Thank goodness it's Thursday. I can't wait for the weekend, it's going to be busy but a fun busy around here. I'm taking my kids out for some fun stuff this weekend, and then Sunday I am going to let them have a sleepover with a friend of theirs at our place. Monday we were invited to dinner at a friend's home and my kids were so excited when I told them the news.
Good times good times.
I had a brief moment of sadness this morning. It's my granddaughter's birthday and I can't be there with her to celebrate. I want so much to see that little bundle of happiness. She turns two today. I miss her so much. I want so badly to just hop on a plane and go see her. If only I could do that. I was balling my eyes out when I posted her pic this morning on my Facebook page with birthday wishes for her. I wanted to call her but I don't have her mom's new number. I'm sure I'll talk to her eventually it just won't be today. Her momma is really busy and I know how hard it is to juggle being a single mom with work, housework, taking care of kids and everything else that comes along.
I had a fairly good week at work. Actually it was a good week for the most part. My two year anniversary is coming up on Monday and I feel the desire to bake something to celebrate this momentous occasion. I talked to my boss and I felt really good after our little chat. I never know when to talk to her about things, because she is such a busy person and I don't know how she does it. We have a couple of campuses and she is constantly going from one to the other to the other. If you want to stay thin...own a business. Forget diets. If you suffer from insomnia own a business. Because I don't know when my boss actually sleeps.
Anyway, I had a pretty good day yesterday. And tomorrow is Valentine's day and I have to make sure all our little friends have their Valentine's Day bags they decorated lined up and ready to go for their gifts. They turned out really cute. We also made some cute puppies out of hearts yesterday and those are really, really adorable. I'll have to post a pic on my blog here before we take them down. I was giggling at some of them, because where the ears should go they had the eyes glued, and where the eyes were suppose to be the nose was. I love it. I don't tell them how to put it together, I just make a sample and let them do their own thing. It is, after all, their art not mine.
So with tomorrow being "Single's Awareness Day", ahem, I mean, Valentine's Day a coworker of mine and I were talking about that a few days ago. I told her I'm not even bummed about it. To me it's just another day on the calendar. I won't lie, the first year I was single, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I cried.
I won't lie here.
But each successive year it got easier and easier to be single. I told my coworker, "Look at us(she's single too), we can watch whatever we want on TV, we can sprawl out all over the bed, eat whatever we want to eat whenever we want to eat it, go anywhere we want to go and our money is really OUR money." Not to mention, there is no arguing over the way the toilet paper roll should be put on the holder, or if we forget to put the cap on the toothpaste or not.
It's a beautiful life....singledom that is.
That's not saying there aren't some nights I miss cuddling with a nice fella. But I have two ten year old fellas right here and a daughter who I can cuddle with if I need a few extra hugs on a good or bad day or vice versa. It's not so bad.
Really.
Life is okay for now. Actually life is good. And to add the drama or obligation of a committed relationship to a man at this point in my life, just doesn't seem feasible right now.
Maybe when I'm fifty, and my kids are older and I am wiser and hopefully make better choices when it comes to giving my heart away.
But for now, I'm content with singledom.
I enjoy time spent with my babies. I enjoy lounging around in my jammies on a Saturday morning, coffee on my desk blogging or playing games online or heading out shopping for a thing or two here and there. It's not so bad really.
So for all of those folks out there who are pining away looking for that perfect Mr. or Mrs. "Right", or Mr. or Mrs. "Right Now", hang in there, be patient and enjoy your peace and solitude. It really isn't as bad as you think being single.
Take on the perspective of the glass is half full vs. half empty and I guarantee it will help you greatly in surviving the single years.
For all my fellow single souls out there, this is for you(love this song):
3 comments:
Hi B,
I gave up looking for "Miss Right" years ago.
It's a trust issue really.
After having my heart cut out with a spoon, through my back, I have "Baggage."
Why a spoon you ask?
Because it hurts more.
Why through the back you ask?
Showed her lack of respect, couldn't even look me in the eyes while she did it.
But that's not the point.
That's my Daemon to slay.
My Valentines are spent thinking of those women who were so kind to me. The women who were generous with their time. Or their ability to make me laugh. Or to snicker at me when I'd tear up watching a 'chic flick.'
One girl I shared a house with, nothing ever even came close to happening btw. She would "Borrow," (and I use the term loosely) my T-shirts & socks to sleep in. I asked her once, "Why don't you share a house with another girl." to which I was informed, "No way. Bitches borrow my stuff." Oh the irony.
Twenty years later, she still makes me smile. Even my X. There were good time with her too.
Really that was my fault. My Daemon. I needed her more then she needed me. I was just too young and inexperienced to recognize it. Clear as day now though.
But I learned. I dated several wondrous ladies. But I always needed them. They always needed someone else. So I let go. It was never easy. But it was always the right thing to do.
I still think about every one of them. And I prey they are all doing well. They are great ladies. I'm glad I knew them. Pleasant memories, they gave me that gift too.
Think about the good ones B. Let the bad ones think about you.
It'll be a great Valentines tomorrow. I'm spending it with some wonderful ladies. They make me smile.
Have a great Valentines Day Barb.
And a great weekend with your family.
Ed
Hello again B,
To be clear, I'm spending the day with the memories of some very Dear Friends from my life.
2:47 AM. I guess you could say I've started thinking about them early. I watched an old movie, "Can't Buy Me Love." It was a favorite of one of my friends. It makes me smile after all these years.
Enjoy your day Barb,
Ed
I had one of those friends like you had. We also lived together for a brief six week time period.
Friends...best friends to be exact...nothing more. We even slept in the same bed, how's that for willpower???
I loved that friend of mine more than anything. He was my go to guy when I had a meltdown and a friend I could share good times with as well. We laughed and cried together so many times. We had some really amazing times together. He was my buddy, my bestie.
I miss him.
He was also a train wreck of drugs and behavior of a playboy. I tried so desperately to help this guy. He didn't want it.
Broke my heart. He had a kid too, and an ex wife who was absolutely amazing. Gave that all up because of a fix here and there that he needed, criminal behavior shortly followed that.
So sad.
And we had this connection that I never had with any other friend(or family member) I knew when he was in trouble. I "felt" it. Kind of weird, but true. Someone once told me that is what twin flames(i.e. platonic soulmates) feel.
He was indeed my soulmate. I missed him really bad, it was hard on me the first few years, but over time I thought about him less and less.
Now he's just someone I remember when a friend and I talk about "the old days". A blip on my memory radar more or less.
So yeah, I get where you are coming from with your sock and shirt borrowing friend there. I think we all have had a true friend like that of the opposite sex at least once in our lifetime.
I was blessed to have two of those types of friends in my lifetime. I wrote about the other one somewhere around here. Not sure where though.
Have a great Valentine's Day Ed. I'll be back this weekend sometime I'm sure.
See ya! :)
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