Tuesday, August 26, 2014

When a Bond is Broken.....

Well now that the hoopla of my quitting my old job and getting my new one is over, there have been some pros and cons to the new job.  

I have attained not only some much-needed sleep around here, but managed to lose a friend in the process.

Not sure if I mentioned it in my last blog or not.  

It kind of bugs me, but here's the thing...this "friend" of mine clearly wasn't a true friend. Perhaps I was her friend of convenience. A friend only because we worked together.  I've been used before, wouldn't be the first time. I thought we were true friends though, because she did a lot of nice things for me and especially my kids and she never complained about them....ever.  She just was such a good person to us, and likewise I would reciprocate when I could. It's not just "any" person that I buy gifts for. There was another girl at work who I knew and she had a 1st party for her kid, and to be honest I wasn't very fond of the girl, but loved the kid. Cutie patootie he was. I was invited to the party. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go. Just because I'm invited doesn't mean I'm obligated, although it felt like it because the group of coworkers was so small and...well....personal. 

I didn't go.

I didn't get the kid a gift either.  I'm not mean, it's just we weren't friends. If I went around buying gifts for all the coworkers with kids birthdays, or anniversaries, or whatever comes along I'd be broke.  

Now friends are a different story.  When my family is taken care of, friends come next in line. If they need a kidney, mine is theirs(unless family got it first of course). I'll buy, sell, trade anything to help them out.  This friend of mine is that friend(or WAS that friend I suppose).  This friend and I had so many fun times together, and we laughed and cried and yelled and got angry, but through the worst of times, we still managed to hang in there and take care of each other and have a pretty good friendship.

Then I quit my job.

Then all hell broke loose.

Then she wouldn't return my calls.

I didn't DO anything to her personally. I quit my stupid job.  It wasn't really all that stupid, it just got stupid towards the end of it, if it wasn't getting stupid I'd be stupid for leaving in the first place. Ya know??

Anyway, it's kind of like if you wanted to go out on a date with your husband, the kids are driving you crazy. You asked your friend to babysit that night. She says sure. Next thing you know she calls you up an hour before date time as you are squeezing into your control top, rubber-band like pantyhose to tell you she got a date with the hot looking UPS guy from work. Expletives are flowing through your head. You want to scream.  You say nothing.

There is awkward silence after you tell her it's fine.*really, it's not*

You hang up.

Days go by and you're still fuming. You're friend on the other hand calls you to say how sorry she was that she bailed on you. Her and this guy are getting married and you are the matron of honor. Her UPS boyfriend has a teenage daughter who can babysit for you. 

IN the end...everyone wins. 

Because in life, nothing is guaranteed.

And when an opportunity presents itself, you have to take it.

My kids are the one's who I am doing this for.

NOT ME....

My KIDS.

They will always come first, and the huge sacrifices I am taking right now, will pay off by next year. It was the scariest thing I ever did taking that big gamble quitting that day. But I'm doing this for my children and to better our lot in life here.


But unfortunately my friend doesn't see this.

All she (probably) sees is that she was left to work with someone who she doesn't really get along with. I don't know how long she had to work with that person, because she never called me back.

It's been a week now. 

I've stopped calling her and even deleted her on Facebook.

I don't have time for this right now, other pressing issues are in my life in the moment. I've already cried, gotten ticked myself and just let it go.

She has my number. She knows where I live. Send me a fruit basket, send me a fruit basket with moldy fruit to really let me know how she feels.

Something.

I tried.

That's all I can do.

I will still be here, if she wants to talk. I don't hate her and I sure hope she finds happiness in her life.

I hope she got a big fat raise because of me leaving. I bet she will or has already.  

That was her teenage babysitter....get the analogy there?



;

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Barb,

Happy Ed does not go on vacation.
He does get insomnia from time to time.
Never to happy with under 6 hours.

So you taught kids, so what are you up to these days?

Eb says Hi.

Barb said...

Happy Ed glad to see he's gotten some sleep. That last comment had me a little perplexed there.

I had to reread it a few times to see if I missed an underlying message.

Say hi to eb for me.