Positivity and Giving Thanks

I'm back.

I was sitting here watching TV and caught the last half hour of that movie "You've Got Mail". Cute movie, old movie, one of the classic romantic comedies of the 90's. It was the 90's I think.

I opened up my Smirnoff Cherry Lemonade frozen thingy. It's quite tasty and after this blog I'm heading to bed. I knew it would make me tired, because I'm a lightweight and I don't drink but maybe two times a year. I use to have Margarita weekend birthdays, but  I stopped those about 3 years ago. Probably because my birthday hasn't been on a weekend.

I've been having such introspective thoughts this evening, even more so after opening my frozen drink.

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I've been busy studying Buddhism. I find their philosophy very intriguing. They have a positive spin on even the most dire of circumstances. I like it. It's refreshing. I have adapted some of Buddhist teachings in my own life. I do a meditation every morning that a friend of mine told me about. And if I can't do it in the morning, I chant it to myself at work, or do it in the evening.  I try to stay positive no matter what happens. I give thanks for every little thing. I try to keep peace about me no matter what happens in my day.

For instance, without going into detail there was a situation with someone me and a friend of mine had to deal with. Normally, I would have gossiped and talked ill of this person out of sheer frustration. Instead, I told my friend that I had listened to my meditation music and nothing was going to ruin my day. Not even this person's negative attitude. She stormed out of the room we were in and slammed the door behind her. I wasn't going to let her mood control mine. I understood her frustration, and while it wasn't warranted in the moment, she went her way and I continued with my day.

End of story.

There is also another person I deal with frequently. An "acquaintance" of sorts. This person use to get to me with her superior persona. But lately, I am finding that the more I extend peace her way, her words don't get my goat so to speak anymore.

Am I growing spiritually?

Perhaps.

Not sure.

I'm just enjoying this little bit of quiet in my head and peace flowing through my body.

It's a pleasant change.

Now if I could just pass this peaceful place onto my children, our lives would be good. I know it would take something like a miracle for my kids to be more peaceful and less stressful and angry, but I believe anything is possible.

Including my kids behaving a little better.

Not PERFECT.

Just better.

I don't know what  I believe to be honest. Is there a God isn't there a God? Or a Goddess? Or some great and powerful Oz?  I do know for a fact that someone is watching over me, maybe it's my ancestors or a guardian angel, or my ancestors who really are guardian angels.

But there are so many variables to having faith in any one certain deity, I just can't be sure.

So I just sit down every night, or whenever I have a complex situation or even if my day is going good. I will say, "Whoever is listening, give me a sign," or "Help me out here please, I'm lost."  I usually find the answers or a blessing is given to me and I give thanks for that blessing.

It's kind of like anonymous donors.  Someone gives a gift to a charity. The charity publicly thanks them. The blessings of donations continue to flourish. It could be from the same anonymous donor, or a known donor but giving thanks, in my opinion anyway, is like circling the universe with a warm hug of love.

And when one feels the love it is often reciprocated.

Even on a bad day.

So, that's my philosophy on philosophy of  Buddhism and spirituality in general.

I don't like the word religion, it's too constricting. The word Spirituality, however,  leaves the door open for other belief systems to embrace your beliefs and join you.

Does that make sense  to you?

It does to me.  

Okay, I'm going to go for now. Yes, this is my three blog limit for the day.

It's only 9:30 here and I am so tired.

Too much thinking and too much drinking makes Barbie really tired.

Have a lovely night/day/morning wherever you are.

Thank you for stopping by.

I'll be back tomorrow I am sure.

Until then........Breathe....





~Magickal Graphics~

Santa Has Left The Building

What a Christmas Eve we had yesterday!

There was no snow, of course, but it still was an amazing day. Despite the fact all four of us wanted snow more than anything and my youngest twin kept saying, "If we had snow that would be the most awesome gift ever!"

Speaking of gifts I got the most amazing gift from my children. I got a little bear with a santa hat and bag that opens to put candy in. Bless their little hearts they all pitched in to get me this little stuffed bundle of joy.



We went into the store, got our last minute items for dinner and we were out in the parking lot. My son says to me, "MOM! WE FORGOT THE EGG NOG!" I was walking towards the van, and was going to just stop at Walgreen's but then I realized that would require another trip getting out of the van for the kids(seating arrangements... they all have to sit directly behind me in the middle row for some reason I didn't want to hear it) so I just decided to go back in. I literally ran to the back of the store and got the egg nog, thankfully some nice couple there informed me that the bigger size was on sale and cheaper than the size I had in my hand, I thanked them and ran back to the cashier almost running into some woman's cart in the process. I smiled and apologized and kept running like my ass was on fire.

Paid for the egg nog and left just as quick as I could.

We all had an amazing dinner of turkey, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes with gravy, crescent rolls and some spinach and artichoke dip for an appetizer.  I even bought them a two-liter of soda for the special night. And I finally remembered the damn egg nog.

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I wanted to stay up well past midnight, but barely made it. See, Santa hadn't made his visit yet. I passed out on the couch and awoke an hour later to use the bathroom and lo' and behold Santa happened to visit at that exact moment. *wink*  I went back to sleep only to awaken around 7:30 and nudged my kids up to see the gifts below the tree.

Score!

Another year with Santa in our home.  I don't want my children missing the magic of Santa. If I could make them believe in him well into their twenties my job as a mother will be a huge success.

However, kids usually stop believing around 11 or 12 and then Santa no longer visits. I told my kids "If you don't believe why should he leave you gifts?" My youngest twin son said to me "Mom, if there's gifts under that tree tomorrow, I'll believe in him." 

My daughter still believes. We tracked Santa all night long on that Norad site. He was in Uruguay, Barbados, Ecuador, Detroit, then some how he back tracked to Asia somewhere after Detroit. I don't understand Santa's travel plans, but as long as that fat elf lands in our home each year I don't care how long it takes him to do it. 

Yes, my children may come across my blog sometime. So remember kids, next year you need to make sure you continue to believe.  Or all you'll be left with on Christmas morning is a big fat bag of coal, or...perhaps...reindeer poop on the patio to clean up.

That wouldn't be fun to play with now would it?

I still have to go get more batteries. I don't want to venture out today. I thought I would actually have a day where I wouldn't have to drive ANYWHERE. No such luck. My daughter got a Hello Kitty Bubble blower and it requires two AAA batteries, you know the ones that aren't that common in kids toys these days.  I had double A's just no Triple ones.

Ugh.

And I have a rant here. A mini-rant that is. I won't make this a long-winded rant because, well, it's Christmas. Don't want the scrooge in me coming out en mass. Okay, so we open the kids gifts last night, wouldn't ya know it, stupid screw on the back to get the batteries in the boys' helicopters and R/C cars require a screwdriver that only a gnat would use. 

Who thinks up this stuff?

Who is sitting there, putting these toys together and says "Hey, let's make screws small enough on kids toys that even a kid can't unscrew them. Let's tighten them as tight as possible so that when the parent tries, well, they are...literally...screwed! Ha ha ha ha ha!!" They laugh in their little tiny shop of madness as they begin to devise their next plan of those plastic restraints that they put on toys so tight that you need a chainsaw to break them open.

Seriously.

Who do I contact about this issue?

And for the record, twisty ties were meant for garbage bags, loaves of bread and tying bird cage doors closed, NOT for a kid's toy.

My son practically had a meltdown...scratch that...he had an actual meltdown last night. Couldn't get the battery cover off the back of his car. We tried a knife, we tried scissors and we even tried a pairing knife they got from Halloween at their dad's house.

No luck.

Finally the youngest twin opened his car battery compartment with...get this...a Capri Sun Straw.

I kid you not.

This is a true story. One you may not find on Snopes, but it's the truth. And if snopes wants to find out if it worked they can come on over and my youngest twin will show them.

So after feeding the oldest twin some chocolate to calm him down while he waited for his younger twin to help him, we finally managed to make his car run.

Then came the helicopters.

I nearly lost an eyelash!

Well, not really but I came pretty damn close to losing one.

Those helicopters were all over our living room last night.  Remember, I am in an apartment, not a house with cathedral ceilings mind you, but a small apartment that barely fits what furniture we have in it. So picture if you will two boys trying to fly their helicopters around this place. I kept on reminding them I had dishwater in the sink I had to drain with a pan soaking so they better be careful where they fly those things or we'll have a drowning on one of their missions here.

We had two near misses.

And then I had to deal with my boys fighting over which channel they wanted to use. There was A, B, and C. Of course for whatever reason they both wanted B. I was ready to have them flip a coin but they finally stopped yelling at each other and the oldest twin gave in and went to C. Kudos to you son.

My daughter, meanwhile, is quietly enjoying her toys on the living room floor. She didn't have a care in the world. She was in her own little world of make believe and I sat down on the couch behind her and she hopped up next to me, barking poodle and unicorn in hand and we just sat there watching A Christmas Story. She told me Merry Christmas and said she loved me. I told her Merry Christmas and that I loved her too.

Then they all told me how this was the best Christmas Eve ever.

That made me smile.

Because when you're a single mom, that is the biggest worry the whole year round...the most pressing question in most single parents minds are, "Will I be able to afford Christmas this year?"

Somehow, someway I did it. And this year I won't be depressed like I was last year, because this year I made it financially to be able to pay my bills AND take care of Christmas.

I am blessed.

I am forever grateful.

We definitely have a guardian angel watching over us.  And we definitely are rich no matter how many coins are on the bottom of my purse before pay day. Because although I am not rolling in money or material things, and I drive a van that isn't always reliable, one thing is for sure, me and my little family here have all the love and joy a family could ask for.  It's not the material things that make us rich, but the love we all share with each other, especially around the holidays.

Despite the occasional madness, my children and I have the best gift ever....we are all together for the holidays and every day after.

If only I could say that about the rest of my children.

Maybe....some day...that gift will come too.

Merry Christmas!