So let's see, it's a mere 360 more days til Christmas. Have you gotten your shopping done yet?
Just kidding.
Well, I guess I'm kidding. Although those after Christmas sales can really get you some good deals. If you are willing to stand in line with other folks who have returned gifts only to buy more gifts with the gift money they got back. They either return an ugly sweater from Aunt Gertrude, or maybe that noisy firetruck from Aunt Pearl that their two-year old son won't stop pressing the button on.
I went out today. It's amazing what the outside world looks like on a Saturday afternoon. There are people out there. Lots of people, and birds and cars and all kinds of cool stuff.
Yeah, that's my sarcasm once again.
I managed to get to Target and got a gift card for one of my sons, and a few odds and ends for me....some goodies that I needed because I deserve a good treat every now and again.
I finally bought some underwear.
Quit blushing, it's just underwear it's not like they were thong undies or something and it's not like I am describing them in great detail. Although they did have some cute colors and designs. So I got a pack on sale because that is what one does when ones' panties are literally falling apart.
They buy new ones.
Then they don't buy again for another three or four years which is how long it's been since I got myself a good pair of undies. Those suckers were bleached until even the white came out of them, then they were just toilet paper like cloth with elastic holding them together.
*shivers at the thought*
I also got a purse. I loved the purse I had, my mom gave it to me. It has sentimental value to it. I will more than likely give it to my daughter. It has a slight tear at the top but she can still put her "makeup" or hair ties or Pet Shops in it. I can't bring myself to throw it away. I won't do that.
The purse I got is definitely big enough to fit all the crap I shoved into that tiny purse I got from my mom without tearing it up, plus a can of hair spray, curling iron and my lunch if I need to fit it in there. Although the only thing I don't like about this purse is I have to fumble to find my phone. Didn't think about my phone when I bought it. I just liked the color and the size of the thing.
So I bought it.
The sacrifices one makes in order to find a good fashion accessory.
Then I headed out to pay my rent and go to the grocery store for some soda. As I was walking in the parking lot some old fella in a very new black car decided he was just going to pull out of his spot without any consideration for the people walking behind his vehicle. That "people" would be me. I said "Whoa dude!" and looked at him and kept walking.
Some people should not have licenses.
In my opinion he was one of them.
And I still can't believe that I said "Whoa dude!", clearly I've been hanging out with too many tweens these days or something.
I got my soda and left the store. Mailed out the cards to my kids and then I headed home.
Cleaned my kitchen, opened the window and patio door to get a good breeze going in here, because when the heat is on and you've been cooped up in an apartment for well over a month, it's nice to get some fresh air rolling around to wash away the stuffiness and "ick" in the place.
I made some spinach and artichoke dip with some chips, had some tortellini for lunch/dinner and now I've been on here playing Papa Pear and hanging out on Facebook for about 40 minutes now.
I'm trying to find my room too. I just brought a bag in here to start discarding junk that I no longer need. I really want to start the new year out on a fresh note. A good, positive note so that I don't have anything holding me back or cluttering up my life that I don't need.
Something good has to come next year. New Year's Day is a New Moon. What is a new moon? A time for new beginnings, abundance, new chapters...etc...
I am however, bummed that soapnet will no longer be available on my cable provider's line up anymore, but in all honesty I think I'm going to just go with netflix and pay the bundle price for phone/internet and call it a day. I think I'm switching providers too. Got a better deal with DirectTV. I watch Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars on Soapnet. I'm so bummed. It's bad enough I had to live without Judging Amy when they pulled it off of TNT like seven years ago and then FlashForward back in like, 2006, now I have to live without Gilmore Girls too?? Is there any justice left in the world?
*puts palm on forehead and slumps over in chair in an overly dramatic fashion*
*insert deep sigh*
Yeah, I know, I'll survive.
Well the room is not going to clean itself up. It would be nice if I could just wiggle my nose like Samantha on Bewitched and everything would fix itself up on it's own, but I live in the real world(sometimes) and must do some things solo.
Ugh.
I'm sure I'll be back tomorrow.
Toodle-Loo!
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Stupid Subconscious I Hate You
I just watched the most depressing Christmas movie ever...The Christmas Blessing. It had a sad/happy ending to it sort of. I only caught the last half hour of it, and it's probably better that way. I cried like a baby when it ended. It's about this poor little boy who had some type of illness and without ruining the ending for those who may decide to watch it some day, I'll just say I cried when he ended up in the hospital and was talking to his father.
The tears just kept on coming.
I don't know what I was thinking watching this movie. For starters, I was all alone. And secondly, I didn't have the mass amount of tissue handy when the tears started flowing.
Now I have some movie called Help for the Holidays, this one seems a lot more cheerful than that last one I saw.
Thank Goodness.
And it wears me out mentally and physically. Surprisingly though, I didn't lose it once. I kept my cool. During nap time after some much needed help getting those little munchkins to sleep, I put on some meditation music that I use to relax it's compiled of sounds with birds and a flute playing and just took a few minutes to find my center.
It works every time and I manage to get through my work days easier when I do this. It's just 20 minutes of music and nature sounds, and today it put two of those little ones right to sleep for me and it's also helped other kids in the room I work in on a regular basis to get to sleep as well.
My kids went back to dad's today. Gee, I sure do miss them. I always miss them most the first few nights they are away. Especially this week, despite some minor drama and meltdowns we had a really good Christmas week together. It's too quiet around here now. All I hear are birds chirping and TV noise in the background. Haven't seen my little friend Jiminy around here lately. My daughter saw him in the laundry room hoppin' around Christmas day, but haven't seen him since.
Oops, phone call be right back....
Meh. That's life.
The tears just kept on coming.
I don't know what I was thinking watching this movie. For starters, I was all alone. And secondly, I didn't have the mass amount of tissue handy when the tears started flowing.
Now I have some movie called Help for the Holidays, this one seems a lot more cheerful than that last one I saw.
Thank Goodness.
**********
Well, I survived today at work. I bolted out of there like there were zombies chasing me. I just wanted to get home. The room I worked in today was filled with toddlers, very energetic, very needy toddlers. Don't get me wrong, I love those little munchkins and they made me laugh so hard today, but my stress level was at an all time high today thinking of all the bills I have to pay and all the things I have to take care of over the next month that it tends to affect my ability to concentrate sometimes.And it wears me out mentally and physically. Surprisingly though, I didn't lose it once. I kept my cool. During nap time after some much needed help getting those little munchkins to sleep, I put on some meditation music that I use to relax it's compiled of sounds with birds and a flute playing and just took a few minutes to find my center.
It works every time and I manage to get through my work days easier when I do this. It's just 20 minutes of music and nature sounds, and today it put two of those little ones right to sleep for me and it's also helped other kids in the room I work in on a regular basis to get to sleep as well.
My kids went back to dad's today. Gee, I sure do miss them. I always miss them most the first few nights they are away. Especially this week, despite some minor drama and meltdowns we had a really good Christmas week together. It's too quiet around here now. All I hear are birds chirping and TV noise in the background. Haven't seen my little friend Jiminy around here lately. My daughter saw him in the laundry room hoppin' around Christmas day, but haven't seen him since.
Oops, phone call be right back....
**********
Well, it's now Saturday.
Gee, I am getting lazy.
Or easily sidetracked.
Or a little bit of both.
I got a phone call from a friend of mine. She was sitting in a mall parking lot back in my home state of Indiana while we chatted for the whole one hour and some odd minutes that we were on the phone. It was 12:15 her time when we hung up the phone. She called me at 9:20 our time.
I was out on my patio this morning and my neighbor was walking up his stairs. I was looking at my phone reading something on Facebook and he said hello to me. I looked up, smiled and said hello back. Why am I sharing this little tidbit of random neighborly greetings with you? Because I'm going to talk about something that bugs me, and even with all the therapy in the world that I have had and talked about this in great detail, I can't seem to fix this one problem with myself when it comes to men.
I can't talk to them anymore.
Even men who I am not remotely interested in(as in the case of the above mentioned neighbor), just a random guy who is nice and courteous or just making conversation, I feel like a dork when I talk to them.
I don't know why.
Can't figure it out.
It drives me insane.
Of course I have to talk to men at work, there are dads there. But in those cases I force myself to try and think of things to say in order not to look like I'm some lame dork who doesn't know how to verbally communicate with the outside world. I'm teaching their children, I should at least be able to put a few random sentences together without falling apart or looking like an idiot.
It drives me crazy.
All I want to do is talk to guys without feeling like a leper.
Is that too much to ask of myself?
And every time I am outside and I hear this neighbor's footsteps coming up the stairs I just sit and pray he doesn't try and start a conversation with me or say hello. Because I have to live next door to this guy and it's best if I just stay on my side of the wall that separates us and he stay on his. Because if he tries to actually have a conversation with me, I will for sure, most definitely say something that will make my self-esteem plummet even further into the land of embarrassment.
I don't want to talk to guys. If it were up to me, I'd hide in a guy-free shell the rest of my life.
Seriously.
Here's the thing, as I try and self-diagnose myself here, I think that it all boils down to the fact that ALL the men in my life have let me down at some point and time. And I think I'm just way too emotionally drained to deal with finding other male friends to hang with or chat with because deep down inside I've been hurt so much, gave the friendship (or marriage if such was the case)all that I could, and I was either:
a)Abandoned by said men or,
b)Chastised or ridiculed/Abused or Mistreated or,
c) Taken advantage of or,
d) They broke my trust in them or,
e) All of the above at some point and time.
Our subconscious mind is a crazy thing.
It remembers things that we have long forgotten and the wonderful "cousin"( as I like to term it) of the conscious mind, that damn "subconscious mind" has a way of hanging onto things that were said or done to us long after we forgot it ever even happened. So now, thanks to that lovely subconscious mind of mine, I'm forcing myself to live in a man-free world the rest of my life.
This is devastating.
I'd love nothing more than to have a fulfilling, deeply rooted, romantic relationship with some guy. A long-term let's run away together and elope kind of relationship with a guy; a guy who spoils me and my kids endlessly with quality time at home and trips to the park, the zoo and any place else that is fun.
But that will never happen in this lifetime. For starters, there are numerous people who poke fun at the "high quality" men (insert sarcasm here) that I have dated. Sure I laugh with them about it. Because it is kind of funny. But truth be known, I get all the men who don't want a forever kind of love, at least not with me. Then I blame myself. Surely I'm the problem not them. I'm the common denominator in this so it has to be me. But then you have enough people telling you it's the man's fault eventually you believe it's the man's fault and you slink back into the comfort zone of the man-free shell you live in and stay single.
Or you have people who tell you, "Get a dog! They are more loyal anyway." That's easy for you to say, you have someone.
I don't.
And while some of these people mean well with their quirky words of encouragement, what they don't get is that they have someone they can share special moments with, even if their man completely annoys they hell out of them from time to time, they STILL HAVE SOMEONE!
It hurts me when you tell me to get a dog. That laugh I give you when you say that, it's a forced laugh, brought on by the fact that I don't want to fall into a tear-ridden conversation with you. It's basically saying that I'm not good enough for a strong, happy relationship with a good man. Even though I'm sure that isn't what you are inferring when you say that, that's what it says to me when I go home...to my empty apartment...alone.
Hell I'd even settle for a relationship with a guy that was friend based. I had a guy like that in my life a long, long time ago. He was my best friend. Somewhere around here, I have that blog I wrote, and I will find it and I will share it. Because out of all the guys I was ever knew(and ONLY friends with) this guy was, indeed one of my two best male friends.
He was my diamond in the rough. Will never find another friend as good as he was to me, and this guy had more issues than I did at the time...believe me.
And then there was another friend of mine who I met at a job after high school. He was also my best friend. My mom absolutely loved this guy, but of course I didn't. Well, not love as in "love, love" the guy. I loved him like a best friend, like a brother. Truth be told though, it seemed like there were times that I found myself wanting to date him, but I held back my feelings for the guy, because, well, he was my friend back then. If I told him and he didn't feel the same, well...there goes the friendship. Plus when I was single he was dating or when he was single I was dating. It simply wasn't meant to be.
The fates had other plans for both of us.
Over the years I found myself wondering what life might have been like had I made my feelings known to this guy. He was so good to me. He watched my son for me when I was a new mom and going to school and my son was just an infant. He drove me places when I needed rides to the store because I had no wheels, or take me to doc appointments or whatever I needed. I remember one time he was driving me to my mom's after a doc appointment and I had a pic of the ultrasound. I said "You wanna see it?" He got all grossed out, and I think he thought it showed parts that he didn't want to see on me, and I told him, "It's just an X-ray silly!" I just laughed so hard at his expression.
He still didn't look.
He was always there for me, and my son. What single 21 year old does that kind of stuff? He'd pick me up and take me out to hang with the rest of our friends. I was the only chick in the whole group. It was me, and three really amazing guys. It was like that show on TBS called My Boys. It was so much fun back then when life was so much less complicated.
He's married now and has a nice family and a very, very pretty wife. He's doing well. I'm happy for him. I'm no longer friends with him anymore though, because we seemed to have drifted apart. He has a very important position at work, and I'm just this person from his past who he friended on Facebook long ago.
Meh. That's life.
So yea, I will never have a good, strong bond with a male ever again.
Because the stupid cousin of the conscious mind wants to make sure I never do.
I will begin knitting sweaters and start my cat collection now. Because after my kids are grown that's all I'll have left. My sweaters and my 10 cats.
*sigh*
Posting this blog actually makes me feel a little better after the 1,000 tears I shed writing it. Again I say, there is nothing like a good therapeutic blog to get one's mind cleared out.
The new year is less than a week away.
Time to clean all the garbage out of my head, body, soul and apartment.
Like that chick in that movie, who wanted her amygdala removed so she could forget some guy she met(crap I can't remember the name of that movie, it's gonna drive me insane now) I want my subconscious mind removed and replaced with a newer model. A fresh, never-before used kind of subconscious mind that will do a system restore on my brain and make my subconscious mind as pure as the day I was born.
Right, like that will ever happen.
I only want the good memories, not the bad ones in there.
Because it's messing with my happiness, it's messing with my self-esteem, it's messing with my head and my heart and I don't like it, not one stinkin' bit.
*What is the name of that damn movie?!*
Well, I guess I should go. I'm pretty sure I will be back again with more random banter to share. I think I'm going to read my very first post. Then I am going to read the New Year's Day post from this year and see what's come about since that post.
Should be interesting.
Until later....
Oh...the movie is called "Someone Like You"...love it.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Santa Has Left The Building
What a Christmas Eve we had yesterday!
There was no snow, of course, but it still was an amazing day. Despite the fact all four of us wanted snow more than anything and my youngest twin kept saying, "If we had snow that would be the most awesome gift ever!"
Speaking of gifts I got the most amazing gift from my children. I got a little bear with a santa hat and bag that opens to put candy in. Bless their little hearts they all pitched in to get me this little stuffed bundle of joy.
We went into the store, got our last minute items for dinner and we were out in the parking lot. My son says to me, "MOM! WE FORGOT THE EGG NOG!" I was walking towards the van, and was going to just stop at Walgreen's but then I realized that would require another trip getting out of the van for the kids(seating arrangements... they all have to sit directly behind me in the middle row for some reason I didn't want to hear it) so I just decided to go back in. I literally ran to the back of the store and got the egg nog, thankfully some nice couple there informed me that the bigger size was on sale and cheaper than the size I had in my hand, I thanked them and ran back to the cashier almost running into some woman's cart in the process. I smiled and apologized and kept running like my ass was on fire.
Paid for the egg nog and left just as quick as I could.
We all had an amazing dinner of turkey, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes with gravy, crescent rolls and some spinach and artichoke dip for an appetizer. I even bought them a two-liter of soda for the special night. And I finally remembered the damn egg nog.
I wanted to stay up well past midnight, but barely made it. See, Santa hadn't made his visit yet. I passed out on the couch and awoke an hour later to use the bathroom and lo' and behold Santa happened to visit at that exact moment. *wink* I went back to sleep only to awaken around 7:30 and nudged my kids up to see the gifts below the tree.
Score!
Another year with Santa in our home. I don't want my children missing the magic of Santa. If I could make them believe in him well into their twenties my job as a mother will be a huge success.
However, kids usually stop believing around 11 or 12 and then Santa no longer visits. I told my kids "If you don't believe why should he leave you gifts?" My youngest twin son said to me "Mom, if there's gifts under that tree tomorrow, I'll believe in him."
My daughter still believes. We tracked Santa all night long on that Norad site. He was in Uruguay, Barbados, Ecuador, Detroit, then some how he back tracked to Asia somewhere after Detroit. I don't understand Santa's travel plans, but as long as that fat elf lands in our home each year I don't care how long it takes him to do it.
Yes, my children may come across my blog sometime. So remember kids, next year you need to make sure you continue to believe. Or all you'll be left with on Christmas morning is a big fat bag of coal, or...perhaps...reindeer poop on the patio to clean up.
That wouldn't be fun to play with now would it?
I still have to go get more batteries. I don't want to venture out today. I thought I would actually have a day where I wouldn't have to drive ANYWHERE. No such luck. My daughter got a Hello Kitty Bubble blower and it requires two AAA batteries, you know the ones that aren't that common in kids toys these days. I had double A's just no Triple ones.
Ugh.
And I have a rant here. A mini-rant that is. I won't make this a long-winded rant because, well, it's Christmas. Don't want the scrooge in me coming out en mass. Okay, so we open the kids gifts last night, wouldn't ya know it, stupid screw on the back to get the batteries in the boys' helicopters and R/C cars require a screwdriver that only a gnat would use.
Who thinks up this stuff?
Who is sitting there, putting these toys together and says "Hey, let's make screws small enough on kids toys that even a kid can't unscrew them. Let's tighten them as tight as possible so that when the parent tries, well, they are...literally...screwed! Ha ha ha ha ha!!" They laugh in their little tiny shop of madness as they begin to devise their next plan of those plastic restraints that they put on toys so tight that you need a chainsaw to break them open.
Seriously.
Who do I contact about this issue?
And for the record, twisty ties were meant for garbage bags, loaves of bread and tying bird cage doors closed, NOT for a kid's toy.
My son practically had a meltdown...scratch that...he had an actual meltdown last night. Couldn't get the battery cover off the back of his car. We tried a knife, we tried scissors and we even tried a pairing knife they got from Halloween at their dad's house.
No luck.
Finally the youngest twin opened his car battery compartment with...get this...a Capri Sun Straw.
I kid you not.
This is a true story. One you may not find on Snopes, but it's the truth. And if snopes wants to find out if it worked they can come on over and my youngest twin will show them.
So after feeding the oldest twin some chocolate to calm him down while he waited for his younger twin to help him, we finally managed to make his car run.
Then came the helicopters.
I nearly lost an eyelash!
Well, not really but I came pretty damn close to losing one.
Those helicopters were all over our living room last night. Remember, I am in an apartment, not a house with cathedral ceilings mind you, but a small apartment that barely fits what furniture we have in it. So picture if you will two boys trying to fly their helicopters around this place. I kept on reminding them I had dishwater in the sink I had to drain with a pan soaking so they better be careful where they fly those things or we'll have a drowning on one of their missions here.
We had two near misses.
And then I had to deal with my boys fighting over which channel they wanted to use. There was A, B, and C. Of course for whatever reason they both wanted B. I was ready to have them flip a coin but they finally stopped yelling at each other and the oldest twin gave in and went to C. Kudos to you son.
My daughter, meanwhile, is quietly enjoying her toys on the living room floor. She didn't have a care in the world. She was in her own little world of make believe and I sat down on the couch behind her and she hopped up next to me, barking poodle and unicorn in hand and we just sat there watching A Christmas Story. She told me Merry Christmas and said she loved me. I told her Merry Christmas and that I loved her too.
Then they all told me how this was the best Christmas Eve ever.
That made me smile.
Because when you're a single mom, that is the biggest worry the whole year round...the most pressing question in most single parents minds are, "Will I be able to afford Christmas this year?"
Somehow, someway I did it. And this year I won't be depressed like I was last year, because this year I made it financially to be able to pay my bills AND take care of Christmas.
I am blessed.
I am forever grateful.
We definitely have a guardian angel watching over us. And we definitely are rich no matter how many coins are on the bottom of my purse before pay day. Because although I am not rolling in money or material things, and I drive a van that isn't always reliable, one thing is for sure, me and my little family here have all the love and joy a family could ask for. It's not the material things that make us rich, but the love we all share with each other, especially around the holidays.
Despite the occasional madness, my children and I have the best gift ever....we are all together for the holidays and every day after.
If only I could say that about the rest of my children.
Maybe....some day...that gift will come too.
Merry Christmas!
There was no snow, of course, but it still was an amazing day. Despite the fact all four of us wanted snow more than anything and my youngest twin kept saying, "If we had snow that would be the most awesome gift ever!"
Speaking of gifts I got the most amazing gift from my children. I got a little bear with a santa hat and bag that opens to put candy in. Bless their little hearts they all pitched in to get me this little stuffed bundle of joy.
We went into the store, got our last minute items for dinner and we were out in the parking lot. My son says to me, "MOM! WE FORGOT THE EGG NOG!" I was walking towards the van, and was going to just stop at Walgreen's but then I realized that would require another trip getting out of the van for the kids(seating arrangements... they all have to sit directly behind me in the middle row for some reason I didn't want to hear it) so I just decided to go back in. I literally ran to the back of the store and got the egg nog, thankfully some nice couple there informed me that the bigger size was on sale and cheaper than the size I had in my hand, I thanked them and ran back to the cashier almost running into some woman's cart in the process. I smiled and apologized and kept running like my ass was on fire.
Paid for the egg nog and left just as quick as I could.
We all had an amazing dinner of turkey, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes with gravy, crescent rolls and some spinach and artichoke dip for an appetizer. I even bought them a two-liter of soda for the special night. And I finally remembered the damn egg nog.
*******************************
I wanted to stay up well past midnight, but barely made it. See, Santa hadn't made his visit yet. I passed out on the couch and awoke an hour later to use the bathroom and lo' and behold Santa happened to visit at that exact moment. *wink* I went back to sleep only to awaken around 7:30 and nudged my kids up to see the gifts below the tree.
Score!
Another year with Santa in our home. I don't want my children missing the magic of Santa. If I could make them believe in him well into their twenties my job as a mother will be a huge success.
However, kids usually stop believing around 11 or 12 and then Santa no longer visits. I told my kids "If you don't believe why should he leave you gifts?" My youngest twin son said to me "Mom, if there's gifts under that tree tomorrow, I'll believe in him."
My daughter still believes. We tracked Santa all night long on that Norad site. He was in Uruguay, Barbados, Ecuador, Detroit, then some how he back tracked to Asia somewhere after Detroit. I don't understand Santa's travel plans, but as long as that fat elf lands in our home each year I don't care how long it takes him to do it.
Yes, my children may come across my blog sometime. So remember kids, next year you need to make sure you continue to believe. Or all you'll be left with on Christmas morning is a big fat bag of coal, or...perhaps...reindeer poop on the patio to clean up.
That wouldn't be fun to play with now would it?
I still have to go get more batteries. I don't want to venture out today. I thought I would actually have a day where I wouldn't have to drive ANYWHERE. No such luck. My daughter got a Hello Kitty Bubble blower and it requires two AAA batteries, you know the ones that aren't that common in kids toys these days. I had double A's just no Triple ones.
Ugh.
And I have a rant here. A mini-rant that is. I won't make this a long-winded rant because, well, it's Christmas. Don't want the scrooge in me coming out en mass. Okay, so we open the kids gifts last night, wouldn't ya know it, stupid screw on the back to get the batteries in the boys' helicopters and R/C cars require a screwdriver that only a gnat would use.
Who thinks up this stuff?
Who is sitting there, putting these toys together and says "Hey, let's make screws small enough on kids toys that even a kid can't unscrew them. Let's tighten them as tight as possible so that when the parent tries, well, they are...literally...screwed! Ha ha ha ha ha!!" They laugh in their little tiny shop of madness as they begin to devise their next plan of those plastic restraints that they put on toys so tight that you need a chainsaw to break them open.
Seriously.
Who do I contact about this issue?
And for the record, twisty ties were meant for garbage bags, loaves of bread and tying bird cage doors closed, NOT for a kid's toy.
My son practically had a meltdown...scratch that...he had an actual meltdown last night. Couldn't get the battery cover off the back of his car. We tried a knife, we tried scissors and we even tried a pairing knife they got from Halloween at their dad's house.
No luck.
Finally the youngest twin opened his car battery compartment with...get this...a Capri Sun Straw.
I kid you not.
This is a true story. One you may not find on Snopes, but it's the truth. And if snopes wants to find out if it worked they can come on over and my youngest twin will show them.
So after feeding the oldest twin some chocolate to calm him down while he waited for his younger twin to help him, we finally managed to make his car run.
Then came the helicopters.
I nearly lost an eyelash!
Well, not really but I came pretty damn close to losing one.
Those helicopters were all over our living room last night. Remember, I am in an apartment, not a house with cathedral ceilings mind you, but a small apartment that barely fits what furniture we have in it. So picture if you will two boys trying to fly their helicopters around this place. I kept on reminding them I had dishwater in the sink I had to drain with a pan soaking so they better be careful where they fly those things or we'll have a drowning on one of their missions here.
We had two near misses.
And then I had to deal with my boys fighting over which channel they wanted to use. There was A, B, and C. Of course for whatever reason they both wanted B. I was ready to have them flip a coin but they finally stopped yelling at each other and the oldest twin gave in and went to C. Kudos to you son.
My daughter, meanwhile, is quietly enjoying her toys on the living room floor. She didn't have a care in the world. She was in her own little world of make believe and I sat down on the couch behind her and she hopped up next to me, barking poodle and unicorn in hand and we just sat there watching A Christmas Story. She told me Merry Christmas and said she loved me. I told her Merry Christmas and that I loved her too.
Then they all told me how this was the best Christmas Eve ever.
That made me smile.
Because when you're a single mom, that is the biggest worry the whole year round...the most pressing question in most single parents minds are, "Will I be able to afford Christmas this year?"
Somehow, someway I did it. And this year I won't be depressed like I was last year, because this year I made it financially to be able to pay my bills AND take care of Christmas.
I am blessed.
I am forever grateful.
We definitely have a guardian angel watching over us. And we definitely are rich no matter how many coins are on the bottom of my purse before pay day. Because although I am not rolling in money or material things, and I drive a van that isn't always reliable, one thing is for sure, me and my little family here have all the love and joy a family could ask for. It's not the material things that make us rich, but the love we all share with each other, especially around the holidays.
Despite the occasional madness, my children and I have the best gift ever....we are all together for the holidays and every day after.
If only I could say that about the rest of my children.
Maybe....some day...that gift will come too.
Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 23, 2013
Siblings and Sugar....Quite the Madness With a Happy Ending
My kids are hilarious!
You know Christmas is a day or two away when three children who are ten and nine kick you out of the living room and tell you to go on your computer and play Papa Pear.
They are up to something.
They told me they have a surprise for me. Gee, I wonder what it could be? Are they calling Ford Motor Company to have them deliver that shiny Escalade(any color) to our apartment? Or maybe they have arranged a blind date for me...hmm...that would be interesting and the theme of many a Hallmark movie on some nights I'm sure, especially around the holidays.
I could name a few if you'd like.
Actually they are more than likely cleaning out there. I finally got most of my kitchen cleaned, dishes anyway, and took the bird out and threw it on the counter. He needs to thaw a little before he goes for his nightly swim this evening. My son came in and asked me if they could tear apart the puzzle we did last night. That puzzle, by the way, was a freaking nightmare. It was only 100 pieces, but it took us almost an hour to figure it out. We all ended up putting pieces where we thought they should go in totally wrong areas of the puzzle.
How many polaks does it take to figure out a 100-piece puzzle in less than 30 minutes?
None in this house apparently.
I hear them rustling about in there. They want so badly to open "just one gift" in the morning. I told them earlier,"Look at this apartment! I've been cleaning all weekend, and it doesn't even look like I was cleaning all weekend! I just barely got the kitchen together!"
I got the deer in the headlight look.
Yeah, I got it from all three of them in unison.
Finally they leave the kitchen and go into a sibling huddle and next thing I know they are kicking me out of my own kitchen.
Well, okay then!
So I grabbed the remaining eight mini-cheesecake tarts out of the fridge, my can of Coke and I'm sitting in here now just waiting for them to give me the "all clear" so I can head back out to the comfort of my living room and under a nice warm blanket near the TV. Hoping to find some sort of movie we can all enjoy.
It's almost 11 p.m. here. These kids have the energy of an Energizer bunny I tell ya. Of course I know why they do.
See, being that it's the last day before the two-day Christmas break presents flow in to all the teachers in mass amounts. So our teacher's lounge was lined with cookies, candies, cakes, fudge and the like that some of the teacher's just couldn't bring home as they had plenty of that stuff in their homes already. I kept all of mine though. I have kids and I share with them and some of the kids in our neighborhood too.
Also, our lovely boss gave us all a one-pound box of See's candies today.
The secretary told us to take some of it home. My daughter wanted to take a whole box of cookies, and I told her "heck no! we have tons of that stuff at home, just take a few." So they took a few candies, a few boxes of Nerd's and some mini Snicker's bars and out the door we went.
So, my kids being kids started gnawing on all this stuff on the ride home from work. It's a good 20-30 minute drive depending on traffic. Needless to say, by the time we got home my kids were bouncing off the walls. Even my daughter, who is normally the quiet, sane one seemed to morph into this sugar-crazed zombie I had no clue existed. She and her two brothers were jumping around my living room with Nerf rifles in hand shooting at everything in sight. Yelling, jumping and wrestling, there they were, my sugar-laden kids with their bodies just jumping all over like popcorn in a pan. My son knocked my snowman family on the floor. I heard a thud and clink and thought "Oh, hell no..." went to look and saw them lying on the ground, we couldn't find the baby snowman and I was not a happy camper.
I had to walk away...count to ten....and not look back.
About two minutes later my son says, "FOUND HIM MOM!"
*insert deep sigh around here*
I even got a phone call and tried going outside. It was too cold out and I couldn't stay out there so I came back in...to MY room and shut the door. Next thing I know I'm being bombarded by my daughter and her brother opening up the door and hiding behind it. They are yelling "Shoot him! Shoot him!" to each other and I'm telling them to leave.
No such luck.
I gave up finally and headed to my daughter's room for some much needed peace and quiet. That lasted the remainder of my fifteen minute conversation with my friend from work and then as I was getting ready to hang up they started screaming again.
This time in the kitchen behind me. I told my friend, "See, this is what I have to deal with for the next three hours until the sugar fix wears off."
She laughed.
Of course she laughed, she's not here now is she?
I laughed too.
Then I hung up.
So here I am.
Me, the few droplets of my soda now left and all eight cherry cheesecake mini tarts...gone. Poof! Just like that.
What is one to do with all this free time? I could write about ten more blogs.
I could clean my room.
*shivers at the thought*
Whew! I almost thought about actually doing that!
I could go and try some new make up and hair styles in my bathroom mirror. Like when I was 13 and I use to sneak into my mom's bathroom after she went to bed(she worked nights) and I'd put on eyeliner and one of the lighter shades of eyeshadow as I got ready to hang out with my cousin or a friend of mine for the evening. Put on my Bonnie Bell lip gloss and Love's Baby Soft perfume and head out the door. Put on my leg warmers and tapered jeans with the comb in the pocket.
Oh dear God....what am I doing here? I'm rehashing 8th grade!
Forget trying the new make up or hair do's. I think I'll just go hang out on Facebook.
Gotta be someone with more drama than I ever had on there.
Somewhere.
Or maybe some more cat pictures I can quickly scroll past. Maybe find a few more political rants from major news network commentators, or see someone's update about how they ate salad instead of a cheeseburger for lunch.
I got some amazing gifts today. I will never forget the kindness and generosity of these children and their parents. Even a simple "Thank you for taking care of our little Jenny" or a card the children colored themselves makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Life is good.
And I just got the all clear from my kids. My son blindfolded me and led me out to the living room. He removed the blind fold and what to my wandering eyes should appear??
A clean dining room table, living room and a lit Christmas tree. They said it wasn't so they could get a gift in the morning. They said they just wanted to do something nice for me as a gift.
Now that is the best gift anyone can get.
Then they showed me a gift they wrapped for me under the tree.
I love those kids with all my heart.
Maybe they just might get to open a gift tomorrow morning.
We'll see.
You know Christmas is a day or two away when three children who are ten and nine kick you out of the living room and tell you to go on your computer and play Papa Pear.
They are up to something.
They told me they have a surprise for me. Gee, I wonder what it could be? Are they calling Ford Motor Company to have them deliver that shiny Escalade(any color) to our apartment? Or maybe they have arranged a blind date for me...hmm...that would be interesting and the theme of many a Hallmark movie on some nights I'm sure, especially around the holidays.
I could name a few if you'd like.
Actually they are more than likely cleaning out there. I finally got most of my kitchen cleaned, dishes anyway, and took the bird out and threw it on the counter. He needs to thaw a little before he goes for his nightly swim this evening. My son came in and asked me if they could tear apart the puzzle we did last night. That puzzle, by the way, was a freaking nightmare. It was only 100 pieces, but it took us almost an hour to figure it out. We all ended up putting pieces where we thought they should go in totally wrong areas of the puzzle.
How many polaks does it take to figure out a 100-piece puzzle in less than 30 minutes?
None in this house apparently.
I hear them rustling about in there. They want so badly to open "just one gift" in the morning. I told them earlier,"Look at this apartment! I've been cleaning all weekend, and it doesn't even look like I was cleaning all weekend! I just barely got the kitchen together!"
I got the deer in the headlight look.
Yeah, I got it from all three of them in unison.
Finally they leave the kitchen and go into a sibling huddle and next thing I know they are kicking me out of my own kitchen.
Well, okay then!
So I grabbed the remaining eight mini-cheesecake tarts out of the fridge, my can of Coke and I'm sitting in here now just waiting for them to give me the "all clear" so I can head back out to the comfort of my living room and under a nice warm blanket near the TV. Hoping to find some sort of movie we can all enjoy.
It's almost 11 p.m. here. These kids have the energy of an Energizer bunny I tell ya. Of course I know why they do.
See, being that it's the last day before the two-day Christmas break presents flow in to all the teachers in mass amounts. So our teacher's lounge was lined with cookies, candies, cakes, fudge and the like that some of the teacher's just couldn't bring home as they had plenty of that stuff in their homes already. I kept all of mine though. I have kids and I share with them and some of the kids in our neighborhood too.
Also, our lovely boss gave us all a one-pound box of See's candies today.
The secretary told us to take some of it home. My daughter wanted to take a whole box of cookies, and I told her "heck no! we have tons of that stuff at home, just take a few." So they took a few candies, a few boxes of Nerd's and some mini Snicker's bars and out the door we went.
So, my kids being kids started gnawing on all this stuff on the ride home from work. It's a good 20-30 minute drive depending on traffic. Needless to say, by the time we got home my kids were bouncing off the walls. Even my daughter, who is normally the quiet, sane one seemed to morph into this sugar-crazed zombie I had no clue existed. She and her two brothers were jumping around my living room with Nerf rifles in hand shooting at everything in sight. Yelling, jumping and wrestling, there they were, my sugar-laden kids with their bodies just jumping all over like popcorn in a pan. My son knocked my snowman family on the floor. I heard a thud and clink and thought "Oh, hell no..." went to look and saw them lying on the ground, we couldn't find the baby snowman and I was not a happy camper.
I had to walk away...count to ten....and not look back.
About two minutes later my son says, "FOUND HIM MOM!"
*insert deep sigh around here*
I even got a phone call and tried going outside. It was too cold out and I couldn't stay out there so I came back in...to MY room and shut the door. Next thing I know I'm being bombarded by my daughter and her brother opening up the door and hiding behind it. They are yelling "Shoot him! Shoot him!" to each other and I'm telling them to leave.
No such luck.
I gave up finally and headed to my daughter's room for some much needed peace and quiet. That lasted the remainder of my fifteen minute conversation with my friend from work and then as I was getting ready to hang up they started screaming again.
This time in the kitchen behind me. I told my friend, "See, this is what I have to deal with for the next three hours until the sugar fix wears off."
She laughed.
Of course she laughed, she's not here now is she?
I laughed too.
Then I hung up.
So here I am.
Me, the few droplets of my soda now left and all eight cherry cheesecake mini tarts...gone. Poof! Just like that.
What is one to do with all this free time? I could write about ten more blogs.
I could clean my room.
*shivers at the thought*
Whew! I almost thought about actually doing that!
I could go and try some new make up and hair styles in my bathroom mirror. Like when I was 13 and I use to sneak into my mom's bathroom after she went to bed(she worked nights) and I'd put on eyeliner and one of the lighter shades of eyeshadow as I got ready to hang out with my cousin or a friend of mine for the evening. Put on my Bonnie Bell lip gloss and Love's Baby Soft perfume and head out the door. Put on my leg warmers and tapered jeans with the comb in the pocket.
Oh dear God....what am I doing here? I'm rehashing 8th grade!
Forget trying the new make up or hair do's. I think I'll just go hang out on Facebook.
Gotta be someone with more drama than I ever had on there.
Somewhere.
Or maybe some more cat pictures I can quickly scroll past. Maybe find a few more political rants from major news network commentators, or see someone's update about how they ate salad instead of a cheeseburger for lunch.
I got some amazing gifts today. I will never forget the kindness and generosity of these children and their parents. Even a simple "Thank you for taking care of our little Jenny" or a card the children colored themselves makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Life is good.
And I just got the all clear from my kids. My son blindfolded me and led me out to the living room. He removed the blind fold and what to my wandering eyes should appear??
A clean dining room table, living room and a lit Christmas tree. They said it wasn't so they could get a gift in the morning. They said they just wanted to do something nice for me as a gift.
Now that is the best gift anyone can get.
Then they showed me a gift they wrapped for me under the tree.
I love those kids with all my heart.
Maybe they just might get to open a gift tomorrow morning.
We'll see.
Ho, Ho, Ho We Won't Have Snow
Hoping for a fun day!!! Happy Christmas Eve Eve folks!
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Baking Has Commenced
T'is the season for tons of baking.
I've already started.
My house will be smelling like the holidays today.
I have cherry cheesecake tarts in the oven right now. Mini tarts, these suckers are so good I could probably eat the whole damn batch alone. I'm also planning to bake with the kids the gingerbread and sugar cookies which we made the dough for last night. I also have nut cup dough and roshky dough in the fridge that I put together this morning.
They need to chill.
They need to chill.
Next on my list here is baklava. I only make that once a year, because the phyllo dough is ridiculously pricey($4.49/two sheets...and that was on SALE!) and I only buy the Pepperidge Farm brand because that's the brand I've used time and time again. The other reason I only bake it once a year, is it's a sticky mess to make and I "suffer" with peeling those thin, thin pastry sheets and rolling them up. It's like taking wet tissue paper and trying to wrap a gift with it without it tearing.
When I went to the grocery store yesterday, I asked the young girl(about 20 years old or so) who was ringing my order up if she knew which aisle the Phyllo Dough was in. I explained that they are pastry sheets used for baking. She looked at me and said, "Did you try the baking aisle?" I wanted to say, "I was in the baking aisle but it's in the grocery section NOT the frozen one where the sheets are..somewhere...well hidden." I just grinned at her instead and said to her, "You have no clue what they are do you, let alone where they might be, huh?" with a grin on my face. She probably thought I was a bitch, but I truly was joking around.
So I run into the front end manager and ask her and as we are walking down the aisle and I relay the above mentioned story, she laughs and looks at me and says "Some of our people are SPECIAL." She is so direct when she talks, doesn't hold back for a minute on her opinions. She cracks me up some times. Although it wasn't really a nice thing to say, the way she said it made me laugh.
I couldn't help myself.
Just plunked another one of those tarts in my mouth.
Don't look at me like that! I see that smirk. I have to test them to make sure they are good! Wouldn't want to give a gift of cherry cheesecake that was bad ya know! Geeze!
Hee hee....
Anyway, I'm just sitting here waiting for my kids to wake up so we can start our day. My son had a slight emergency situation on Thursday night. He's fine now. But has stitches in his hand from playing in an area I told him not to play in, yet when he's with his dad it's out of my hands. Perhaps he's learned his lesson now.
Probably not.
I have last minute shopping to do. I was so mad yesterday, went and made myself a list, then transferred my list to another piece of paper that had each department in the store, you know, produce, grocery, paper, frozen....wouldn't ya know it I forgot the damn list. Well, not really forgot it, when I ran out the door with the kids I grabbed my original list not the neat list with all my categories and non-scribbled notes all over. I was so mad. So now I have to run out, yet again, to get last minute stuff I need for dinner. Thankfully it's just sour cream and zwiebac crackers for my baklava. I can't find those suckers anywhere these days. Hopefully the baking Gods will be smiling on me and they will be at Wally World.
I hope so anyway.
I wonder if there are baking Gods. Maybe a patron Saint of Baking?
What do you know!!! There is a patron saint of baking!!! I just Googled that and low and behold found out that St. Honore' is the patron saint of bakers and pastry chefs. I'm gonna guess that's a man, but I could be wrong. There are Terry's and Sam's and even Billy's(Billy Jean...ha ha) that are girls. So who knows? Guess I could Google if St. Honore is a male or female but I'll just go with my gut here and say he's a he not a she.
What do you know!!! There is a patron saint of baking!!! I just Googled that and low and behold found out that St. Honore' is the patron saint of bakers and pastry chefs. I'm gonna guess that's a man, but I could be wrong. There are Terry's and Sam's and even Billy's(Billy Jean...ha ha) that are girls. So who knows? Guess I could Google if St. Honore is a male or female but I'll just go with my gut here and say he's a he not a she.
Glad we got that out of the way.
Now I have to clean up the mess. The cheesecakes are done and all that I have to do is head out the door and shop for my two items. You know though that when one, meaning me particularly, goes to shop for just ONE thing, one never gets just one thing. I'll probably end up spending another ten bucks on stuff I don't need. I do need mini gift boxes and tissue paper. Crap...more stuff to buy.
Well, I guess I should get going now.
Lots to do today and sitting on here won't get it done.
I was on a roll but then the kids dad came to pick up our boys and now I lost my mojo. Need to get it back really soon.
Have a lovely Sunday. Have a lovely week.
Not sure when I'll be back here.
Until the next time.....
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Like a Vacuum the Christmas Season is Sucking My Energy Dry
This has been ONE.LONG.DAY!
I am so glad to be home. Been home since 8:30...left work at 6:10...you do the math here.
Got a nice little surprise from my parents back home in the form of some Christmas Cash for the kids gifts(and me too). I haven't gotten myself anything yet, but will eventually. I just wanted to get stuff for the kids so I could wrap it before they get back here on Friday. This was the last week I could shop and wrap before Christmas.
Overall this was a good day.
I walked into work to find 3 gifts for me atop the counter. One little girl excitedly told me "Miss Barb! I got you a surprise!!" She was glowing. More excited than me I believe that she got me that surprise at the time because I JUST got there and was still waking up.
I had my peppermint mocha frappe from Mickey D's with Whip Cream on top so I knew that it was going to be a good day, despite the asshat drivers on the road who were determined to cut me off or drive on my ass like their ass was on fire.
I made it to work.
Yay me!
So anyway, I opened my gifts after snack time as the kids kept telling me they got me something. I was going to wait until my lunch, but their enthusiasm made me give in early.
I got a book to read to the kids and a gift card for amazon. I was joking with my friend about how my book had stickers in it. We were cracking up. I also got some popcorn from this place called Popcorn Girl, never heard of it, but it looked tasty. I also got a gift card to this ice cream place called cold stone creamery. Hmm...never been there, can't wait to go either. Will have to take the kids on that trip. My kids that is, not the entire class. Couldn't afford that. I would if I could but I can't so I won't. I thanked all the parents and hugged the kids who gave the gifts to me as they left with their parents.
Then after work I got into my vehicle and headed straight to western union to pick up the Christmas Cash and then shopped around Wally World for what seemed like an eternity. Yesterday I had gone there(or was it the day before? What day is this anyway?? Oh yeah, it was Monday....!!)
So,...anyway....I saw this unicorn, a "My Life" unicorn and it was beauuuuutiful. I wanted to get that for my daughter. I thought to myself, "Gee, I'd be the coolest mom on the planet if I got her this." It was about 1-1/2 to 2 feet tall and so soft and white and sparkly. I wanted to get it for her and had it in the cart, but when I got to the checkout and realizing it was almost 30 bucks, I put it back.
I almost cried.
No Joke.
Then I was talking to my mom on the phone telling her the story and low and behold the Christmas Cash Conversation came up the next day and there I was telling my mom "I hope it's still there." It was the only one. I didn't see a display with any other My Life pets/dolls etc. It had to be meant for my daughter. My mom told me "If she is meant to have it, it will be there."
And...it...was.
So grama and papa get to be the coolest grandparents in the world. That's cool. I'll take the spot light next year when I buy her a car.
Just kidding. She is only 9.
I got my sons some transformers and some R/C helicopters. I wanted to buy them scooters but that area in Wally World was such a disaster. Still a mess. Messy aisles, messy shelves, just a plain old mess it was in there.
I did not enjoy shopping there at all.
Got out and couldn't find my van. I knew it was in the parking lot somewhere. Thankfully I was on the phone with my mom and she is laughing at me and I am laughing at me with her. I finally found it, turns out I was walking in the completely wrong direction.
Go figure.
Story of my life.
Always going in the wrong direction.
But I found my way.
Let's hope the same applies in my life as well.
Now I'm tired. But I still have to do a load of laundry and my kitchen. Vacuum my living room and still wrap those gifts. I'm just going to put them under the tree. Pray that my kids don't drive me insane asking to open "just one gift" under the tree all weekend.
Why can't Christmas just be celebrated the weekend before actual Christmas day? Like most major holidays...
Labor Day...first Monday in September. Memorial Day Last Monday in May...simple.
Meh.
Well, I have so much to do and so little time to do it in.
I don't know how I manage to function on the little sleep I get each night.
18 more hours of work to get to a 48 hour weekend.
Yippee!
Got to go. It's after 10 here and I have too much to do.
As long as my ass is in bed(i.e. on the couch) by 12, I'm good to go. Any later and I'll be walking like a slug tomorrow.
Have a lovely day/night whatever it is when you read this.
Toodle-loo!
I am so glad to be home. Been home since 8:30...left work at 6:10...you do the math here.
Got a nice little surprise from my parents back home in the form of some Christmas Cash for the kids gifts(and me too). I haven't gotten myself anything yet, but will eventually. I just wanted to get stuff for the kids so I could wrap it before they get back here on Friday. This was the last week I could shop and wrap before Christmas.
Overall this was a good day.
I walked into work to find 3 gifts for me atop the counter. One little girl excitedly told me "Miss Barb! I got you a surprise!!" She was glowing. More excited than me I believe that she got me that surprise at the time because I JUST got there and was still waking up.
I had my peppermint mocha frappe from Mickey D's with Whip Cream on top so I knew that it was going to be a good day, despite the asshat drivers on the road who were determined to cut me off or drive on my ass like their ass was on fire.
I made it to work.
Yay me!
So anyway, I opened my gifts after snack time as the kids kept telling me they got me something. I was going to wait until my lunch, but their enthusiasm made me give in early.
I got a book to read to the kids and a gift card for amazon. I was joking with my friend about how my book had stickers in it. We were cracking up. I also got some popcorn from this place called Popcorn Girl, never heard of it, but it looked tasty. I also got a gift card to this ice cream place called cold stone creamery. Hmm...never been there, can't wait to go either. Will have to take the kids on that trip. My kids that is, not the entire class. Couldn't afford that. I would if I could but I can't so I won't. I thanked all the parents and hugged the kids who gave the gifts to me as they left with their parents.
Then after work I got into my vehicle and headed straight to western union to pick up the Christmas Cash and then shopped around Wally World for what seemed like an eternity. Yesterday I had gone there(or was it the day before? What day is this anyway?? Oh yeah, it was Monday....!!)
So,...anyway....I saw this unicorn, a "My Life" unicorn and it was beauuuuutiful. I wanted to get that for my daughter. I thought to myself, "Gee, I'd be the coolest mom on the planet if I got her this." It was about 1-1/2 to 2 feet tall and so soft and white and sparkly. I wanted to get it for her and had it in the cart, but when I got to the checkout and realizing it was almost 30 bucks, I put it back.
I almost cried.
No Joke.
Then I was talking to my mom on the phone telling her the story and low and behold the Christmas Cash Conversation came up the next day and there I was telling my mom "I hope it's still there." It was the only one. I didn't see a display with any other My Life pets/dolls etc. It had to be meant for my daughter. My mom told me "If she is meant to have it, it will be there."
And...it...was.
So grama and papa get to be the coolest grandparents in the world. That's cool. I'll take the spot light next year when I buy her a car.
Just kidding. She is only 9.
I got my sons some transformers and some R/C helicopters. I wanted to buy them scooters but that area in Wally World was such a disaster. Still a mess. Messy aisles, messy shelves, just a plain old mess it was in there.
I did not enjoy shopping there at all.
Got out and couldn't find my van. I knew it was in the parking lot somewhere. Thankfully I was on the phone with my mom and she is laughing at me and I am laughing at me with her. I finally found it, turns out I was walking in the completely wrong direction.
Go figure.
Story of my life.
Always going in the wrong direction.
But I found my way.
Let's hope the same applies in my life as well.
Now I'm tired. But I still have to do a load of laundry and my kitchen. Vacuum my living room and still wrap those gifts. I'm just going to put them under the tree. Pray that my kids don't drive me insane asking to open "just one gift" under the tree all weekend.
Why can't Christmas just be celebrated the weekend before actual Christmas day? Like most major holidays...
Labor Day...first Monday in September. Memorial Day Last Monday in May...simple.
Meh.
Well, I have so much to do and so little time to do it in.
I don't know how I manage to function on the little sleep I get each night.
18 more hours of work to get to a 48 hour weekend.
Yippee!
Got to go. It's after 10 here and I have too much to do.
As long as my ass is in bed(i.e. on the couch) by 12, I'm good to go. Any later and I'll be walking like a slug tomorrow.
Have a lovely day/night whatever it is when you read this.
Toodle-loo!
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Just a Little Bit of Christmas Stuff To Share
I just got done Christmas shopping.
Three hours and a $4.00 meal consisting of a hot dog and small coke from Target later and I'm finally back in the comfort of home. I ran to Walmart, Walgreens and Target for my Christmas treasures for the kids. I sure hope they like what they got. I had 200 bucks to shop with and a gift cards I got from two of the parents at my work. One I received back in March from a parent whose son left my room, the other was a gift from a very nice grandparent of one of our former students.
Bless them both.
Thank you parents for helping with my shopping this year.
I'm exhausted now.
Just want to go to sleep. I have one more set of gifts to wrap and I'm done. I had to take a break. It's really lonely on the floor there wrapping all those gifts. Even the birds are quiet.
I was in Walmart and I heard this dad yelling to his daughter as they passed by me, "I have nowhere to put that reindeer at home."
"But dad--,"
"Put that back now! It's too much. We don't need another reindeer." I couldn't help but laugh out loud as they went by me.
Then another guy is yelling at his wife to decide which set of lights she wanted so they can go. "We've been here for hours, just pick one already so we can go!"
I know men are hunters, women are gatherers. Men were not meant to peruse aisles, especially the aisles with the "Christmas Junk" as some men will call it, and most especially not with their wives in the "Christmas Junk" aisle. That is like taking a woman out to a car show and lifting the hood while explaining what the catalytic converter does and why transmission fluid is a vital component to ones car running smoothly.
"You lost me when you lifted the hood honey. Can we go now?"
Head to Target and some dad is telling his two young girls, "We are just getting something small today. Christmas is just around the corner." I wanted to tell that dad, "Why are you even here with Christmas just around the corner anyway? Your kids don't have enough crap already? Can't wait 10 more days to let them have their toys?"
Must be rough when you can just randomly buy your kids toys for no reason.
That's my sarcasm by the way.
Then I went to Walgreen's and these two women were in front of me. The one woman sounded like she was from England or somewhere around there. She had this really amazing accent. She was probably about 60-something and her daughter was about my age. They are standing in line and the older woman says to me "Where'd you find that?" and I told her which aisle and said it was for my 10-yr old son. She proceeds to tell her daughter, "Ten, her son is ten. That would be perfect." The daughter already got something apparently and was telling me all about it. Then the mother was playing with the little (annoying I'm sure to the clerk working the counter but funny to the rest of us) stuffed penguin that sang "Donde esta Santa Claus?" when you push the button and shook it's little yellow and red maracas.
Cute.
Then she hit the button again and it stopped. Then she started it up, or tried to and said "I think I broke it." She kept on going though and eventually it started back up again.
I was cracking up at her. She was hilarious.
So she has this angel tree topper and the daughter says she'll pay for it, the mom says no, and they go back and forth finally the daughter pays for it and I see the mom wander over to the counter behind us where there is a stuffed snowman. I looked at the daughter and said "I don't think she's done shopping yet," then I laughed.
I wished them a Merry Christmas and they wished me one back.
Out the door they went.
I get home with the purchase I got and I was so mad. Got home and the damn thing didn't work. Can't say what it is though, my kids read my blog. So I had to take it back. I didn't want to go and was going to go tomorrow, but I knew if I did they would all be gone because as my luck would have it they were five bucks off.
I was so happy.
I found this out(the sale that is) the first time I went there(out of three trips there) when I went to the register and she rang up my items. I said, "Oh! It's on sale! Yay!" Woman behind me says "It would be nice if they would tell you that before you get to the counter," in a rather annoyed voice. Bah humbug you, don't ruin my happy day is what I wanted to say.
So the cashier rings me up and tells me I have points to redeem...a whopping three bucks off my purchase. "Sure!" I'll redeem those points!" Then she hands me my receipt and a coupon for $2.00 of a purchase of 10 bucks or more. I looked at her and the lady behind me and said, "Who needs mega-millions when you have Walgreens?!"
I know I should get out a hell of a lot more than I do.
Got home and began the daunting task of sorting, wrapping and labeling. Ugh. This use to be fun for me. I use to love doing this. But when there is no one to talk to..well...it's just kind of...boring.
I tried lighting the tree, putting on Christmas music and getting "into it".
Just couldn't do it.
My heart wanted to be into this, but my head had other plans.
I was thinking about a friend of mine who lost his mother yesterday. I found myself saying out loud "Damn Joe(not his real name) I feel so awful for you. I wish there was something I could do for you. I can't imagine the holidays without your mother with you. I can't imagine any day not having your mother around. I feel sorry for you Joe and sorry for you Mrs. Smith(again not her real name) that your life was taken so soon." Then I started balling.
Again with the tears.
I feel other people's pain.... I don't know how to describe it. I just feel for others so deeply, more than "normal" people do. If someone is sad, I am sad. If someone is angry, then I start to feel angry too. I hate when I'm around angry people...it's very annoying for me to say the least. I wish there was something to describe this.
Maybe I'm just weird....ahem...I mean unique.
Or maybe I do need to get out more.
Maybe this is where my youngest twin gets it from...me. He is very sensitive. Very sensitive to others. Very sensitive to animals and nature. He cries at so many movies. Some movies I've never even cried at before but because he is crying I'm crying too.
Saving Christmas we both cried like babies when the boy had to give Christmas back to the shelter. Saving Christmas is the movie....for the record.
The other day he called me from the grocery store where his dad shops and he was outside with his brother while their dad shopped with their sister. He calls me to tell me they found a pigeon in the parking lot. It had an injured leg. It was bent...pretty much broken. Poor thing was hobbling all around. The sadness and concern in his voice made me feel bad for that poor bird too. He kept telling me how they are feeding it and how the sprinklers are on so the bird has water to drink. He took a video and sent it to me.
He called me back when they were driving off and said some stupid teenage punks(my words not his here) were kicking that pigeon and laughing at it. I hope karma got those kids good. Shame on them! I could hear the worry in his voice and I tried to reassure him that the bird would be okay. He's part of nature and he will find safety until his leg is better.
Such a sweet kid he is. I don't care what anyone says about my boys, yes they can be a handful, even angry tyrants once in a while that can destroy a room with the kick of a foot but they are not mean, especially my youngest twin. That child has a soul that is so pure and loving. He's going to go places when he gets older. He is going to do something great with his life some day and it's going to either deal with animals, insects or humanity.
Ever see the movie Mimzy? He's just like the main character in that movie. The little girl with the compassion and understanding well beyond the years of the adults around her.
Anyway, after thinking about my friend and his mom and talking into thin air or whomever happens to be listening from the other side of the other world like a guardian angel or the cricket in my kitchen(who, by the way I named Jiminy), I decided I was going to get up and take a break.
So here I am.
Taking a break.
Now I have to go.
It's already 7:16 I can't believe this day is almost over and I have to go back to work tomorrow. So much for a non-busy weekend of relaxation.
Oh well.
Will be back sometime this week.
Have a wonderful week to whomever passes by my blog this week.
Three hours and a $4.00 meal consisting of a hot dog and small coke from Target later and I'm finally back in the comfort of home. I ran to Walmart, Walgreens and Target for my Christmas treasures for the kids. I sure hope they like what they got. I had 200 bucks to shop with and a gift cards I got from two of the parents at my work. One I received back in March from a parent whose son left my room, the other was a gift from a very nice grandparent of one of our former students.
Bless them both.
Thank you parents for helping with my shopping this year.
I'm exhausted now.
Just want to go to sleep. I have one more set of gifts to wrap and I'm done. I had to take a break. It's really lonely on the floor there wrapping all those gifts. Even the birds are quiet.
I was in Walmart and I heard this dad yelling to his daughter as they passed by me, "I have nowhere to put that reindeer at home."
"But dad--,"
"Put that back now! It's too much. We don't need another reindeer." I couldn't help but laugh out loud as they went by me.
Then another guy is yelling at his wife to decide which set of lights she wanted so they can go. "We've been here for hours, just pick one already so we can go!"
I know men are hunters, women are gatherers. Men were not meant to peruse aisles, especially the aisles with the "Christmas Junk" as some men will call it, and most especially not with their wives in the "Christmas Junk" aisle. That is like taking a woman out to a car show and lifting the hood while explaining what the catalytic converter does and why transmission fluid is a vital component to ones car running smoothly.
"You lost me when you lifted the hood honey. Can we go now?"
Head to Target and some dad is telling his two young girls, "We are just getting something small today. Christmas is just around the corner." I wanted to tell that dad, "Why are you even here with Christmas just around the corner anyway? Your kids don't have enough crap already? Can't wait 10 more days to let them have their toys?"
Must be rough when you can just randomly buy your kids toys for no reason.
That's my sarcasm by the way.
Then I went to Walgreen's and these two women were in front of me. The one woman sounded like she was from England or somewhere around there. She had this really amazing accent. She was probably about 60-something and her daughter was about my age. They are standing in line and the older woman says to me "Where'd you find that?" and I told her which aisle and said it was for my 10-yr old son. She proceeds to tell her daughter, "Ten, her son is ten. That would be perfect." The daughter already got something apparently and was telling me all about it. Then the mother was playing with the little (annoying I'm sure to the clerk working the counter but funny to the rest of us) stuffed penguin that sang "Donde esta Santa Claus?" when you push the button and shook it's little yellow and red maracas.
Cute.
Then she hit the button again and it stopped. Then she started it up, or tried to and said "I think I broke it." She kept on going though and eventually it started back up again.
I was cracking up at her. She was hilarious.
So she has this angel tree topper and the daughter says she'll pay for it, the mom says no, and they go back and forth finally the daughter pays for it and I see the mom wander over to the counter behind us where there is a stuffed snowman. I looked at the daughter and said "I don't think she's done shopping yet," then I laughed.
I wished them a Merry Christmas and they wished me one back.
Out the door they went.
I get home with the purchase I got and I was so mad. Got home and the damn thing didn't work. Can't say what it is though, my kids read my blog. So I had to take it back. I didn't want to go and was going to go tomorrow, but I knew if I did they would all be gone because as my luck would have it they were five bucks off.
I was so happy.
I found this out(the sale that is) the first time I went there(out of three trips there) when I went to the register and she rang up my items. I said, "Oh! It's on sale! Yay!" Woman behind me says "It would be nice if they would tell you that before you get to the counter," in a rather annoyed voice. Bah humbug you, don't ruin my happy day is what I wanted to say.
So the cashier rings me up and tells me I have points to redeem...a whopping three bucks off my purchase. "Sure!" I'll redeem those points!" Then she hands me my receipt and a coupon for $2.00 of a purchase of 10 bucks or more. I looked at her and the lady behind me and said, "Who needs mega-millions when you have Walgreens?!"
I know I should get out a hell of a lot more than I do.
Got home and began the daunting task of sorting, wrapping and labeling. Ugh. This use to be fun for me. I use to love doing this. But when there is no one to talk to..well...it's just kind of...boring.
I tried lighting the tree, putting on Christmas music and getting "into it".
Just couldn't do it.
My heart wanted to be into this, but my head had other plans.
I was thinking about a friend of mine who lost his mother yesterday. I found myself saying out loud "Damn Joe(not his real name) I feel so awful for you. I wish there was something I could do for you. I can't imagine the holidays without your mother with you. I can't imagine any day not having your mother around. I feel sorry for you Joe and sorry for you Mrs. Smith(again not her real name) that your life was taken so soon." Then I started balling.
Again with the tears.
I feel other people's pain.... I don't know how to describe it. I just feel for others so deeply, more than "normal" people do. If someone is sad, I am sad. If someone is angry, then I start to feel angry too. I hate when I'm around angry people...it's very annoying for me to say the least. I wish there was something to describe this.
Maybe I'm just weird....ahem...I mean unique.
Or maybe I do need to get out more.
Maybe this is where my youngest twin gets it from...me. He is very sensitive. Very sensitive to others. Very sensitive to animals and nature. He cries at so many movies. Some movies I've never even cried at before but because he is crying I'm crying too.
Saving Christmas we both cried like babies when the boy had to give Christmas back to the shelter. Saving Christmas is the movie....for the record.
The other day he called me from the grocery store where his dad shops and he was outside with his brother while their dad shopped with their sister. He calls me to tell me they found a pigeon in the parking lot. It had an injured leg. It was bent...pretty much broken. Poor thing was hobbling all around. The sadness and concern in his voice made me feel bad for that poor bird too. He kept telling me how they are feeding it and how the sprinklers are on so the bird has water to drink. He took a video and sent it to me.
He called me back when they were driving off and said some stupid teenage punks(my words not his here) were kicking that pigeon and laughing at it. I hope karma got those kids good. Shame on them! I could hear the worry in his voice and I tried to reassure him that the bird would be okay. He's part of nature and he will find safety until his leg is better.
Such a sweet kid he is. I don't care what anyone says about my boys, yes they can be a handful, even angry tyrants once in a while that can destroy a room with the kick of a foot but they are not mean, especially my youngest twin. That child has a soul that is so pure and loving. He's going to go places when he gets older. He is going to do something great with his life some day and it's going to either deal with animals, insects or humanity.
Ever see the movie Mimzy? He's just like the main character in that movie. The little girl with the compassion and understanding well beyond the years of the adults around her.
Anyway, after thinking about my friend and his mom and talking into thin air or whomever happens to be listening from the other side of the other world like a guardian angel or the cricket in my kitchen(who, by the way I named Jiminy), I decided I was going to get up and take a break.
So here I am.
Taking a break.
Now I have to go.
It's already 7:16 I can't believe this day is almost over and I have to go back to work tomorrow. So much for a non-busy weekend of relaxation.
Oh well.
Will be back sometime this week.
Have a wonderful week to whomever passes by my blog this week.
Thank You Mom
I don't know how many people have a really close relationship with their mothers. I know I have a fairly good relationship with my mom and perhaps I might feel closer to her if I lived closer to her. I love my mom with every part of my being. She is a strong woman and has done so much for so many people I don't know how she did it, but she did and still continues to do for others, selflessly I might add, to this day.
She is rather humble as well. And doesn't like to toot her own horn so to speak. I'm still going to post this blog anyway, because I think the world needs to know just how awesome my mom really is. I'm not going to dish every little family story about my mom, just the highlights....because there isn't enough time to cover every bit of awesomeness in my mom here.
Being the sole bread-winner in our family for the past 30 some years she worked a grave yard shift while we were just little kids and managed to still run a brownie troop, clean house, do laundry, woke us up for school on time, even made us breakfast which often was an egg-in-a-bread, pancakes or my all time favorite...oatmeal.
It wasn't just cold cereal dumped in a bowl with milk. She made us a real breakfast.
Thank you mom.
There were times I made my mother angry growing up and even as a grown up. I don't want to hurt my mother, and sometimes as mothers we want what's best for our children and as children we don't always see it that way. I myself have given advice to my own children, and I can "see" the eye rolls or hear the sighs in their voices on the phone, those same sighs I gave my mother when she too gave me the same advice.
I remember mornings waking up and seeing her sitting in the kitchen, cup of coffee in hand reading a paper or just sitting at the table. She would be up some mornings at 2 or 3 a.m. doing random household chores like laundry or dishes or taking care of us with a sore throat, stomach ache or some other child hood illness. I don't know how she did it. She'd literally go on just a few hours of sleep and manage to make a meal, deal with an argument between me and/or my siblings, bake a cake for a party and still go to work on time every night. Healthy or sick as a dog, my mother would grab her lunch, her keys and purse and head out the door to work. Rain, snow, sleet or chill of night she drove to work every night to provide us with a roof over our head and food on the table, clothes on our backs and gifts at Christmas and birthdays. I often think about that when I am doing the same thing. When I am faced with tackling the same duties in my own home I am often reminded of what my mother did back when I was growing up and think to myself, "I don't know how she did it."
We always think that our mothers will be here forever. So we may not say what we want to say and then realize when it's too late what we wanted to say when they were here. This is my way of saying to my mom just how much I love her and appreciate all she has done for me over the years. How thankful I am to have her in my life. How I wish I lived closer. How I wish I had done things in my life so differently so I didn't have to live so far away from her. So I can reciprocate all the things she has done for me and show my appreciation for her unconditional love and support through the years to me and my children.
Some people may not have a close relationship with their mothers. I feel sorry for those people. To not share a Christmas dinner with their mothers or pick up a phone and say "How are you doing today mom?" is just something I cannot fathom. Our moms won't be here forever. They are only here one lifetime. No argument is worth a severed relationship with one's mother. I don't care who you are. If you are rich and famous and think you don't "need" your mother anymore, you are wrong. Because a mother's love is never-ending and no husband/boyfriend, wife/girlfriend, best friend and no material possessions can ever replace a mother's love in my opinion anyway. Swallow your pride, make amends and say you're sorry and fix that broken relationship with your mother. Because God forbid one day she isn't here anymore, you will never, ever forgive yourself and the guilt will eat you up.
Guaranteed.
I don't have the luxury of getting in my van and driving to my mom's house to take her to lunch or share a cup of coffee in the morning with her out in her back yard in the summertime. I don't have the ability to go over for pizza and a game night with my kids to grandma's house because grandma lives 2000 miles away. My kids are constantly asking me "When can we go see grandma?" Breaks my heart because a trip to grandma's doesn't cost a gallon of gas, it costs more than what I make in a month's salary these days. So I just tell them "Someday."
Some people may not have a close relationship with their mothers. I feel sorry for those people. To not share a Christmas dinner with their mothers or pick up a phone and say "How are you doing today mom?" is just something I cannot fathom. Our moms won't be here forever. They are only here one lifetime. No argument is worth a severed relationship with one's mother. I don't care who you are. If you are rich and famous and think you don't "need" your mother anymore, you are wrong. Because a mother's love is never-ending and no husband/boyfriend, wife/girlfriend, best friend and no material possessions can ever replace a mother's love in my opinion anyway. Swallow your pride, make amends and say you're sorry and fix that broken relationship with your mother. Because God forbid one day she isn't here anymore, you will never, ever forgive yourself and the guilt will eat you up.
Guaranteed.
I don't have the luxury of getting in my van and driving to my mom's house to take her to lunch or share a cup of coffee in the morning with her out in her back yard in the summertime. I don't have the ability to go over for pizza and a game night with my kids to grandma's house because grandma lives 2000 miles away. My kids are constantly asking me "When can we go see grandma?" Breaks my heart because a trip to grandma's doesn't cost a gallon of gas, it costs more than what I make in a month's salary these days. So I just tell them "Someday."
I visited home this past summer. I enjoyed my visit so much and a friend of mine invited me to stay with her a night or two but I couldn't do it. Because in all honesty I didn't want to leave my mom's. That was my home. That IS home. I had so little time to try and get as many memories as I could with my family. We laughed so hard some nights and despite some minor drama that happened during my visit, I didn't want to leave.
And then it came.
That day when I had to say good bye. I wanted it to drag out longer. I didn't want to have to walk out that door of the house that made me feel safe, with the one woman who, throughout my life protected and comforted me. My son took my suitcases to the car and we drove to the bus station. We said our good byes. I couldn't stop crying as I looked out the bus window at my mother, son and father standing there near the building at the bus station. I wanted to jump off the bus and not come back here. I wanted to hug my mom just another minute longer.
So thank you mom for being there for me. Thank you for not hating me when I was sometimes a sassy mouthy brat and thank you for doing all you do, not just for me but for others as well. You are an inspiration. You are someone special. It takes a strong woman to do what you do and to handle all that comes your way.
I admire you and I love you more than words can say.
I admire you and I love you more than words can say.
Friday, December 13, 2013
Friday the 13th....Just Another Day on the Calendar For Me
I just got done taking out my pepperoni and sausage pizza from the oven.
On my way to the stove, I was greeted by a not so little cricket hanging out in my kitchen. I almost stepped on the poor guy. Lucky for him(and the bottom of my sock) I saw him before my foot did. I said "Oh hey there! You scared me!" He just crawled along to the side of my sink cabinets and he is now hanging out near the living room/kitchen entryway under the cabinet.
Yes, my life has resorted to talking to the crickets in my home now. I'm actually kind of relieved. At least he's real, unlike Norman my imaginary friend here. (I must find that blog post that explains "Norman" it's a joke between a friend of mine and I about when I find myself talking out loud in anger, sadness or utter glee on the rare moment that glee happens.)
Anyway, so I got my pizza and a drink of the soda variety, and sat my tired and content ass down here at the computer. Thought I would blog a little and play a little Papa Pear as well. I was on this stupid level 111 for what seemed like an eternity. It was more or less 2 1/2 to 3 weeks of my evenings and weekends that I played on that stupid level. So, as my luck would have it, on what some folks consider to be the most unluckiest day of the year, my luck changed and I finally got those damn carrots all down and got the score target to advance to the next level.
Got through level 112 unscathed and I am now on level 113, and from the looks of things it may be another Friday the 13th before I get another level up.
This pizza is pretty tasty. I happen to hate pepperoni, but for some reason this pepperoni is bearable. They didn't have any just sausage or just cheese pizzas out there at the store I went to, so I settled for this one. Didn't feel like getting out of my van again just to go and purchase some sort of Taco surprise from Taco Bell which is the only thing within my budget these days when "dining out" so to speak.
Another random thought, lately I've been having random thoughts from my life popping in and out of my head. It's the weirdest thing. I was thinking about my grandmother's house, thinking about a time when I dated my first husband(been married twice if you must know), thought about when I lived with a friend of mine before I dated my first husband, thought about my second husband for a brief moment and then that was gone. It wasn't like I was missing these people, but I could "see" in my mind different scenarios from our past together. Nothing romantic, just random things. An apartment, or a certain bar we'd frequent. I also had visions of sugar plums dance through my head....not really...just wondering who is still paying attention here.
I also had these thoughts of my childhood, a cousin of mine and when we use to sing "Let it be, let it be, let it be let it be...simple words of wisdom let it beeeee..." She probably doesn't remember doing that, but I do. It wasn't anything really important in my life these snippets, but they are coming out en mass lately. My childhood bedroom or a neighbor, or time I spent with my kids long ago, who are now adults or moved to another state.
It's weird.
I know people think about people they miss or love/d at one time, but these stupid thoughts happen during my work day, when I need to be working. I'm usually still working when they come, but I'm mopping a spill, or wiping a table, stuff like that. When my mind is not busy forming words to interact with others is when these thoughts pop up.
It's not like I'm trying to think of someone or maybe, perhaps someone is thinking of me??
Don't know.
*shrugs*
Done eating pizza now.
What else can I talk about here? While I literally will hear crickets chirping soon I'm sure.
Nope that's just the birds.
Today at work was "listen to the preschoolers say all the naughty words they know day". Not really, but it sure seemed like it. We had a couple of kids who decided to share their not so nice words with the rest of the class today at random times throughout the day.
*some days it's just too damn hard to keep a straight face*
I'm telling you this next full moon has kids, all kids, my kids at work and at my house just saying and doing things they normally wouldn't say.
This should be called the "Naughty Moon" because in all honesty kids have been naughty this entire week.
A bag of coal will line their stockings this Christmas if they aren't careful and make amends for the naughtiness they have succumbed to this week. I am talking about my kids at home now, my flesh and blood kids more than the kids at work. Because those kids are babies, my kids are MY babies, but not babies anymore.
(still with me?)
My kids need to make some serious amends here soon. Nicer to their sister for starters and lay off the phrase "Shut up" when it comes to all three of them here and not just my boys.
We planned our Christmas Eve dinner.
It is as follows:
Turkey
Green Bean Casserole
Pillsbury Buttery Crescent Rolls(Tons of them as my boys requested. They could probably eat a whole can of each of those by themselves...I'm going with 2 packs of rolls, that's 16 crescents...that should hold them over for a bit)
Mashed Potatoes and Gravy
Creamed Spinach(if I can find the damn recipe...yeah I know...GOOGLE IT)
This is in addition to the dessert spread we will have before us which will include but is not limited to, this:
Roshky
Baklava
Cherry Cream Cheese mini tarts
Nut Cups
And of course the ever popular around our house this time of year....the magical gingerbread cookies this time made with the milk and honey added before we throw the dough in the fridge.
Sugar cookies
All of these items baked by me( and some with the assistance of my mini-pastry-chefs here).
I thought about putting this into two different blog posts.
I'm too lazy to do that, so I'm just gonna keep right on typing and you (whomever you are) can continue reading if you choose to do so.
My son saw a wolf the other day on our way to work/school for them. He was the only one who saw it's face. I didn't see it at all nor did my daughter. I meant to look up the Wolf/Coyote totem and see what it means. (Let me do that now while I am talking about this). I explained to my son that the Native Americans believed in spirit guides, animal guides and totems. Not sure which one this is for him if it is even anything at all, could have just been a random sighting of the wonders of nature.
They wanted to know what this coyote/wolf(he wasn't sure which one it was, it sounded like a coyote from his description but he kept saying it might be a wolf) was doing in the desert near the freeway. We are close to the mountains anywhere here in sin city, so any type of animal is likely to be found on/near your local freeway and neighborhood driveway. I said that he was probably looking for food, or lost his pack, or just felt like taking a vacation.
Okay I didn't say that last part, but maybe this coyote/wolf was like "Seriously? Another coyote pack trip to visit the dog on the corner of 9th and Owens(making the street up here, not sure if 9th crosses owens out here or not. Not even sure if there is a 9th street if there is it's downtown somewhere. Okay back to the coyote's conversation with the pack here...). I'm heading over to the middle of the desert near the busy freeway where I could possibly endanger my own life by dodging cars, but it will be fun to scare the living daylights out of the humans when I growl".
*time for me to end this blog maybe??*
Anyway, I want to link this to my blog here. I have to show my son this when he comes back in a week.
Here is an interesting site I just found when I googled coyote: http://www.spiritanimal.info/coyote-spirit-animal/
Alrighty then.
Tomorrow we will be discussing religion/spirituality and all that fun stuff. I had a really interesting conversation with my children about religion/spirituality today.
Have a lovely morning/noon/evening.
On my way to the stove, I was greeted by a not so little cricket hanging out in my kitchen. I almost stepped on the poor guy. Lucky for him(and the bottom of my sock) I saw him before my foot did. I said "Oh hey there! You scared me!" He just crawled along to the side of my sink cabinets and he is now hanging out near the living room/kitchen entryway under the cabinet.
Yes, my life has resorted to talking to the crickets in my home now. I'm actually kind of relieved. At least he's real, unlike Norman my imaginary friend here. (I must find that blog post that explains "Norman" it's a joke between a friend of mine and I about when I find myself talking out loud in anger, sadness or utter glee on the rare moment that glee happens.)
Anyway, so I got my pizza and a drink of the soda variety, and sat my tired and content ass down here at the computer. Thought I would blog a little and play a little Papa Pear as well. I was on this stupid level 111 for what seemed like an eternity. It was more or less 2 1/2 to 3 weeks of my evenings and weekends that I played on that stupid level. So, as my luck would have it, on what some folks consider to be the most unluckiest day of the year, my luck changed and I finally got those damn carrots all down and got the score target to advance to the next level.
Got through level 112 unscathed and I am now on level 113, and from the looks of things it may be another Friday the 13th before I get another level up.
This pizza is pretty tasty. I happen to hate pepperoni, but for some reason this pepperoni is bearable. They didn't have any just sausage or just cheese pizzas out there at the store I went to, so I settled for this one. Didn't feel like getting out of my van again just to go and purchase some sort of Taco surprise from Taco Bell which is the only thing within my budget these days when "dining out" so to speak.
Another random thought, lately I've been having random thoughts from my life popping in and out of my head. It's the weirdest thing. I was thinking about my grandmother's house, thinking about a time when I dated my first husband(been married twice if you must know), thought about when I lived with a friend of mine before I dated my first husband, thought about my second husband for a brief moment and then that was gone. It wasn't like I was missing these people, but I could "see" in my mind different scenarios from our past together. Nothing romantic, just random things. An apartment, or a certain bar we'd frequent. I also had visions of sugar plums dance through my head....not really...just wondering who is still paying attention here.
I also had these thoughts of my childhood, a cousin of mine and when we use to sing "Let it be, let it be, let it be let it be...simple words of wisdom let it beeeee..." She probably doesn't remember doing that, but I do. It wasn't anything really important in my life these snippets, but they are coming out en mass lately. My childhood bedroom or a neighbor, or time I spent with my kids long ago, who are now adults or moved to another state.
It's weird.
I know people think about people they miss or love/d at one time, but these stupid thoughts happen during my work day, when I need to be working. I'm usually still working when they come, but I'm mopping a spill, or wiping a table, stuff like that. When my mind is not busy forming words to interact with others is when these thoughts pop up.
It's not like I'm trying to think of someone or maybe, perhaps someone is thinking of me??
Don't know.
*shrugs*
Done eating pizza now.
What else can I talk about here? While I literally will hear crickets chirping soon I'm sure.
Nope that's just the birds.
Today at work was "listen to the preschoolers say all the naughty words they know day". Not really, but it sure seemed like it. We had a couple of kids who decided to share their not so nice words with the rest of the class today at random times throughout the day.
*some days it's just too damn hard to keep a straight face*
I'm telling you this next full moon has kids, all kids, my kids at work and at my house just saying and doing things they normally wouldn't say.
This should be called the "Naughty Moon" because in all honesty kids have been naughty this entire week.
A bag of coal will line their stockings this Christmas if they aren't careful and make amends for the naughtiness they have succumbed to this week. I am talking about my kids at home now, my flesh and blood kids more than the kids at work. Because those kids are babies, my kids are MY babies, but not babies anymore.
(still with me?)
My kids need to make some serious amends here soon. Nicer to their sister for starters and lay off the phrase "Shut up" when it comes to all three of them here and not just my boys.
We planned our Christmas Eve dinner.
It is as follows:
Turkey
Green Bean Casserole
Pillsbury Buttery Crescent Rolls(Tons of them as my boys requested. They could probably eat a whole can of each of those by themselves...I'm going with 2 packs of rolls, that's 16 crescents...that should hold them over for a bit)
Mashed Potatoes and Gravy
Creamed Spinach(if I can find the damn recipe...yeah I know...GOOGLE IT)
This is in addition to the dessert spread we will have before us which will include but is not limited to, this:
Roshky
Baklava
Cherry Cream Cheese mini tarts
Nut Cups
And of course the ever popular around our house this time of year....the magical gingerbread cookies this time made with the milk and honey added before we throw the dough in the fridge.
Sugar cookies
All of these items baked by me( and some with the assistance of my mini-pastry-chefs here).
I thought about putting this into two different blog posts.
I'm too lazy to do that, so I'm just gonna keep right on typing and you (whomever you are) can continue reading if you choose to do so.
My son saw a wolf the other day on our way to work/school for them. He was the only one who saw it's face. I didn't see it at all nor did my daughter. I meant to look up the Wolf/Coyote totem and see what it means. (Let me do that now while I am talking about this). I explained to my son that the Native Americans believed in spirit guides, animal guides and totems. Not sure which one this is for him if it is even anything at all, could have just been a random sighting of the wonders of nature.
They wanted to know what this coyote/wolf(he wasn't sure which one it was, it sounded like a coyote from his description but he kept saying it might be a wolf) was doing in the desert near the freeway. We are close to the mountains anywhere here in sin city, so any type of animal is likely to be found on/near your local freeway and neighborhood driveway. I said that he was probably looking for food, or lost his pack, or just felt like taking a vacation.
Okay I didn't say that last part, but maybe this coyote/wolf was like "Seriously? Another coyote pack trip to visit the dog on the corner of 9th and Owens(making the street up here, not sure if 9th crosses owens out here or not. Not even sure if there is a 9th street if there is it's downtown somewhere. Okay back to the coyote's conversation with the pack here...). I'm heading over to the middle of the desert near the busy freeway where I could possibly endanger my own life by dodging cars, but it will be fun to scare the living daylights out of the humans when I growl".
*time for me to end this blog maybe??*
Anyway, I want to link this to my blog here. I have to show my son this when he comes back in a week.
Here is an interesting site I just found when I googled coyote: http://www.spiritanimal.info/coyote-spirit-animal/
Alrighty then.
Tomorrow we will be discussing religion/spirituality and all that fun stuff. I had a really interesting conversation with my children about religion/spirituality today.
Have a lovely morning/noon/evening.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Post #170....Eh...I'm Running Out of Catchy Blog Titles
I FOUND THE REMOTE!!!!
I am once again a happy camper here. I don't know how I didn't see it before. I looked for it in vain for the past week, checked under the couch what felt like fifty times and never saw it. However, it's black so very hard to see under a large couch with a black cloth that drapes a bit in the middle bottom of the couch.
I also found my kitchen and my living room. My daughter found her bedroom. I was so proud of her I didn't even have to ask her to do it, she just did it. Cleaned and organized her closet, floor and even vacuumed. I was so happy to see her enthusiasm with cleaning around here. Any cleaning is highly appreciated in this place. Especially when I don't have to grovel and beg to have it done.
I'm still waiting on my oldest twin to do the bathroom that he said he'd do for me hours ago. Thinking I may have to cave and just do it myself.
Today wasn't a bad day. I dread tomorrow though. I always hate Mondays. This is how I pretty much feel on any given Monday:
Magickal Graphics
I am once again a happy camper here. I don't know how I didn't see it before. I looked for it in vain for the past week, checked under the couch what felt like fifty times and never saw it. However, it's black so very hard to see under a large couch with a black cloth that drapes a bit in the middle bottom of the couch.
I also found my kitchen and my living room. My daughter found her bedroom. I was so proud of her I didn't even have to ask her to do it, she just did it. Cleaned and organized her closet, floor and even vacuumed. I was so happy to see her enthusiasm with cleaning around here. Any cleaning is highly appreciated in this place. Especially when I don't have to grovel and beg to have it done.
I'm still waiting on my oldest twin to do the bathroom that he said he'd do for me hours ago. Thinking I may have to cave and just do it myself.
Today wasn't a bad day. I dread tomorrow though. I always hate Mondays. This is how I pretty much feel on any given Monday:
I'll take a Tuesday any day, or better yet eternal Fridays. That would be lovely.
I love these graphics on this website I use. It's called MagickalGraphics and I have a button for it located on my main blog page. Check the site out. I'm not sure if new graphics are posted anymore, because I found this site back in the Myspace Days of long ago. (Yes, Myspace, Remember that site?) I use to love changing the backgrounds and images on my profile page to either a) suit my mood for the week or b) the season we were in. I had a crap load of graphics and playlists and I just had a fun time on there. Then they changed the format. Tried to be more like Facebook and less like Myspace. Whatever happened to not succumbing to peer pressure, being unique, like the formula in Coca-Cola?
I left as in I never went back.
Sure I still have all my photos and blogs and what not over there. But I have not graced the pages of Myspace in at least six months, when I went to look for some photos of my kids that I wanted to view again. Haven't been there since.
This whole social media thing has gotten out of hand anyway. Personal interaction is being replaced with texts and instant messages. I am not a big fan of that at all as I know you are aware if you read my blog on a daily basis. This blog *HERE* explains it more in detail. I won't rehash what has already been hashed around here.
I've said my peace on the topic.
My kids and I had the most delicious dinner. They said it was better than a Thanksgiving feast. We had cheesy chicken and rice casserole with broccoli in it, green bean casserole, salad with ranch and crackers sprinkled in it, and my all time favorite dinner item....Pillsbury Buttery Crescent Rolls. Yum, Yum, Yum!!!!
I could eat the whole roll of those crescents myself they are so yummy!
We watched the Detroit/Philly game today. Goodness, it was like watching the Bad News Bears(not the ones from Chicago, the baseball kids from the movie). Those grown men were out there, in at least six inches of snow(probably more)out there on the field, sliding and skidding around that field. At one point I saw the quarterback throw the ball and hit someone in the head. I was cracking up, as were my boys, when that happened. It looked hysterical. All the fumbles, all the guys falling into that snow, it looked like fun. My boys kept saying they wished they could play football in that snow too.
Hate to break it to ya boys, but that won't happen here in Vegas.
Then we played some Sorry! and I swear that was the longest game of Sorry! I ever played. We kept sending each other back to start and I thought I'd never get anything done around this place. I didn't care really, because whenever the game ended the mess would still be in the apartment anyway. I also played a few games with my daughter before the boys woke up. That was fun spending time with just her. I love my boys, but it's nice to have some mommy daughter time together once in a while.
She asked me if we could go get our nails done sometime. I said "Sweetie, when mommy can afford an actual manicure we'll BOTH go."
She smiled.
Breaks my heart. Would love to do something like that once a year, but right now in my life, it's not gonna happen anytime soon.
It's Monday Morning here. I didn't get to finish my blog last night because the kids and I baked some cookies and played some Sorry! and a couple of games of Rummy. We were laughing so hard at one point the boys and I had tears in our eyes. They made a comment somehow using the planet Uranus in whatever they said and the look on my youngest twins face, the seriousness of it just made me lose it. You know all little kids seem to have fun with that word at least once in their lifetime. We didn't get to bed until well after midnight as we started watching some episodes of Friends on TV. I sure hope my kids wake up this morning. I also hope my van starts. The wind chill out here was 17 degrees this morning according to one of our local meteorolgist's Facebook page. I have a feeling I may be a tiny bit late this morning. Let's hope not as I already lost two days worth of pay due to the Thanksgiving day 4-day weekend.
I have to finish my Christmas shopping. It's times like this I wish I had a special someone. A special someone who could load all the toys into my van and help me carry them up a flight of stairs to my apartment. A special someone who could even wrap them with me. But I don't have a special someone other than myself, so fighting crowds, standing in line for an hour and carrying the toys up the steps will belong to me only. I don't want a special someone, I have a few guy friends, but none that I want to date. Either they are married or simply not my type. After all the failed relationships I have been in I am very, very picky about who I would choose to date and those specifications are the reason I am still single...and for the most part happy.
Stupid Hallmark movies are the reason I get all weepy around this time of year and realize just how alone I am. Actually those movies aren't stupid just the happy couples in them are. Of course, as usual, I watch them, I miss being a "couple" with someone and then it passes after that stupid New Year's Kiss moment goes by and the new year starts over.
Then I'm fine again.
Well, it's almost time for me to get ready for work and wake the kids. Sure hope they are cooperative this morning. They hate Mondays as much as I do.
I hope whomever stops by my page has a lovely Monday. Have a lovely week in the event you don't come back here. Have a lovely life as well I suppose. (hee hee)
Okay time to scoot here. I have lots to do before 9 a.m. starting out with bracing for that windy chill outside and motivating myself to go out there to begin with.
It's Monday Morning here. I didn't get to finish my blog last night because the kids and I baked some cookies and played some Sorry! and a couple of games of Rummy. We were laughing so hard at one point the boys and I had tears in our eyes. They made a comment somehow using the planet Uranus in whatever they said and the look on my youngest twins face, the seriousness of it just made me lose it. You know all little kids seem to have fun with that word at least once in their lifetime. We didn't get to bed until well after midnight as we started watching some episodes of Friends on TV. I sure hope my kids wake up this morning. I also hope my van starts. The wind chill out here was 17 degrees this morning according to one of our local meteorolgist's Facebook page. I have a feeling I may be a tiny bit late this morning. Let's hope not as I already lost two days worth of pay due to the Thanksgiving day 4-day weekend.
I have to finish my Christmas shopping. It's times like this I wish I had a special someone. A special someone who could load all the toys into my van and help me carry them up a flight of stairs to my apartment. A special someone who could even wrap them with me. But I don't have a special someone other than myself, so fighting crowds, standing in line for an hour and carrying the toys up the steps will belong to me only. I don't want a special someone, I have a few guy friends, but none that I want to date. Either they are married or simply not my type. After all the failed relationships I have been in I am very, very picky about who I would choose to date and those specifications are the reason I am still single...and for the most part happy.
Stupid Hallmark movies are the reason I get all weepy around this time of year and realize just how alone I am. Actually those movies aren't stupid just the happy couples in them are. Of course, as usual, I watch them, I miss being a "couple" with someone and then it passes after that stupid New Year's Kiss moment goes by and the new year starts over.
Then I'm fine again.
Well, it's almost time for me to get ready for work and wake the kids. Sure hope they are cooperative this morning. They hate Mondays as much as I do.
I hope whomever stops by my page has a lovely Monday. Have a lovely week in the event you don't come back here. Have a lovely life as well I suppose. (hee hee)
Okay time to scoot here. I have lots to do before 9 a.m. starting out with bracing for that windy chill outside and motivating myself to go out there to begin with.
Magickal Graphics
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