I am so very glad tomorrow is Friday.
I seriously wanted to ask my boss for less hours, I am literally killing myself at that job of mine. By Friday, I have barely any energy to speak of and today one of the kids where I work got behind my foot and I didn't see her and twisted my back as I fell and caught myself trying not to land on her in her pretty little dress.
Yes, this is what we called classroom aerobics. That was the gymnastics portion in the class. I should have scored a 10 on that one.
Getting back to that question for my boss, I talked to her this afternoon during my lunch break, and as it turns out I'll be in a room with a wonderful work friend of mine, so I can't leave her hanging. She drove me to the airport when I got the hell out of dodge for a week.
I feel like I still owe her a kidney.
So I didn't even ask about fewer hours. I want to spend more time with my kids, but I need the money and I don't really want to give up a kidney if I don't have to.
Anyway, tonight I went to the grocery store. Spent 100 bucks and when I saw how many bags that kid put in my cart after my groceries were bagged up, all I thought was "Shit, now I have to carry this up to my second floor apartment."
I thought about asking the kid to drive home with me, it's just down the street after all and I could have gotten him a cab back to work. But I don't think they do that out here. Maybe somewhere in the middle of Iowa, or some rinky dink little town in Tennessee, but here in the Metropolis of Vegas, they don't have the mom and pop atmosphere they do in the quaint and quiet cities and towns.
So I started unloading my groceries when I got home. Grabbed as many bags as I could carry, I think I had 4 on each arm, lost a roll of paper towels on the way to the steps but I had a momentum going and just kept moving forward, then began my journey up the flight of stairs.
I forgot to mention, it was almost 9 pm here, the sun had completely set, and it was 101 degrees.. Yeah, you saw that right, 101 degrees...in the dark no less.
I made 3 trips total.
The last trip was a three-pack of Capri Suns(36 of those stupid suckers all total), and dammit my kids better appreciate those Capri-Suns. For the effort it took me to get them up the stairs anyway. I grabbed the three-pack, put two magazines on top and my 12 pack of soda was on top of that. Not exactly the brightest thing to do, as the magazines made it like a circus act to balance the soda. At one point I almost lost my soda as I lifted my leg to balance the drinks and magazines between my boobs and my knee so I could shut the damn door to the Beast.
I got it to the top of the steps then I had to get it in the apartment. I swear if I didn't lose at least 5 pounds on this journey, well, then I should at least win a medal or something.
This heat is crazy.
I don't know how the early settlers did it. I was driving home today, windows open as you all very well know (avid readers anyway) that my A/C in the van is crap, and it was 107 out today the breeze that traveled through the beast was like sticking your head in the oven when the broiler is on.
Not that I've ever done that before. I'm just assuming that is what it would feel like, ya know?
I think I got a sunburn just from the wind beating against my face. Forget spray tans or tanning beds, just open your windows on a triple-digit desert day!
If I were an early settler, I'd of died the second that first wind blew and I walked the first mile. Driving is one thing, but walking in this crap is insane. I feel sorry for people who have to walk in this. Or stand outside waiting for a bus. Or working in this stuff, that is just beyond belief that people work in this weather. I see all the construction workers on the road, and the builders in the communities putting up all those houses and I think "How the hell do they not keel over and die in this crap?"
I simply walk out the door to get my mail, and I melt.
There is suppose to be isolated Thunderstorms on Saturday.
There BETTER be some storms. Some really good storms. So good that they cause the ground to cool down to about 65 degrees.
Yeah right.
Well, it's that time of night for me. I hear the couch calling my name. I hear the sounds of silence. "Hello darkness my old friend...." Great now that song is stuck in my head. Not a bad tune, I feel the inner hippy in me coming out. I'm not much of a hippy really, but perhaps there is a tiny bit of me who loves some of the 70's garb and music and what not. I'm an aquarius, we are aloof, and quirky and eclectic in our own nature.
I don't know what the hell i am talking about now. I seriously am exhausted and very, very sleep deprived.
So I leave you with this:
Yes, I'm sitting here singing with the video. Good song.
Good Night All!
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
Another Monday
I refuse to turn on my A/C this morning.
I turned it off last night and slept with the fan on. I was thinking that takes less energy than the air running; suppose I'll find out when I get my bill. I woke up in a bucket of sweat. Probably lost two pounds in the process.
One can hope so anyway.
Now I'm just sitting here twiddling around until I go take a shower and head off to work.
Man, it's really hot in here. I suppose this cup of hot coffee isn't helping matters any. Think I may decide to head to Starbucks for a Very Berry Hibiscus Ice Tea....Venti please. Hold the Berries. I don't like it when one of the seeds makes it through the straw, it's like swallowing a bug when you are riding your bike really fast down the street. Just a very unexpected, uncomfortable feeling, ya know?
I'm working on some stories I wrote a few months ago. One is a semi-horror story the other a type of Lifetime Made for TV movie story. Can't think of the genre that falls under....I suppose drama/fiction perhaps?
I don't DO Mondays. They are the worst day of the week for me. I'm always lacking the energy and passion on Mondays that I have by Friday. Although last Friday I barely made it home from work. I was seriously way out of it, and surprised that I made it home. No joke. A coworker of mine saw me at a stop sign on my way home, and she waved and I felt like I was waving to her in slow-motion. I didn't say a word, just smiled and waved.
Weird.
I had plenty of time to think about a bunch of stuff this weekend. I keep thinking about that conversation my kids had with me about wanting a stepdad(check past blogs, too tired and lazy to link it for ya! ha ha). Watching romantic comedies and sitcoms with these happy families makes me think about that a lot more these days. This phase will pass; about every couple of months I find myself missing a man in my life, then I remember why I am still single to begin with and the phase passes. Plus, my kids have all these standards that the "future" stepdad has to comply with. First of all he needs to be either a Firefighter, A soldier or a Police Man. I'd prefer a mechanic myself, but those are fine. Next they want a guy who will buy them tons of stuff. Just stuff. Nothing in particular. They want to go to Disneyland, and they want me to have a new vehicle so we can drive cross country to see my family back in Indiana.
Their standards are a little higher than mine. And truth be told, I highly doubt there is someone who will put up with the rantings of my children when fights ensue between them. I'd need someone like Vin Diesel or Chuck Norris to separate them on any given bad day.
Perhaps I'll date a sumo wrestler.
They think those guys are cool too, however, they weren't on the list.(thank God)
The other thing I was thinking about this weekend was my job.
Oh how I like my job, I use to LOVE it, but so much drama has taken over and it feels more like a "job" than a "career". I want to share my concerns with my employer, but I don't think what I have to say will make a difference. I think we should have bi-monthly potlucks or some incentive to make everyone feel appreciated and improve employee morale. Everyone seems so miserable around there. I can feel the icky energy and it's affecting me and I don't like it. The winds of change rolled in a few months ago and blew in a bunch of ick with it.
I don't like it. Yuck.
Work use to be my happy place, now it's more my sappy place. I don't want to leave of course, I have grown too attached to those children. On days I think I want to quit, I think of those kids and I simply...cannot....do it.
Okay I have to shower and get to work. My mornings go way to quickly these days.
I normally don't blog in the mornings, and now you see why.
They just aren't that entertaining.
Have a great Monday readers. I will see you all later!
Magickal Graphics
I turned it off last night and slept with the fan on. I was thinking that takes less energy than the air running; suppose I'll find out when I get my bill. I woke up in a bucket of sweat. Probably lost two pounds in the process.
One can hope so anyway.
Now I'm just sitting here twiddling around until I go take a shower and head off to work.
Man, it's really hot in here. I suppose this cup of hot coffee isn't helping matters any. Think I may decide to head to Starbucks for a Very Berry Hibiscus Ice Tea....Venti please. Hold the Berries. I don't like it when one of the seeds makes it through the straw, it's like swallowing a bug when you are riding your bike really fast down the street. Just a very unexpected, uncomfortable feeling, ya know?
I'm working on some stories I wrote a few months ago. One is a semi-horror story the other a type of Lifetime Made for TV movie story. Can't think of the genre that falls under....I suppose drama/fiction perhaps?
I don't DO Mondays. They are the worst day of the week for me. I'm always lacking the energy and passion on Mondays that I have by Friday. Although last Friday I barely made it home from work. I was seriously way out of it, and surprised that I made it home. No joke. A coworker of mine saw me at a stop sign on my way home, and she waved and I felt like I was waving to her in slow-motion. I didn't say a word, just smiled and waved.
Weird.
I had plenty of time to think about a bunch of stuff this weekend. I keep thinking about that conversation my kids had with me about wanting a stepdad(check past blogs, too tired and lazy to link it for ya! ha ha). Watching romantic comedies and sitcoms with these happy families makes me think about that a lot more these days. This phase will pass; about every couple of months I find myself missing a man in my life, then I remember why I am still single to begin with and the phase passes. Plus, my kids have all these standards that the "future" stepdad has to comply with. First of all he needs to be either a Firefighter, A soldier or a Police Man. I'd prefer a mechanic myself, but those are fine. Next they want a guy who will buy them tons of stuff. Just stuff. Nothing in particular. They want to go to Disneyland, and they want me to have a new vehicle so we can drive cross country to see my family back in Indiana.
Their standards are a little higher than mine. And truth be told, I highly doubt there is someone who will put up with the rantings of my children when fights ensue between them. I'd need someone like Vin Diesel or Chuck Norris to separate them on any given bad day.
Perhaps I'll date a sumo wrestler.
They think those guys are cool too, however, they weren't on the list.(thank God)
The other thing I was thinking about this weekend was my job.
Oh how I like my job, I use to LOVE it, but so much drama has taken over and it feels more like a "job" than a "career". I want to share my concerns with my employer, but I don't think what I have to say will make a difference. I think we should have bi-monthly potlucks or some incentive to make everyone feel appreciated and improve employee morale. Everyone seems so miserable around there. I can feel the icky energy and it's affecting me and I don't like it. The winds of change rolled in a few months ago and blew in a bunch of ick with it.
I don't like it. Yuck.
Work use to be my happy place, now it's more my sappy place. I don't want to leave of course, I have grown too attached to those children. On days I think I want to quit, I think of those kids and I simply...cannot....do it.
Okay I have to shower and get to work. My mornings go way to quickly these days.
I normally don't blog in the mornings, and now you see why.
They just aren't that entertaining.
Have a great Monday readers. I will see you all later!
Magickal Graphics
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Saturday Night and Single
I am having myself a little "adult beverage" that I picked up at the grocery store today. It cost me $1.99 for this Mike's Hard Lemonade Black Cherry Freeze and Squeeze drink. I must say it's quite tasty. Like a cherry Popsicle that I remember from my childhood. You know the actual POPSICLE brand popsicle, not that cheesy generic brand that tastes like a frozen tube of sugar with a spittle of cheap kool-aid thrown in for color more than flavor.
Unfortunately for me though, I forgot to get some straws, so my pathetic ass is licking this drink out of the glass like a toddler with a pudding cup. True, I could get myself a spoon but don't feel like it, and truth be told I searched in my pantry for one of the kids Capri-Sun drinks to snag a straw off of one, but unfortunately, there were none to be found.
Today wasn't a bad day I suppose. I woke up around 7:30 or so. I cleaned my living room and kitchen and did two loads of laundry.
Then my tired ass took a nap.
I fell asleep at 11 something while watching Sister Wives. That show is interesting to me. I feel sorry for those poor women, because they really do seem like a nice family and they were trying to sell their jewelry at this women's expo up in Utah, and all these nasty old women were making snide remarks about their lifestyle. My opinion on this is....if you aren't causing harm to me or my children or anyone else for that matter, have a good life doing whatever it is you do. End of story. However, a note to Robyn on that show, if you are trying to jump start your business, you may want to stick to towns/cities that are more welcoming. You knew going into that trip that they didn't approve of your lifestyle, it's oil and water sister, oil and water. You live here in Vegas, you or your sister wives ever need some advice look me up, we'll have coffee. :)
ANYWAY...(liquor kicked in..loll) woke up around 3:30. I felt worse after I woke up then I did before I passed out on the couch. I sat around and watched Gilmore Girls on Soapnet. I love that show. I wish I could be like Lorelai Gilmore. She is funny(like me), pretty(like me) and lives in a quaint little town in Rhode Island(not like me) and is dating that hottie Luke Danes who is this hearty, rough-looking, softie that I just adore. I would love to find myself a guy like Luke. Where is my Luke? He's out there somewhere....helloo?? Hello...??? Luke is that you????!!!
Oh, sorry I got ripped away into my fantasyland over here. Don't mind me, it's the liquor. I'm a lightweight, so any typos or grammatical errors are the fault of Mike and his lemonade.
I watched Gilmore Girls and then I finally peeled myself up off the couch and went to the grocery store. Sure I had food in here, but nothing I wanted to take the effort to make(pork chops, hamburger etc..) so I went for quickie foods, you know TGIFriday's Spinach Artichoke Dip, Honey Roasted Marie Callender's Dinner, a Totino's frozen pizza, and some ham. Because there's a lot of stuff you can make with ham that doesn't require a lot of prep or cooking time. Ham and cheese omelette, ham sandwiches,salad with ham, you get the drift. I'm lazy when my kids aren't around when it comes to cooking. I also got some ice cream. Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Brownie Individual cup for a buck and Haagen Dazs Chocolate individual cup for the same price. Of course I had to get the whip cream to go with, so that set me back another buck-fifty. Never go to the store with the munchies.
Bad idea.
I also got some Calgon bubble bath and lotion. That was on sale too.
So I returned from the store and decided to take a bubble bath. I lit some candles, hopped in that big tub of suds and just vegged out for at least a good 15-20 minutes. Boy did that feel awesome! I have relaxation music on my phone, one of the artists is Deva Premal. I swear to you, if you are ever ever having a bad, stressful day, turn her music on and everything will just disappear.
I got my jammies on and heated up that Spinach/Artichoke dip and that.... my dear readers.... was my dinner.
So why am I telling all of you about my simple, non-partying, non-drama day today?
What else do I have to do?
Someone is out there reading this, probably doing the same damn thing as me. I know you are out there, it's okay if you don't want to raise your hand. I look at the positives of being home and single on a Saturday night.
For starters, you can dance around the house naked(I highly suggest you close the blinds first). Actually you can pretty much do anything naked in your house, cook dinner, bake lemon squares(this is a joke actually those that know I bake will be wondering next time, "Was she dressed when she made these??), you can watch TV naked, and believe me, living in the desert being naked is similar to wearing a parka when you are an Eskimo.
Which brings me to a tangent thought here, about Eskimos that is. I'm sure you all have heard of an Eskimo kiss, where you rub noses side to side? Well... I was thinking about this, and as cold as it could be where the Eskimos live I'm sure they fear getting their lips locked together forever when the temperatures reach to sub-zero levels which is why they don't ever kiss on the lips, especially those long passionate kisses. They are definitely safer with the noses....unless someone has a cold.
Another good thing about being single on a Saturday night is that you aren't wasting gas driving to different clubs, or theaters or malls or whatever your hangout of choice would have been had you not been single. I realize too, that being single, you could be out with friends, however, if you are like me, most of your friends are married or dating and have plans of their own on a Saturday night which don't include babysitting you(or me for that matter).
So here we sit, single on a Saturday night with our remote control, laptop, cup of ice cream, liquor, coffee or tea of choice indulging in the happy reality that we are not having to worry about what kind of dress to wear(or shirt/tie/no tie/pants/jeans etc for the guys out there), or thinking "these pants make me look fat!", or doing our hair then washing it all out and doing it over again, makeup mistakes, and all the other stuff that happens when one prepares to go out on a date. Could be the first date or the 10th, it's still stressful nonetheless.
We, however, in the Saturday Singles club don't have that drama.
There is no drama because no one is around us to create it.
Unfortunately for me though, I forgot to get some straws, so my pathetic ass is licking this drink out of the glass like a toddler with a pudding cup. True, I could get myself a spoon but don't feel like it, and truth be told I searched in my pantry for one of the kids Capri-Sun drinks to snag a straw off of one, but unfortunately, there were none to be found.
Today wasn't a bad day I suppose. I woke up around 7:30 or so. I cleaned my living room and kitchen and did two loads of laundry.
Then my tired ass took a nap.
I fell asleep at 11 something while watching Sister Wives. That show is interesting to me. I feel sorry for those poor women, because they really do seem like a nice family and they were trying to sell their jewelry at this women's expo up in Utah, and all these nasty old women were making snide remarks about their lifestyle. My opinion on this is....if you aren't causing harm to me or my children or anyone else for that matter, have a good life doing whatever it is you do. End of story. However, a note to Robyn on that show, if you are trying to jump start your business, you may want to stick to towns/cities that are more welcoming. You knew going into that trip that they didn't approve of your lifestyle, it's oil and water sister, oil and water. You live here in Vegas, you or your sister wives ever need some advice look me up, we'll have coffee. :)
ANYWAY...(liquor kicked in..loll) woke up around 3:30. I felt worse after I woke up then I did before I passed out on the couch. I sat around and watched Gilmore Girls on Soapnet. I love that show. I wish I could be like Lorelai Gilmore. She is funny(like me), pretty(like me) and lives in a quaint little town in Rhode Island(not like me) and is dating that hottie Luke Danes who is this hearty, rough-looking, softie that I just adore. I would love to find myself a guy like Luke. Where is my Luke? He's out there somewhere....helloo?? Hello...??? Luke is that you????!!!
Oh, sorry I got ripped away into my fantasyland over here. Don't mind me, it's the liquor. I'm a lightweight, so any typos or grammatical errors are the fault of Mike and his lemonade.
I watched Gilmore Girls and then I finally peeled myself up off the couch and went to the grocery store. Sure I had food in here, but nothing I wanted to take the effort to make(pork chops, hamburger etc..) so I went for quickie foods, you know TGIFriday's Spinach Artichoke Dip, Honey Roasted Marie Callender's Dinner, a Totino's frozen pizza, and some ham. Because there's a lot of stuff you can make with ham that doesn't require a lot of prep or cooking time. Ham and cheese omelette, ham sandwiches,salad with ham, you get the drift. I'm lazy when my kids aren't around when it comes to cooking. I also got some ice cream. Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Brownie Individual cup for a buck and Haagen Dazs Chocolate individual cup for the same price. Of course I had to get the whip cream to go with, so that set me back another buck-fifty. Never go to the store with the munchies.
Bad idea.
I also got some Calgon bubble bath and lotion. That was on sale too.
So I returned from the store and decided to take a bubble bath. I lit some candles, hopped in that big tub of suds and just vegged out for at least a good 15-20 minutes. Boy did that feel awesome! I have relaxation music on my phone, one of the artists is Deva Premal. I swear to you, if you are ever ever having a bad, stressful day, turn her music on and everything will just disappear.
I got my jammies on and heated up that Spinach/Artichoke dip and that.... my dear readers.... was my dinner.
So why am I telling all of you about my simple, non-partying, non-drama day today?
What else do I have to do?
Someone is out there reading this, probably doing the same damn thing as me. I know you are out there, it's okay if you don't want to raise your hand. I look at the positives of being home and single on a Saturday night.
For starters, you can dance around the house naked(I highly suggest you close the blinds first). Actually you can pretty much do anything naked in your house, cook dinner, bake lemon squares(this is a joke actually those that know I bake will be wondering next time, "Was she dressed when she made these??), you can watch TV naked, and believe me, living in the desert being naked is similar to wearing a parka when you are an Eskimo.
Which brings me to a tangent thought here, about Eskimos that is. I'm sure you all have heard of an Eskimo kiss, where you rub noses side to side? Well... I was thinking about this, and as cold as it could be where the Eskimos live I'm sure they fear getting their lips locked together forever when the temperatures reach to sub-zero levels which is why they don't ever kiss on the lips, especially those long passionate kisses. They are definitely safer with the noses....unless someone has a cold.
Another good thing about being single on a Saturday night is that you aren't wasting gas driving to different clubs, or theaters or malls or whatever your hangout of choice would have been had you not been single. I realize too, that being single, you could be out with friends, however, if you are like me, most of your friends are married or dating and have plans of their own on a Saturday night which don't include babysitting you(or me for that matter).
So here we sit, single on a Saturday night with our remote control, laptop, cup of ice cream, liquor, coffee or tea of choice indulging in the happy reality that we are not having to worry about what kind of dress to wear(or shirt/tie/no tie/pants/jeans etc for the guys out there), or thinking "these pants make me look fat!", or doing our hair then washing it all out and doing it over again, makeup mistakes, and all the other stuff that happens when one prepares to go out on a date. Could be the first date or the 10th, it's still stressful nonetheless.
We, however, in the Saturday Singles club don't have that drama.
There is no drama because no one is around us to create it.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Between the Sexes: Working Together
I'm still giggling from a little incident that happened at work today.
I have to tell you I don't like working with women(There, I said it....It's out there for all the world to see...more on this topic further into the blog).
But today in the lunch room, I realized it doesn't have to be all drama-induced or dreadful working with other women.
This is what was so damn funny.
Go ahead grab a drink, and pee while you're up and about. I feel another long-winded blog coming on.
A fellow coworker of mine and I were chatting during our lunch break. We started talking about the days events in our classrooms and before we knew it she was talking about certain ideas that she had brought to our boss's attention and I was chiming in with total agreement.
We were really into this conversation, it was like some female bonding moment(men have football, we have PMS and deeply rooted conversations about our bosses*snickers*) and because we were so into this conversation, unbeknownst to us our boss's daughter was a mere fleas' sneeze away from us, talking to another coworker near the copy machine.
We both looked at each other...frozen for a moment....then just burst into laughter.
Next thing I know she is whispering to me across the table, "Do you think she heard us?"
"I don't knowwww," I said in a hushed voice.
"Nahhh, I don't think she did."
We'll never know. To be quite honest our boss is really a good person as a person. But she has to be a boss first, and with that comes the tumultuous task of not always making everyone happy all of the time. I suppose that comes with the title. Which is why they call bosses a boss and not EBF's(employees best friend) or a more docile term than something so direct and scary as BOSS.
So there is my coworker and I, consumed with tears of laughter. I'm laughing out loud here, thinking of that particular moment. No sooner did we go on this roller coaster of laughter, I ultimately did something that consumed us both with laughter and we just couldn't stop.....
I SNORTED!
That made us both laugh even harder.
Clearly if the boss's daughter hadn't noticed us before, by now we were like flashing neon signs on the Nevada State Highway. Then I just looked at her and said, "How about those Cubbies!...Want a donut?"
She read this blog, of mine and understood my little jest there and I am sure will be reading this one once it posts. *waves to my coworker and hands her a lemon square and coffee, "HIIIII "L"!!!"
I love when work doesn't feel like a job, but more like a carnival with some seriousness thrown in for balance once in a while.
It was just one of those moments that you wish work could be like....every hour of every day.
I feel like there should be some introduction to this section of the blog here. Like music, or song and dance perhaps....drum roll maybe??? I suppose this really wasn't "further" into the blog as I had previously mentioned. It's more like 1/3 of the way into the blog. That would be more accurate don't you think?
Why I Don't Like Working With Women:
1. We are hormonal creatures by nature. That said, we cry at the drop of the hat, snap at the most ridiculous of things, and we have PMS(which usually causes the aforementioned episodes). If the copy machine isn't working and "Sue" forgot to take her Midol, that poor copy machine and the people around it are certainly going to suffer her wrath. In this instance, we make sure we throw some acetaminophen and a Chocolate Caramel bar in her direction and flee as quickly as possible.
2. Everything turns into drama. I don't care what it is, somehow, someway, there is drama involved. For instance, you could have a perfectly fine day, when all of a sudden "Jane B. Smith" decides that she is going to throw your perfectly good day into a perfectly disastrous mess when she runs to the boss to let him know you made a paper airplane with company letterhead paper. Just because Jane is miserable, everyone else around her has to be. Women just love to complain, let me rephrase that, MOST women, on average love to complain. I've never overheard a man talking to his boss saying "Joe was out in the shop using the air compressor to blow up his kids inflatable duck for the pool today."
It just doesn't happen.
Ever.
3. Gossip. I won't lie, I like a good little bit o' gossip every now and then. However, too much of it, like a good piece of Chocolate Torte, can make you feel a little ill and overwhelmed. And I don't go looking for gossip. If it finds me, I'll lend a listening ear. But I don't like getting sucked into gossip, because then I end up getting so wrapped up in it too, that I end up saying something I'll regret later. So I avoid gossip as much as I avoid men.
Because, truth is, neither are good for me anyway.
4. Cliques. *Makes me shiver every time* No matter how hard you try not to find them, they show up eventually. And they can be messy, sometimes even hurtful. Other times it's just so utterly nauseating. Why can't we all just get along? Let's all go out for pizza and beer and call it a day? NO!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT....., refer to #2 here and realize that Jane can't be seen with Margaret because Margaret got 4 days off and Jane only wanted 2, but that was the week sales were high so now it's Margaret's fault that Jane can't get her 2 crappy days off.
Suck it up Jane.! Margaret doesn't make the schedule the office manager does. So go be mad at Sara, the office manager, for a couple of hours and draw a picture in black crayon scribbles about how you feel.
(Talk about wicked sarcasm...hmm...I need some chocolate I think...be right back!)
...Much Better Now....
And The ONLY Reason Working with Men is Not So Good:
1. Refer to #1 above. We(as in wonderful women, ahem) share in that whole lovely monthly cycle thingy. And when it strikes on a Tuesday in the middle of summer and you are in white pants, Lord knows you are one grateful woman who can breathe a sigh of relief when you ask, in a building full of women, "Do you have a tampon?" Chances are 99.9% dead on you'll find someone who does. Working with men however, you have a snowballs chance in hell of him saying "Oh yeah, sure I do Darlin'. Let me head out to the back of my pickup truck and get it for ya," with a smile and a sparkly twinkle in his eyes.
Yeah, that's really the only reason I can think of at the moment. Feel free to add your own dear readers. I know you all are out there, come on share....you know you wanna.
Reasons Why Working With Men Is a Good Thing:
1. Men don't have drama. Of course even if they did, they wouldn't talk about it anyway. Am I right? You know I am. Because it's true. Men are like tightly knit spools of thread when it comes to sharing anything in their minds, let alone feelings.
I don't foresee a day where two or three guys are sitting at a bar and one says to the other:
"Damn Bob, I just don't know what to do about this job."
To which Bob replies, "Tell me how that makes you feel."
"Well, I really wanted to be head mechanic, but our boss gave the position to Luis and Luis has only been at the shop for 3 months. Why would he get MY promotion? I'm so hurt and angry."
Ummm....yeah, that just doesn't happen.
Not in the real world....at least not with probably 90% of men.
Men do share with other guys, but it's just not so emotionally drama laden. More forceful probably with a few expletives thrown in for good measure.
Let's move on shall we?
2. Men are(usually) a Little Nicer. I know there are some asshat men out there, I've dated a few of them in my time, so I know they exist. But for the most part, my experience working with men has been pretty positive, dating them is another story, we'll go there another day, say, in the year 2015. I only recall one time where a guy I worked with was an asshat, and that was only because he was ticked because I got a promotion to Manager that he wanted.
Sorry Charlie.
3. Men are nice to look at, flirt with, and just talk to. I'm single. I'm not getting any younger you know! I'm just pointing out the obvious.
So there you have it.
My take on the comparison of the sexes at work and which one I prefer to spend 8 hours of my life away from home with.
It's a no-brainer really. Men win, hands down in my book.
For now I'm in a dome of estrogen. I deal as best I can when I'm having a PMS moment or someone else is. I should probably make sure I have an ample supply of Midol and Chocolate on me as a deterrent to what could be a massive blowup should anyone come into work unprepared for what may set off their hormones...no matter what reason that may be.
I have to tell you I don't like working with women(There, I said it....It's out there for all the world to see...more on this topic further into the blog).
But today in the lunch room, I realized it doesn't have to be all drama-induced or dreadful working with other women.
This is what was so damn funny.
Go ahead grab a drink, and pee while you're up and about. I feel another long-winded blog coming on.
A fellow coworker of mine and I were chatting during our lunch break. We started talking about the days events in our classrooms and before we knew it she was talking about certain ideas that she had brought to our boss's attention and I was chiming in with total agreement.
We were really into this conversation, it was like some female bonding moment(men have football, we have PMS and deeply rooted conversations about our bosses*snickers*) and because we were so into this conversation, unbeknownst to us our boss's daughter was a mere fleas' sneeze away from us, talking to another coworker near the copy machine.
We both looked at each other...frozen for a moment....then just burst into laughter.
Next thing I know she is whispering to me across the table, "Do you think she heard us?"
"I don't knowwww," I said in a hushed voice.
"Nahhh, I don't think she did."
We'll never know. To be quite honest our boss is really a good person as a person. But she has to be a boss first, and with that comes the tumultuous task of not always making everyone happy all of the time. I suppose that comes with the title. Which is why they call bosses a boss and not EBF's(employees best friend) or a more docile term than something so direct and scary as BOSS.
So there is my coworker and I, consumed with tears of laughter. I'm laughing out loud here, thinking of that particular moment. No sooner did we go on this roller coaster of laughter, I ultimately did something that consumed us both with laughter and we just couldn't stop.....
I SNORTED!
That made us both laugh even harder.
Clearly if the boss's daughter hadn't noticed us before, by now we were like flashing neon signs on the Nevada State Highway. Then I just looked at her and said, "How about those Cubbies!...Want a donut?"
She read this blog, of mine and understood my little jest there and I am sure will be reading this one once it posts. *waves to my coworker and hands her a lemon square and coffee, "HIIIII "L"!!!"
I love when work doesn't feel like a job, but more like a carnival with some seriousness thrown in for balance once in a while.
It was just one of those moments that you wish work could be like....every hour of every day.
************************************
I feel like there should be some introduction to this section of the blog here. Like music, or song and dance perhaps....drum roll maybe??? I suppose this really wasn't "further" into the blog as I had previously mentioned. It's more like 1/3 of the way into the blog. That would be more accurate don't you think?
Why I Don't Like Working With Women:
1. We are hormonal creatures by nature. That said, we cry at the drop of the hat, snap at the most ridiculous of things, and we have PMS(which usually causes the aforementioned episodes). If the copy machine isn't working and "Sue" forgot to take her Midol, that poor copy machine and the people around it are certainly going to suffer her wrath. In this instance, we make sure we throw some acetaminophen and a Chocolate Caramel bar in her direction and flee as quickly as possible.
2. Everything turns into drama. I don't care what it is, somehow, someway, there is drama involved. For instance, you could have a perfectly fine day, when all of a sudden "Jane B. Smith" decides that she is going to throw your perfectly good day into a perfectly disastrous mess when she runs to the boss to let him know you made a paper airplane with company letterhead paper. Just because Jane is miserable, everyone else around her has to be. Women just love to complain, let me rephrase that, MOST women, on average love to complain. I've never overheard a man talking to his boss saying "Joe was out in the shop using the air compressor to blow up his kids inflatable duck for the pool today."
It just doesn't happen.
Ever.
3. Gossip. I won't lie, I like a good little bit o' gossip every now and then. However, too much of it, like a good piece of Chocolate Torte, can make you feel a little ill and overwhelmed. And I don't go looking for gossip. If it finds me, I'll lend a listening ear. But I don't like getting sucked into gossip, because then I end up getting so wrapped up in it too, that I end up saying something I'll regret later. So I avoid gossip as much as I avoid men.
Because, truth is, neither are good for me anyway.
4. Cliques. *Makes me shiver every time* No matter how hard you try not to find them, they show up eventually. And they can be messy, sometimes even hurtful. Other times it's just so utterly nauseating. Why can't we all just get along? Let's all go out for pizza and beer and call it a day? NO!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT....., refer to #2 here and realize that Jane can't be seen with Margaret because Margaret got 4 days off and Jane only wanted 2, but that was the week sales were high so now it's Margaret's fault that Jane can't get her 2 crappy days off.
Suck it up Jane.! Margaret doesn't make the schedule the office manager does. So go be mad at Sara, the office manager, for a couple of hours and draw a picture in black crayon scribbles about how you feel.
(Talk about wicked sarcasm...hmm...I need some chocolate I think...be right back!)
...Much Better Now....
And The ONLY Reason Working with Men is Not So Good:
1. Refer to #1 above. We(as in wonderful women, ahem) share in that whole lovely monthly cycle thingy. And when it strikes on a Tuesday in the middle of summer and you are in white pants, Lord knows you are one grateful woman who can breathe a sigh of relief when you ask, in a building full of women, "Do you have a tampon?" Chances are 99.9% dead on you'll find someone who does. Working with men however, you have a snowballs chance in hell of him saying "Oh yeah, sure I do Darlin'. Let me head out to the back of my pickup truck and get it for ya," with a smile and a sparkly twinkle in his eyes.
Yeah, that's really the only reason I can think of at the moment. Feel free to add your own dear readers. I know you all are out there, come on share....you know you wanna.
Reasons Why Working With Men Is a Good Thing:
1. Men don't have drama. Of course even if they did, they wouldn't talk about it anyway. Am I right? You know I am. Because it's true. Men are like tightly knit spools of thread when it comes to sharing anything in their minds, let alone feelings.
I don't foresee a day where two or three guys are sitting at a bar and one says to the other:
"Damn Bob, I just don't know what to do about this job."
To which Bob replies, "Tell me how that makes you feel."
"Well, I really wanted to be head mechanic, but our boss gave the position to Luis and Luis has only been at the shop for 3 months. Why would he get MY promotion? I'm so hurt and angry."
Ummm....yeah, that just doesn't happen.
Not in the real world....at least not with probably 90% of men.
Men do share with other guys, but it's just not so emotionally drama laden. More forceful probably with a few expletives thrown in for good measure.
Let's move on shall we?
2. Men are(usually) a Little Nicer. I know there are some asshat men out there, I've dated a few of them in my time, so I know they exist. But for the most part, my experience working with men has been pretty positive, dating them is another story, we'll go there another day, say, in the year 2015. I only recall one time where a guy I worked with was an asshat, and that was only because he was ticked because I got a promotion to Manager that he wanted.
Sorry Charlie.
3. Men are nice to look at, flirt with, and just talk to. I'm single. I'm not getting any younger you know! I'm just pointing out the obvious.
So there you have it.
My take on the comparison of the sexes at work and which one I prefer to spend 8 hours of my life away from home with.
It's a no-brainer really. Men win, hands down in my book.
For now I'm in a dome of estrogen. I deal as best I can when I'm having a PMS moment or someone else is. I should probably make sure I have an ample supply of Midol and Chocolate on me as a deterrent to what could be a massive blowup should anyone come into work unprepared for what may set off their hormones...no matter what reason that may be.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Online Dating is For the Birds
I hate Mondays.
Glad I got THAT off my chest.
On to other business here. Seems that the online dating free weekend was a total bust. You can "technically" communicate with someone by sending random questions to someone in which they reply with clicking a simple yes or no. For instance, one question I got was "Would you swim in the buff?" I wanted to reply with my own answer and say "NO, but I would bathe in the buff."
Seriously?
You could also use these little conversation starters. Little saying like "Your photo brought a smile to my face". What photo? You can see me but I can't see you???
A little creepy if you ask me. Thinking we have peeping Tom's on the site.
You can't see the profile photos of any of the members, which is why that's so creepy. Which is ridiculous in all honesty. I want to write an email to the company and let them know that if they want more paid members, you need to allow non-paying free weekend folk to see the photos so that we know what we are getting into when we sign up and plunk down our hard earned money. If it's simply a bunch of old and wrinkly sixty year old men, well, sorry charlie, I'll keep my $14.99 a month and spend it on Starbucks or a new pair of shoes. That's like someone selling you a car, they let you test drive it but you can't look under the hood. For all you know the battery is leaking, the radiator cap is missing and the engine is being held into place by chicken wire.
So I didn't find love on the internet.
Which is okay. Because like I said before I wasn't really looking to begin with.
I used Match.com one time on a free month trial, and I have to say that was a pretty good sight. At least you get to see the photos of members listed. And you actually got to REALLY communicate with other people via emails(this was over 10 years ago mind you). I met some interesting fellas on that site. Got a few nice dinners and a couple of trips to the local bar to play some darts and have some drinks, made a friend or two there, one even found me on Facebook about a year ago after I hadn't seen him in 10 years; he's still doing well.
Overall though, the thought of dating scares me.
First reason....I have children.
Second reason....I don't want crazy people near my children.
Third Reason....I have children.
So, until my daughter graduates high school in 8 years, I shall stick to being single, at which point the hot body(snickers) will be gone, as will probably more of my hair at the rate I'm going here with all this damn stress in my life, I'll have wrinkles where they shouldn't be, and my boobs will be down to my ankles and whatever sanity I have now will probably be depleted.
Good luck to whatever man gets that stunning woman! Woohoo!!!
Truth is, mostly every woman wants to find a special someone in their life. It's human nature. Reality is that it just isn't that simple these days. There are so many weirdos out there, so many diseases and so many variables that can make or break a relationship that when it comes down to it I, myself, am probably better off all by myself anyway.
It's not me throwing a pity party(I don't like pity parties, I attended enough of my own thank you), feeling sorry for myself, because I don't feel sorry for myself anymore. It's me being realistic and accepting the fact that it's okay to be single.
*Yikes! Where'd that Serious Sally come from?? This is my fun blog!*
Anyway, if you do decide to use an online dating site, really research the site and the benefits of joining. And maybe once you pay you get free tickets to see concerts or a trip to the moon as a paid member.
Who knows.
Have a great Monday. I will see you all later.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
It's Never Where You Need It To Be
I've been in this apartment of mine now for the past 15 months.
I have a dishwasher. Technically I have two.
Up until now the only dishwasher was me. However, the one that came with the apartment I have never, ever used.
You will find me rather odd, or perhaps weird for not using it when I tell you the reason. You see, the dishwasher is on the wall where my bedroom is. That same wall is the wall where my lovely computer and cable box to the outside world connect. My biggest fear is that the dishwasher will somehow backup or the pipes will explode, leaking buckets of water onto the other side of the adjoining wall, and my lifeline to the outside world will be gone...POOF....just like that.
I know it's pretty silly I have to admit. I KNOW it's silly and yet I still can't believe I CAN'T just turn the damn thing on.
I did make progress though. Today I cleaned the crumbs that had fallen in there(not many) because the door to the dishwasher isn't shut all the way and occasionally when cleaning the counter-tops off a few "strays" will find their way in there. I stared at the dishwasher and almost took one of the sample packs of Cascade dish squares to throw in there(whatever they are called....I don't use a dishwasher how do I know the name?), and I almost loaded and started that sucker up.
But I bailed.
I came in here and I turned my computer on.
Because that's what one does in fight or flight mode.
I flew.
I'm sure it probably won't burst or backup or do any of the horrid things I think it will do. Despite the fact my brain knows this, my body won't let me load the dishwasher. It's like a magnetic field of Kryptonite. I know what Superman felt like in Lex Luthor's pool. I....Just....Couldn't....Move.... and shut that door and turn the knob to Normal Wash.
Perhaps my brain froze because of the term Normal there.
Who knows?
Maybe this Saturday I will try it. Maintenance will be around and the office is open, so in the event something blows up or sprays water everywhere they will come to my rescue. However, that still won't solve the problem of losing my connection to the outside world. Unless they actually fly like Superman to my apartment door, or can turn the world's axis backwards in order to rewind time saving my computer from utter demise and me from utter despair before it happens.
*reads blog thus far and thinks to myself "Whoa Barb, you have wayyyyy too much free time dontcha?!"*
This is what happens when the kids leave me and go to play with friends.
So let me tell you what else is bugging me.
Today I was looking for a certificate that I need to turn into the State. It's for my certification for work or I won't have a job come July 18th. Anyway, I JUST GOT THIS PAPER in the mail, and gave it to my boss to make her required copies for her files the day after I got it, and I just saw the stupid thing when I was cleaning out my cabinets last Saturday. Well, I went to get all my certificates together and finish filling out the form for re-certification and wouldn't ya know it I can't find it.
Know what I did find though??
Guess.
Go ahead, I have time...
No, I didn't find a $20 bill like I did last time I was in the same cabinet.
Nope, wasn't a winning lottery ticket.
Four free tickets to America's Got Talent or American Ninja Warrior for me and my kids when they come to Vegas (the show that is, not my kids, my kids are already here). NOPE!
I found a gift card for Target from a very, very wonderful parent whose child was one of my first kids when I got my own room to teach in. I got that card when her son moved up to the next room. Brought tears to my eyes.
Has that ever happened to you?
You know, you are looking for something you really need and you find something else that you could use just as much, but you still need the first item you were looking for to begin with?
I'd love to be looking under my bed for a pair of shoes and find Travis Fimmel under there, in his Viking outfit.... Look at him in all his yummy-ness ....Helloooooo Ragnar!.....( *raises eyebrows and grins*) with a dozen roses and a plane ticket to anywhere but here. He could take us all to the middle of a cornfield to watch the corn grow and I'd be tickled pink ya know. Of course I'd have to wonder how he got under my bed in the first place. Then we'd go to that cornfield, have a picnic and then head to Indiana Beach(which is really close to cornfields...literally) which is a kick-ass place to go for a vacation.
Of course that still doesn't help me find my certificate I need for tomorrow. Because I'd like to mail that stupid form and all these stupid papers so I can get this over with already. I like my job and I'd like to keep it for now. But why does the state have us go through so much paperwork? There should be some main database so that when we take these courses it automatically gets sent to them. Hello, we are not in 1950 anymore...technology is everywhere these days.
My small rant is over.
Back to talking about Indiana Beach.
This is my next big trip that I hope my kids and I can take.
Check it out:
Awesome Place!
Okay, my kids will be home in 10 minutes. I need to leave my little online getaway here for now.
I still have to find that damn certificate!
I think I'll go and look for the pair of scissors my kids used last week and I can't seem to find and nobody knows where they are.(and just out of curiosity, why does one refer to scissors in the plural? I can't find "them" anywhere instead of I can't find "it". Why are scissors a pair? You only get one scissor in a package. That will have to be my next blog I suppose. Cause my dear readers....I just ran out of time for today. )
Magickal Graphics
I have a dishwasher. Technically I have two.
Up until now the only dishwasher was me. However, the one that came with the apartment I have never, ever used.
You will find me rather odd, or perhaps weird for not using it when I tell you the reason. You see, the dishwasher is on the wall where my bedroom is. That same wall is the wall where my lovely computer and cable box to the outside world connect. My biggest fear is that the dishwasher will somehow backup or the pipes will explode, leaking buckets of water onto the other side of the adjoining wall, and my lifeline to the outside world will be gone...POOF....just like that.
I know it's pretty silly I have to admit. I KNOW it's silly and yet I still can't believe I CAN'T just turn the damn thing on.
I did make progress though. Today I cleaned the crumbs that had fallen in there(not many) because the door to the dishwasher isn't shut all the way and occasionally when cleaning the counter-tops off a few "strays" will find their way in there. I stared at the dishwasher and almost took one of the sample packs of Cascade dish squares to throw in there(whatever they are called....I don't use a dishwasher how do I know the name?), and I almost loaded and started that sucker up.
But I bailed.
I came in here and I turned my computer on.
Because that's what one does in fight or flight mode.
I flew.
I'm sure it probably won't burst or backup or do any of the horrid things I think it will do. Despite the fact my brain knows this, my body won't let me load the dishwasher. It's like a magnetic field of Kryptonite. I know what Superman felt like in Lex Luthor's pool. I....Just....Couldn't....Move.... and shut that door and turn the knob to Normal Wash.
Perhaps my brain froze because of the term Normal there.
Who knows?
Maybe this Saturday I will try it. Maintenance will be around and the office is open, so in the event something blows up or sprays water everywhere they will come to my rescue. However, that still won't solve the problem of losing my connection to the outside world. Unless they actually fly like Superman to my apartment door, or can turn the world's axis backwards in order to rewind time saving my computer from utter demise and me from utter despair before it happens.
*reads blog thus far and thinks to myself "Whoa Barb, you have wayyyyy too much free time dontcha?!"*
This is what happens when the kids leave me and go to play with friends.
So let me tell you what else is bugging me.
Today I was looking for a certificate that I need to turn into the State. It's for my certification for work or I won't have a job come July 18th. Anyway, I JUST GOT THIS PAPER in the mail, and gave it to my boss to make her required copies for her files the day after I got it, and I just saw the stupid thing when I was cleaning out my cabinets last Saturday. Well, I went to get all my certificates together and finish filling out the form for re-certification and wouldn't ya know it I can't find it.
Know what I did find though??
Guess.
Go ahead, I have time...
No, I didn't find a $20 bill like I did last time I was in the same cabinet.
Nope, wasn't a winning lottery ticket.
Four free tickets to America's Got Talent or American Ninja Warrior for me and my kids when they come to Vegas (the show that is, not my kids, my kids are already here). NOPE!
I found a gift card for Target from a very, very wonderful parent whose child was one of my first kids when I got my own room to teach in. I got that card when her son moved up to the next room. Brought tears to my eyes.
Has that ever happened to you?
You know, you are looking for something you really need and you find something else that you could use just as much, but you still need the first item you were looking for to begin with?
I'd love to be looking under my bed for a pair of shoes and find Travis Fimmel under there, in his Viking outfit.... Look at him in all his yummy-ness ....Helloooooo Ragnar!.....( *raises eyebrows and grins*) with a dozen roses and a plane ticket to anywhere but here. He could take us all to the middle of a cornfield to watch the corn grow and I'd be tickled pink ya know. Of course I'd have to wonder how he got under my bed in the first place. Then we'd go to that cornfield, have a picnic and then head to Indiana Beach(which is really close to cornfields...literally) which is a kick-ass place to go for a vacation.
Of course that still doesn't help me find my certificate I need for tomorrow. Because I'd like to mail that stupid form and all these stupid papers so I can get this over with already. I like my job and I'd like to keep it for now. But why does the state have us go through so much paperwork? There should be some main database so that when we take these courses it automatically gets sent to them. Hello, we are not in 1950 anymore...technology is everywhere these days.
My small rant is over.
Back to talking about Indiana Beach.
This is my next big trip that I hope my kids and I can take.
Check it out:
Awesome Place!
Okay, my kids will be home in 10 minutes. I need to leave my little online getaway here for now.
I still have to find that damn certificate!
I think I'll go and look for the pair of scissors my kids used last week and I can't seem to find and nobody knows where they are.(and just out of curiosity, why does one refer to scissors in the plural? I can't find "them" anywhere instead of I can't find "it". Why are scissors a pair? You only get one scissor in a package. That will have to be my next blog I suppose. Cause my dear readers....I just ran out of time for today. )
I leave you with this:
Magickal Graphics
Saturday, July 6, 2013
The "Positives" of Procrastination
Here I sit in front of my puter on a humid Saturday morning. I managed to clean my bathroom so the kids can bathe/shower when they wake up, but that's about all I did.
I also made some coffee (and drank plenty of it too) and sat out on my porch and listened to the neighbors arguing and the one guy swearing like a sailor, banging on either the carport roof or the hood of a car. I didn't bother to look because being the nosy Pollack I am I know when not to stick my nose in and hide out like a groundhog on February 2nd. That's the joy of living where I do, there is always some neighborhood drama of some kind around here. Not my kind of neighborhood, but it's all I can afford for now.
I did take some photos of some random clouds the past few days. I love taking nature photos. Some of the clouds were pretty cool looking. Take a look for yourself:
I just get carried away when I start taking pictures. I took these from my patio yesterday. That sun is blinding. I can just feel myself broiling like a steak on the grill when I am sitting out in this sunlight:
Those are pyrocumulus clouds, at least according to our local meteorologists and the general population of the weather community. They have a red hue to them especially when the sun sets you can really see the red in the sky. The pyrocumulus cloud is a convective fire-aided cloud.
This concludes this week's Science lesson.
There will be a pop quiz on Friday.
*smirks*
Anyway, I could be doing dishes right about now, but instead I chose to post these photos because in all honesty it beats having dishpan hands.
So what exactly are the positives of procrastinating? Well let's take a look shall we?
For starters, if you procrastinate and don't do laundry on time, you are forced to go to the mall and buy a new wardrobe. This is not such a bad thing. You go to the mall and as you walk in the door, there in the food court is the lovely Cinnabon store. You can't simply walk into a mall and pass up a moist, cinnamon-laden roll, so of course you buy one and the tasty refreshing drink of choice to wash it down.
Next you head on over to the music store. You cannot pass by the music store because that CD you have been dying to get "80's Classics from Prom" is on sale for $5 and you must absolutely have that in your CD collection.
After purchasing your new music you head on over to the shoe store, to see if they might carry jelly shoes to compliment your new music purchase. You are thinking to yourself "Gee, I need to invite the girls over and have an 80's party."
Now you are having a party.
You are walking down the center of the mall when the woman with the wraps approaches you and asks if you would like to try one on.
"Why sure!" you happily exclaim. "I would love to!"
She wraps you up like a burrito in this overly-priced get up and next thing you know you hand her your credit card and $44 bucks of your hard-earned money is now the property of Sari-You-Bought-This...you think to yourself that this is a company you never heard of but nevertheless if it's in the mall they must be legit right?
*squirms uncomfortably at latest purchase you made*
You head down the mall to the jean store. They are having a clearance sale. Name brand jeans are on sale, 50% off and only $50. For that price those jeans better make you look 20 pounds thinner or at least get someone to buy you a few drinks at the bar for crying out loud. You need to get your money back somehow right? You set your drink down on the counter and dig for your wallet, you hand over your 50 bucks and leave with your new purchase.
You are half way down the mall when you realize you left your drink on the counter. Dammit to hell, now you can't eat your cinnamon roll.
Next you head over to the store with all the latest tees, dress shirts and cute skirts and purchase a nice shirt/blouse/tank whatever it is for $20. You think to yourself, "Twenty bucks is kind of steep, but after spending $50 bucks on those jeans, $20 is a real steal". As you are leaving the store, magically there appears the "faux jewelry" display that you didn't notice when you walked in and you simply cannot pass up accessorizing your new wardrobe. So you end up going back to the counter and buying two necklaces because you simply cannot decide on the amethyst/cubic zirconium one or the heart shaped faux ruby colored one. Decisions, decisions, "Oh hell, I'll just get both" you say to yourself. So there goes $35 dollars more. Because even though it's fake it's still not cheap. But your brain has been sucked into "Spend all my money" mode. Kind of like those kids in the movie "Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief" where they ate the lotus flowers and didn't want to leave.
For those of you not familiar with the lotus flowers, here is a 2 minute and 16 second snippet of that scene.
Your "lotus flower" was that cinnabon you picked up at the beginning of your trip to the mall. Remember that?
Now that you have all these bags in hand, and your fingers are now glued together from the icing on the cinnamon roll you bought an hour ago that you finally decided to eat, you head to the bathroom and upon entering the stall you realize that you have nowhere to place your bags, including your purse. That tiny hook on the back of the door isn't big enough to hold all of your latest purchases and the lock on the door is broken.
You could just go home and pee, but instead you try to navigate holding the door closed while squeezing the bag handles (which are sometimes smaller than spaghetti straps on a dress) clasping them tightly as though they are $100 bills and wiggle out of your shorts and undies so that you can hover over the toilet(because as we all know, no self-respecting woman sits on a public toilet, who knows who (or what) sat there last.) As you try to finish your business, your cell phone rings. You can't get to it without either a) dropping said bags to the floor or b) having an accident. So you bypass the phone call and instead hurriedly try and wipe and pull(shorts) as you lose your balance and the door smacks you in the head.
You lift your foot to push the button to flush and then you head back out, WASH YOUR HANDS(please!) and then go out to the mall for more money-spending madness.
By the time you are done you have bought three more outfits, a Hello Kitty Jewelry set for your niece's upcoming birthday, a mug for your mother, a "cute" tee for that niece of yours, and you signed up to win a new car. By the way, for future reference, don't ever do that. It is a telemarketers dream to get their hands on your phone number, address and email.
Unfortunately I found that out the hard way.
You head on out to your car.
Great....it's 4 hours later and you can't find it. It's like an oven out there in the parking lot and you flag down a security guard in the hopes of him helping to save you from your plight. You hop in his little caddy and he drives you around the lot and you are listening to his Ipod music which includes lyrics that would make your grandmother blush. He finally finds your car, you thank him, give him a tip which he doesn't say thank you for and you head home.
You walk in the door, the house is still a wreck and that laundry pile from this morning is still staring at you from the floor. You're starving and now you are even more broke than before.
You place your latest purchases on your couch and then throw yourself helplessly exhausted down next to them and realize at that point...."Maybe I should have just done the damn laundry".
I also made some coffee (and drank plenty of it too) and sat out on my porch and listened to the neighbors arguing and the one guy swearing like a sailor, banging on either the carport roof or the hood of a car. I didn't bother to look because being the nosy Pollack I am I know when not to stick my nose in and hide out like a groundhog on February 2nd. That's the joy of living where I do, there is always some neighborhood drama of some kind around here. Not my kind of neighborhood, but it's all I can afford for now.
I did take some photos of some random clouds the past few days. I love taking nature photos. Some of the clouds were pretty cool looking. Take a look for yourself:
I also had one that resembled a tornado. Of course we don't have tornadoes in Vegas, but if we did it might look like this:
This concludes this week's Science lesson.
There will be a pop quiz on Friday.
*smirks*
Anyway, I could be doing dishes right about now, but instead I chose to post these photos because in all honesty it beats having dishpan hands.
So what exactly are the positives of procrastinating? Well let's take a look shall we?
For starters, if you procrastinate and don't do laundry on time, you are forced to go to the mall and buy a new wardrobe. This is not such a bad thing. You go to the mall and as you walk in the door, there in the food court is the lovely Cinnabon store. You can't simply walk into a mall and pass up a moist, cinnamon-laden roll, so of course you buy one and the tasty refreshing drink of choice to wash it down.
Next you head on over to the music store. You cannot pass by the music store because that CD you have been dying to get "80's Classics from Prom" is on sale for $5 and you must absolutely have that in your CD collection.
After purchasing your new music you head on over to the shoe store, to see if they might carry jelly shoes to compliment your new music purchase. You are thinking to yourself "Gee, I need to invite the girls over and have an 80's party."
Now you are having a party.
You are walking down the center of the mall when the woman with the wraps approaches you and asks if you would like to try one on.
"Why sure!" you happily exclaim. "I would love to!"
She wraps you up like a burrito in this overly-priced get up and next thing you know you hand her your credit card and $44 bucks of your hard-earned money is now the property of Sari-You-Bought-This...you think to yourself that this is a company you never heard of but nevertheless if it's in the mall they must be legit right?
*squirms uncomfortably at latest purchase you made*
You head down the mall to the jean store. They are having a clearance sale. Name brand jeans are on sale, 50% off and only $50. For that price those jeans better make you look 20 pounds thinner or at least get someone to buy you a few drinks at the bar for crying out loud. You need to get your money back somehow right? You set your drink down on the counter and dig for your wallet, you hand over your 50 bucks and leave with your new purchase.
You are half way down the mall when you realize you left your drink on the counter. Dammit to hell, now you can't eat your cinnamon roll.
Next you head over to the store with all the latest tees, dress shirts and cute skirts and purchase a nice shirt/blouse/tank whatever it is for $20. You think to yourself, "Twenty bucks is kind of steep, but after spending $50 bucks on those jeans, $20 is a real steal". As you are leaving the store, magically there appears the "faux jewelry" display that you didn't notice when you walked in and you simply cannot pass up accessorizing your new wardrobe. So you end up going back to the counter and buying two necklaces because you simply cannot decide on the amethyst/cubic zirconium one or the heart shaped faux ruby colored one. Decisions, decisions, "Oh hell, I'll just get both" you say to yourself. So there goes $35 dollars more. Because even though it's fake it's still not cheap. But your brain has been sucked into "Spend all my money" mode. Kind of like those kids in the movie "Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief" where they ate the lotus flowers and didn't want to leave.
For those of you not familiar with the lotus flowers, here is a 2 minute and 16 second snippet of that scene.
Your "lotus flower" was that cinnabon you picked up at the beginning of your trip to the mall. Remember that?
Now that you have all these bags in hand, and your fingers are now glued together from the icing on the cinnamon roll you bought an hour ago that you finally decided to eat, you head to the bathroom and upon entering the stall you realize that you have nowhere to place your bags, including your purse. That tiny hook on the back of the door isn't big enough to hold all of your latest purchases and the lock on the door is broken.
You could just go home and pee, but instead you try to navigate holding the door closed while squeezing the bag handles (which are sometimes smaller than spaghetti straps on a dress) clasping them tightly as though they are $100 bills and wiggle out of your shorts and undies so that you can hover over the toilet(because as we all know, no self-respecting woman sits on a public toilet, who knows who (or what) sat there last.) As you try to finish your business, your cell phone rings. You can't get to it without either a) dropping said bags to the floor or b) having an accident. So you bypass the phone call and instead hurriedly try and wipe and pull(shorts) as you lose your balance and the door smacks you in the head.
You lift your foot to push the button to flush and then you head back out, WASH YOUR HANDS(please!) and then go out to the mall for more money-spending madness.
By the time you are done you have bought three more outfits, a Hello Kitty Jewelry set for your niece's upcoming birthday, a mug for your mother, a "cute" tee for that niece of yours, and you signed up to win a new car. By the way, for future reference, don't ever do that. It is a telemarketers dream to get their hands on your phone number, address and email.
Unfortunately I found that out the hard way.
You head on out to your car.
Great....it's 4 hours later and you can't find it. It's like an oven out there in the parking lot and you flag down a security guard in the hopes of him helping to save you from your plight. You hop in his little caddy and he drives you around the lot and you are listening to his Ipod music which includes lyrics that would make your grandmother blush. He finally finds your car, you thank him, give him a tip which he doesn't say thank you for and you head home.
You walk in the door, the house is still a wreck and that laundry pile from this morning is still staring at you from the floor. You're starving and now you are even more broke than before.
You place your latest purchases on your couch and then throw yourself helplessly exhausted down next to them and realize at that point...."Maybe I should have just done the damn laundry".
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