She's Gone and I'm Happy

The Beast is gone!


It was a bittersweet moment watching this guy tow my van. A lot of memories with my kids in that van over the past seven years it has been ever so loyal to me. Despite the few breakdowns it had, the overheating, the stalling, the brakes going out, and the time I sat on the side of the road because my gas ran out and the gauge was broken so I was unaware how low it really was as I sat on the side of the road, hood up and not one person out of the 234 vehicles that passed by me that day(yes, I was so bored I counted the cars) in the blistering 110 degree heat that summer day, this van had a lot of good times attached to it.

I drove my son, who is now 22 in that van when he was just 16 years old. I picked him up many a night well into midnight in that van. I remember going for my TB test for work and stopping at Walgreen's parking lot where I use to pick him up from the bus stop...and I cried. I remembered him sitting in that passenger's seat with me and talking about his evening.

I remember taking my kids to see Santa in that van when my two middle men still lived with me. Trips to doctors and school functions all are memories in that van. Trips to picnics and summer days at the splash park with my middle men and the other children of mine.

Then there are some not so nice memories that I'd much sooner forget than rehash that happened with the van.

I'm glad she's gone, but I will miss her somewhat.

It's a new beginning now. A new car a new lease on a better life for me and my kids. New memories to make, new things to come into our lives, new, positive days ahead.  I'm trying to stay focused on the good things that are to come and trying so hard not to think about my positive bubble popping.

Because I tend to do that. Good things happen to me and I always wait for the bad things to follow directly behind it. Every time I find myself doing that, I stop that negativity train in it's tracks and focus on the good things I already have:

A job for starters: Granted some days are somewhat drama-induced and stressful, but for the most part I like what I do. It's fun. It's fulfilling and it's a paycheck.

A new running vehicle: Which will get my children and I safely to our destinations, not to mention it's a pretty sweet looking ride too.

My health and my children's health:  Yes, there are some days that I wish I could not feel so tired or have aches and pains that I never even knew existed in my twenties. But I can still walk, talk, hear and see. I'll take my blessings where I can get them.

A place to live:  Granted, this isn't "home" to me, but it's a place to lay my sometimes weary, achy self when I need to.

Food on the table:  Probably the biggest blessing for me and my kids, who some days could eat me out of house and home.

I'm procrastinating at the moment. I should be getting the tune up done on my car, but I'm sitting here instead. I needed a brief respite from the busy-ness of my morning. Yes, busy-ness isn't really a word, but oh well.

I had a good week overall.

Now I need to get going. It's going to be a couple of hours for my car to be tuned up.  And I'm going to grab a bite to eat while I'm waiting then take the long walk back home.

Thankfully it's a nice day out today.  67 degrees for the high.

I just don't feel like leaving my apartment. Guess I'll clean it while I'm waiting on my car to be done.

I'll be back later I'm sure.

But until then....have a great day folks!