Thursday, June 19, 2014

HE Is There


This is probably going to be one of my quickest posts in my blogging history.  
I have about ten minutes or so to get this out there, so let's see where this goes.
My post today is about the one being in my life who has gotten me through my worst days, even when I didn't know he was there....
GOD


Don't fall off your chairs now.
Those of you who know me via my blog here, know how angry and against God I was for the longest time; a very long, long time.  But he is there.  Little did I know this, but he is there. 
Like a child who throws a temper tantrum and sent to her room without dessert, I was so rebellious and angry that I did everything I could to NOT believe that God was there.  
Then the turmoil of last week hit. 
And a friend of mine from work for the past few weeks has been talking to me about her church. And what did it for me finally was in the midst of combing out my daughter's hair and in my deepest darkest angered moment I said to my daughter, "See, how could there be a God? What God would do this to us?"  My daughter, in her tiny 9 year old voice says to me, "Mommy, Susie(not her real name) at school said that's the devil."  I looked at her and rolled my eyes.  I did, I rolled my eyes. 
But then she said it to me again when we were talking about all this later in the evening.  God spoke to me through my daughter and her friend.  
So I listened.
Every child has to be punished, or given a wake up call of some magnitude....hit rock bottom I suppose. My rock bottom wake up call was the infestation of massive proportions and the drama that unfolded because of it last week.  My boys were fighting non-stop. My life was so overwhelmed with problems that I couldn't see straight.
Then I said one night, when I was alone combing out my hair of those smarmy little things, I said, "God, please help me. I am so sorry, please God help me get rid of this. Protect my kids and me and help me please."  
I was sobbing profusely in my bathroom.  
The next morning I went to church. I was so excited to be going with that friend of mine. I still felt like a leper with the critters in my head, but God would protect those around me. As it turned out, my friend and I found a seat, in the front of the church with many chairs empty around us.  So all were protected. I prayed and I held back the tears that welled up in me from so much exhaustion as I listened to the music and the sermon. 
Then, we headed to lunch my friend and I. After lunch I went home and did my usual routine....cleaning laundry, doing dishes, vacuuming and combing out my hair. As I was combing it out, all of a sudden I hear a crack of wood and then BAM! my chair falls onto the bathroom floor. "Really? Really??!!!" I was so upset again. I went to put a hair tie in my hair and the damn thing snapped. 

Brand new hair tie.

Snapped!
Why???!!!

 I hit a dark spot in my life. I was at an all time low. Thoughts were swirling around in my head, that surely were the devil....I felt like my life had no meaning or purpose anymore; I was single with 3 kids left at home, broke as could be, and had a head full of evil nasty bugs that would not leave me alone.  Why oh why do I even bother anymore??
I went out on the porch and this neighbor of mine, about 25 or so, lives downstairs and was outside. He saw me, asked how I was and I said I had a shitty day. Told him why. Told him what happened and said, "And the ironic thing is, I went to church today. First time in 2 years that I went."  He told me, in no uncertain terms, "That's the devil. He knows your heart and so does God. Have faith, your kids will be fine, you will be fine, just hang in there."

I felt so much better.  
Like someone upstairs(God) was watching over me. He spoke to me through that young man. 
So now I'm still standing. Trying not to worry, because all worry does is stress one out. I'm listening to some very good preachers speak the word of God and I'm here to say that God does speak to you if you just stop and listen.  
Funny thing...I saw a license plate at the pharmacy the other day that said "his plan". Talk about a sign of heavenly proportions.
It is God's plan. 
It's all in his hands and I just have to be patient. 
As my boss told me, praying to God and knowing God doesn't make it easier, and that is so true. But you give it all to him, and he will take care of the rest. 
This has been a little longer than ten minutes writing. But it feels good to share it. And I have some spare time, just tried to give myself a bit of time before I had to leave to blog here. 
Sharing this video of this man who I saw on TBN last night as I was going to bed.  He's hilarious.  And although this isn't the segment that was on last night, this is a good one.  Hope you get as much laughter as I did listening to him speak. 

He is a Godly comedian who gets the bible across in a hilarious way.

Have a good day!

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