniversary this year, our seven beautiful children joining us along with our Shitzu Dog named Apple and our cat named Trixie.

DAMN YOU FLO!

So thank you, thank you so much Flo for ruining what could have been a wonderful life for me!

I should be cleaning right now.

That was my plan after my last blog.

To clean and then bake and then relax the rest of the day.

YOU DID IT AGAIN FLO! YOU RUINED MY PLANS FOR A PERFECT DAY!

STOP COMING AROUND FLO! STOP IT RIGHT THIS SECOND!

If only it were that simple, and TA-DAH!, *(snap)* all the hormones, and weeping and moodiness, and eating like food is going out of style would just go the hell away.

I know some people are probably out there rolling their eyes and thinking "Why is she writing about her period?" or "That's a little personal don't ya think?"

Woman all have them. It IS a fact of life.

Like farting, and belching, and poop(there is a book about this by the way, a children's book, I've read it several times too you can find it HERE! )  and all that other stuff that people find so rude and/or taboo to talk about, its a fact of life.

We could pretend it doesn't happen and we can suffer in silence or die of embarrassment because of it.

Or we can laugh about it.

I feel a need to share my current dilemma with other women who suffer too and need a good laugh or two because they feel the same way about it. 

I'm going to talk about it and make fun of it and try to make the best of it until the next 5-7 days are over.

To all the women out there who are dealing with it too, here's some chocolate:





 and a snippet of the movie Serendipity. Go ahead dig into to that chocolate, because you'll work off half the calories crying at the end of that sappy movie(which I absolutely love by the way).




Or how about Sleepless in Seattle?




Another good flick to shed a few tears too and miss a special someone by your side.

*Here, let me hand you a tissue.  More chocolate too perhaps?*

Okay, time to run.

I really have to get something done around here.

Before my lazy hormones take over or I end up with fifty blog posts in one day.

Highly possible.

Just sayin'.


Check this site out(Hilarious!):
http://menstrualproblems.tumblr.com/page/2