Thank You Mom

I don't know how many people have a really close relationship with their mothers. I know I have a fairly good relationship with my mom and perhaps I might feel closer to her if I lived closer to her. I love my mom with every part of my being. She is a strong woman and has done so much for so many people I don't know how she did it, but she did and still continues to do for others, selflessly I might add,  to this day.

She is rather humble as well. And doesn't like to toot her own horn so to speak.  I'm still going to post this blog anyway, because I think the world needs to know just how awesome my mom really is. I'm not going to dish every little family story about my mom, just the highlights....because there isn't enough time to cover every bit of awesomeness in my mom here.

Being the sole bread-winner in our family for the past 30 some years she worked a grave yard shift while we were just little kids and managed to still run a brownie troop, clean house, do laundry, woke us up for school on time, even made us breakfast which often was an egg-in-a-bread, pancakes or my all time favorite...oatmeal.

It wasn't just cold cereal dumped in a bowl with milk. She made us a real breakfast.  

Thank you mom.

There were times I made my mother angry growing up and even as a grown up. I don't want to hurt my mother, and sometimes as mothers we want what's best for our children and as children we don't always see it that way. I myself have given advice to my own children, and I can "see" the eye rolls or hear the sighs in their voices on the phone, those same sighs I gave my mother when she too gave me the same advice.

I remember mornings waking up and seeing her sitting in the kitchen, cup of coffee in hand reading a paper or just sitting at the table. She would be up some mornings at 2 or 3 a.m. doing random  household chores like laundry or dishes or taking care of us with a sore throat, stomach ache or some other child hood illness. I don't know how she did it. She'd literally go on just a few hours of sleep and manage to make a meal,  deal with an argument between me and/or my siblings, bake a cake for a party and still go to work on time every night. Healthy or sick as a dog, my mother would grab her lunch, her keys and purse and head out the door to work. Rain, snow, sleet or chill of night she drove to work every night to provide us with a roof over our head and food on the table, clothes on our backs and gifts at Christmas and birthdays.  I often think about that when I am doing the same thing. When I am faced with tackling the same duties in my own home I am often reminded of what my mother did back when I was growing up and think to myself, "I don't know how she did it."

We always think that our mothers will be here forever. So we may not say what we want to say and then realize when it's too late what we wanted to say when they were here. This is my way of saying to my mom just how much I love her and appreciate all she has done for me over the years. How thankful I am to have her in my life. How I wish I lived closer. How I wish I had done things in my life so differently so I didn't have to live so far away from her.  So I can reciprocate all the things she has done for me and show my appreciation for her unconditional love and support through the years to me and my children.

Some people may not have a close relationship with their mothers. I feel sorry for those people.  To not share a Christmas dinner with their mothers or pick up a phone and say "How are you doing today mom?" is just something I cannot fathom. Our moms won't be here forever. They are only here one lifetime.  No argument is worth a severed relationship with one's mother. I don't care who you are. If you are rich and famous and think you don't "need" your mother anymore, you are wrong. Because a mother's love is never-ending and no husband/boyfriend, wife/girlfriend, best friend and no material possessions can ever replace a mother's love in my opinion anyway.  Swallow your pride, make amends and say you're sorry and fix that broken relationship with your mother.  Because God forbid one day she isn't here anymore, you will never, ever forgive yourself and the guilt will eat you up.

Guaranteed.

 I don't have the luxury of getting in my van and driving to my mom's house to take her to lunch or share a cup of coffee in the morning with her out in her back yard in the summertime. I don't have the ability to go over for pizza and a game night with my kids to grandma's house because grandma lives 2000 miles away. My kids are constantly asking me "When can we go see grandma?"  Breaks my heart because a trip to grandma's doesn't cost a gallon of gas, it costs more than what I make in a month's salary these days. So I just tell them "Someday."

   

I visited home this past summer. I enjoyed my visit so much and a friend of mine invited me to stay with her a night or two but I couldn't do it. Because in all honesty I didn't want to leave my mom's.  That was my home. That IS home. I had so little time to try and get as many memories as I could with my family. We laughed so hard some nights and despite some minor drama that happened during my visit, I didn't want to leave.

And then it came.

That day when I had to say good bye. I wanted it to drag out longer. I didn't want to have to walk out that door of the house that made me feel safe, with the one woman who, throughout my life protected and comforted me. My son took my suitcases to the car and we drove to the bus station. We said our good byes. I couldn't stop crying as I looked out the bus window at my mother, son and father standing there near the building at the bus station. I wanted to jump off the bus and not come back here. I wanted to hug my mom just another minute longer. 

So thank you mom for being there for me. Thank you for not hating me when I was sometimes a sassy mouthy brat and thank you for doing all you do, not just for me but for others as well. You are an inspiration. You are someone special. It takes a strong woman to do what you do and to handle all that comes your way.

I admire you and I love you more than words can say.