2014....Please, Please Be Good To Us

Well another year come and gone.

I'm happy to see last year move out of the way. I just hope this year is a bit more fulfilling than last year.

I'm not going to talk about resolutions or any of that stuff. I don't believe in making them. To me they are a waste of time and make what could be a great year, turn out to be more of a disappointment to someone because they failed at whatever it was they promised themselves they would do. 

*waves hand around*

Whatever.

So, we had a very crazy New Year's Eve here. I was hurting so bad, I had this pain in the left side of my chest, what felt like pinching and tenderness near and in my lower rib cage. It was driving me nuts. I wasn't feeling that well to begin with and then this happened. It was intermittent, would stop then start up again. I was furious to say the least, because I had my kids, I wanted to have our little party. I had plans to have fun with them, not be Ebenezer Scrooge, or the Grinch when it came to having fun. 

 

I bought all the fixings to make a good party like we do when we are together; hats, blowers, poppers, and we baked individual cakes that my kids and I decorated which are seen below.

 

 

This one is my daughter's cake.

 

Next, is my oldest twin son's cake:

 

 

 And finally, my youngest twin son's cake:

Needless to say you can see where a possible massive sugar high could come from.  They didn't eat all this at once. I let them each have a sliver of the cake at the stroke of midnight, but combined with snacking on the candies while making these cakes, and the juice, and the soda...well...this was a disaster in the making.

Fun at times, but a disaster in the long run nonetheless.

 

 But my oldest twin wanted nothing more than to antagonize everyone, I think he had a tad bit too much sugar in his system. It was like he was hearing-impaired or something because every time I asked him to stop he just kept on doing what he was doing without regard to the words coming out of my mouth or his screaming brother and sister to stop. I was trying so hard not to be grumpy despite the pain in my body.

 

I finally had enough and about 11:15 I went to lay down on the couch. 

 

The party was over. 

 

I wanted to cry.

 

I was like Frankie Heck from The Middle, where she wants the perfect Christmas(or maybe it was Thanksgiving I forget now) and nothing is working out like she had planned it to.

 

All I wanted was to have a fun night with my kids. We had fun from 9-11:00, played charades, did the cake thing, ate some snacks, had pizza, started a game of Sorry! but it just got to be too much for me and I was done.

 

I laid down for a bit, and then about twenty to twelve I got up, got the sparkling peach/apple juice ready to go in our holiday glasses and gave all the kids their blowers and poppers. At three minutes to midnight, our neighbor apparently unaware it was still last year, blew off the most spectacular fireworks we'd ever seen. We all ran out to the patio to see these huge, ballpark stadium sized fireworks directly above our apartment. The kids were all yelling, "COOL!" Then we watched the news folks count the time down and at midnight we all yelled Happy New Year, at which point more fireworks were shot into the night sky compliments of the same neighbor.

 

Hugs and kisses soon followed between us all.

 

I then apologized to all of them this morning for being so crabby and grumpy and just a party pooper last night and I told them we can play some more games later this afternoon. So they went out for about an hour and a half after they got up(at 11:30) and then I made lunch and we tried, yet again, to play some more games. Once again my oldest twin decided to annoy and say things to instigate some arguments with his siblings and I told him to stop. It wasn't as bad as last night, but bad enough that I almost called the game again. 

 

Then he stopped.

 

 Not sure what is going on with him, for as much as I work with other kids I'm not quite sure how to help my own kid here. 

 

Sad, isn't it?

 

I'll figure it out somehow.

 

Now I'm all alone.

 

 Dad came to get them about a half hour before I started this blog post,  and they are there for the next two nights.

 

*Breathes deeply*

 

I have to focus here.

 

I have a lot to do.

 

For starters I am getting the hell out of this house and going for a quick drive. I don't care where I just have to get out of here. 

 

Then I am going to see if I can fix this mess:

 

 

Yeah, this is what you call a mangled mess of madness for a mother.

 

My worst nightmare.

 

I should play some kind of game here, like "Guess how many necklaces are in this photo?"

 

Kind of like the "How many gumballs in the decorated jar?" or "Where's Waldo?"

 

I'll tell you how many necklaces are in this mess...there are three of them. Three not so cheap necklaces one from me, one from her father and one from her aunt.

 

And if you can find the cross(upper left corner) it is a mess inside a mess, because not only is the chain tangled in the mangled mess(this sounds like a Dr. Seuss verse in one of his books) but the chain is also wrapped, very snugly I might add, around the cross. 

 

I have been rubbing it with my thumb and forefingers as a relative of mine suggested I do to loosen it, and it's slowly coming undone, but it seems like every time I think I'm getting somewhere, I find another clump of chain somewhere else.

I had to put it down and walk away.

Walked far, far away and outside the door.

Would have loved to walk to the Bahamas(the real one, not some bar somewhere) for a Margarita with an umbrella and back home again, but I have to work tomorrow.

 

So no Margarita for me.

 

Well...

 

The past 24 hours have been quite an adventure.

 

However, despite all the drama for this mama I shall persevere.

 

I will not give up.

 

Not give up hope that my kids will one day become more peaceful and less stressful to one another and their mother(there's that Dr. Seuss in me coming out again).

 

That one day my dreams of having that dream job where I can telecommute from home and spend all my days volunteering at my children's school like I use to do will come to fruition. Because I'm tired of being so far away from them all the time, I know they eventually have to spread their wings, but they won't stay young forever, and I want to enjoy them before forever comes.

Know what I mean?

And I want to live in a nice house, with a nice backyard where we can barbecue and get a dog and have some kind of "normal" in our life....because dammit we all deserve a little normal.

Where we can sit on our porch at night and listen to the crickets chirping or watch the rain as it pitter patters across the window pane while the kids do homework and I read a book...or better yet...write one myself.

Hey, anything is possible.

Right?