A Letter To My Children

*I have always wanted to write a letter to my children. Every time I try something comes up. I finally had time, so I wrote it. I just want to make sure that if, God forbid, something bad would ever happen to me, my children would have some type of closure and know how much I love them."

Dear Children:

You know how much I love you. I loved you so much from the day you took your first breath.  I know that I have made many mistakes, and for those I am truly sorry. I want you to know that I have asked for God's forgiveness for all I have done wrong, and I ask you too, to forgive me.

Some lessons I want to share with you.

#1  Things won't always go your way in life. You need to be strong, much stronger than I have been, in making choices in your life.  

#2  Don't follow the crowd. Be your own person. Stand up for those who may not have the courage to stand up for themselves.  You are amazing human beings and I know you are strong and loving individuals. 

#3  Get along with each other.  You don't know how much time you have with one another, learn to love and not hate. 

#4  Read God's word. Most important of all these rules and most of these life lessons/rules are shared in God's word.  When you are sad, pray and read the bible, when you are happy, pray and give thanks, when you are angry...stop, breathe, and pray. Listen for God's voice, he will guide you. I promise.

#5  Treat your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse with respect.  A man is not suppose to belittle or boss around a woman. Tell her she looks beautiful every day. And to my daughter, don't let a man control you. Be financially independent so you aren't forced to rely on a man for help or anyone....ever.

#6  Remember to always respect your elders. Even if they don't deserve it....show them respect.  Maybe they aren't having the greatest day and just listening to them rant or holding a door open for them(even if they don't say thank you) will brighten their day.

#7  Help others.  Don't brag or boast about it, just do it...humbly. Don't expect anything in return, do it out of love and compassion not for reward or for acknowledgement.  

#8  Stay away from drugs and alcohol. Don't smoke. Don't harm your bodies with anything immoral or unnatural. Your body belongs to God, you need to respect it because of that very reason.  Don't have sex until marriage. Even if you don't abide by this I still love you, no matter what.

#9  Do your best. No matter what failures come along your way, do your best in everything you do.  I was taught in church that our jobs, our family life and our daily actions should be done so they are pleasing to the Lord. Just remember to give it your best and God (and I as well) will smile.

#10  Listen. I mean, listen when someone is talking to you. I know it's tempting to want to interject your thoughts or opinions, but sometimes all people want you to do is listen to them. When they are finished speaking, speak to them in a non-condescending tone and with compassion. If someone is angry at you, try your hardest not to reply in anger. Say "I feel like (feeling) when you say(what they say)".  Never use physical force to make someone do what you want. Never beat a woman. Nor should you, daughter, be struck by a man...EVER.

Most importantly, love one another.  This goes somewhat with #3, but truly, truly love one another. 

To my oldest:  You are a gifted young man. I love you so much. No matter what failures in life have come upon you, you are a wonderful person and you can have all that you deserve. Your failures do not DEFINE you. You have such a gift with the written word and spoken word. As I've always told you, you my son, should be a lawyer. You have a way to convince people that fact may not always be so.  Call it "making people second guess themselves". LOL But do right with that gift. You have the potential to be an amazing father....don't let fear stand in the way of that. You are loved. Your daughter loves you. She always will. No matter what. I love you no matter what.

To my second born:  You have a witty sense of humor. Work on your communication skills when it comes to talking on the phone( ha ha.) You are such a gifted person and with your computer knowledge I can see you owning a computer company some day.  And yes, you will marry a wonderful woman some day as well. She is out there, she is just finding her way to you I am sure. You will be an amazing husband and father some day. Love that woman with every fiber of your being, and never ever go to bed angry.  Talk to her, talk to your children and remind them how much you really love them.

To my third son: You are an amazing child. I am so sorry for the mistakes I have made which caused us to live so far apart. This applies to your older brothers as well. But it breaks my heart every time I want to talk to you in person and I can't or hug you or take care of you when you are sick. You will be an amazing father and husband. You have a strong gift of compassion and love. It surrounds you. Continue to follow God's word and who knows you may be called to minister in a church someplace else.  Do well in your college studies (which I know you will) and you will go far in life. 

To my fourth son:  You are an amazing blessing. Your happiness and the joy that radiates from you is inspiring and contagious. Despite all the hospitals and doctors you have visited in your life, you have a wonderful personality. You go ahead and continue to play with Barbies and those things that people label "girly". Be yourself son.  There is nothing wrong with a boy doing that, just as there is nothing wrong with girls throwing a football or playing with hot wheels or being a mechanic.  Some day, you will make a wonderful father and husband, because of your love and imagination.  I am so sorry we live so far apart. I cry some nights when I hear your cries asking me, "When I grow up, can I live with you?" Of course son, anytime. 

To my fifth son:  You have a very willful personality. But I believe that some day you will find God and you will be a leader in some fashion. I hope that you will guide people in a positive direction, perhaps working with troubled youth, or helping in the church or maybe you'll be a quarterback on a major NFL team. You have a colorful personality and with your wit and wisdom you can engage others in listening to what you have to say.  Do it gently.  Do not be bossy or rude to others. Respect women. Open doors for them and pull their chair out for them. Chivalry still does exist, despite the women's movement.  You are wonderful. I DO love you, I know you don't believe me with all the rules I have but I have rules because I love you and I need to protect you.  Tame your anger, put all those feelings into words...write a poem, a song, or a book.  Take your anger out on the field. Use it positively and not negatively. Things won't always go your way in life, but that's okay, sometimes things that we think are bad, turn out to be blessings in disguise.

To my sixth son:  You are a blessing(all of you are), but you have a unique gift of compassion.  You think of others and I know you have a heart of gold son. Follow your heart and give to others whatever gifts you can share. You are an amazing writer and artist. You have such a gift in the creative arts. If that is  your dream, go for it. Yes you are a twin, and that is a bond you can never break, but you are also an individual, follow your heart and not what others want you to do. Love dearly and give freely.  

To my daughter:  You are so special to me. A gift from God no doubt. As much as I love your brothers I was grateful to have you come into my life. You blessed me.  You are a wonderful child full of love, compassion and honesty. You enjoy reading God's word, you try to show kindness to others, even when they don't deserve it. You have an amazing heart. You also have a gift with writing and drawing. Use those gifts and perhaps someday you will be a famous writer or children's book author. Or maybe Gymnastics will be your calling. You try so hard to do what is asked of you. Do your best baby girl. No matter how hard trials in life may be, you will definitely succeed at whatever you do, so long as you never give up. Don't settle. Don't settle for a man who treats you poorly, don't settle for a job you aren't happy in, don't settle for anything. 

To my granddaughter: Busha loves you with every fiber of my heart and soul. You will have peace in your life, your parents love you dearly and will be with you again. I believe this, as I pray to God every night for healing for all of you. Be strong sweet child, and do your best in school, life and work. You have a beautiful heart and some day you will be a beautiful mother and wife.  Hold on to values and morals and don't let anyone make you feel that you are not important or need to be respected. You are loved. God loves you and I love you. 

Finally, to all my children, look to God for guidance. He is there. My favorite bible passage is this: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Remember that.  In your darkest hours, read Psalm 23, 91 or 40.  Those are some of my favorites.

And finally, remember that I wrote this entire blog so that some day you would have something to read and remember some funny (and not so funny)times in our life. To share with your children and their children. Print this out, to read when the power goes out or you lose your internet.  You will find some giggles in here along the way.

I love you all so very much. You all were my greatest blessings.  I apologize for anything I have done wrong and I hope you will forgive me.  I never thought I'd end up here, in Nevada, but apparently that was where God needed or wanted me to be. 

I know some day we will all be together. If not on earth then in Heaven. 

Do your best children, and I promise you God will do the rest.

With much love,

Mommy